04/13/2021
What I find curious (not so much so - being nice) is all to often is those of us who suffering the most, from the rarest and most obsecure of illnesses, end up doing the most LEGIT research and discovery, awnser our own "complicated" as were so often called issues and are truly THE ONLY ONES THERE AND OUR ONLY ADVOCATES.
Its actually just that, were too complicated and time consuming to put "real effort" or "time" into, but in doing so get a litnay of derogatory names and labels pinned on us like a giant game of pink the tail on the donkey.
Honestly, I'd rather be a freakin pinata where eventually after some swings and misses eventually hit and awnsers fall out.
I read, like really, really read. Journals, case studies, cross reference conditions etc.
I'm not your average facty, Dr. Google search engine search. I got hard and legit and don't give a s**t if I make ANY Drama or nurse feel incompetent bc I DO KNOW more about my conditions, body, its pain and hate and beyond pi**ed with being pasified by professionals with fragile egos who don't like nor want to have a patient speak to or with them in clinical medical terms and have abundance of self awareness of all the b.s. that's going on and not to mention can read, understand, interpret their clinic notes and read a CBC, heme profile, UA...
What I'd really like to say is definitely not FCC approved so I'll stick with go suck ricks and if u can't help, get me someone else who can. I won't further be your lab rat, put down, copy and paste, insert one of my etiologies and shuffle a few words to further the lie.
I'm to the point where going to the hospital is near pointless.
Ive fought dx for nearly 20 years, 3 years of intended tests and a good 10-15+ years of issues of unknown etiology prior.
I'm worn out.
I have ALWAYS tried to be super happy, positive, optimistic, loving, put others first, etc. But of late, those feelings have been on a steep decline. Quickly to hurt, anger and defense. I don't like that person. I want to be happy, joyous and free. And I want to die that way and break from this horrible pain.
Just quietely and peaceful.
Let it be my turn so to save an amazing soul, giving, admire and loved by all who is being ravaged by covid.
Peace and love to ALL!!❤🌞🌻
