07/17/2025
During my first semester of grad school, my therapist, who also went to Rutgers, would check in on me. I told her it was taking me two to three hours just to write discussion posts. When I explained why, she gently suggested I get tested for ADHD.
A few months later, I was diagnosed with severe combined-type ADHD, along with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, two conditions that often show up in women with undiagnosed ADHD.
Reading The Divergent Mind helped me understand why so many women go unnoticed. For years, mental health research focused on men, whose ADHD shows up physically, while women’s symptoms, like racing thoughts, emotional sensitivity, forgetfulness, and mental fatigue, are more internal and often missed unless someone has a trained eye. The book describes women like us as the Lost Generation, those who were never diagnosed because the research didn’t include us. It also talks about how many women were misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder when they were younger, which happened to me in my early 20s, but ADHD was the missing piece all along.
Instead of being supported, we learned to mask, to adapt, to work twice as hard, lean into perfectionism and blame ourselves when we couldn’t keep up.
After the diagnosis, I didn’t grieve lost time, I grieved how hard I’d been on myself. All those years thinking I was lazy, messy, or not trying hard enough… when really, my brain just works differently.
Suddenly, so much made sense. Why reading comprehension was hard. Why I needed alternate test formats. Why audiobooks helped me focus. It was like discovering a language I’d been speaking all my life without knowing it.
My ADHD isn’t just a challenge, it’s also my magic. It’s led me to take risks, build a business, host psychic fairs, and say yes to what lights me up.
Yes, I am always late. I forget things. I get overwhelmed. But I’m learning to meet myself with compassion, and to be seen without the mask.
If you’re on this path too, I see you. And you’re not alone. 💛
Ps. Funny ADHD reels are welcomed. 🤣
