Nerissa Hatter, MA, NCC

11/22/2022

"The words we choose matter because they affirm, time and time again, a specific narrative. And, well, often the story we’re telling about ourselves isn’t the kindest and most generous story. Again, I’m often noting with clients that they (probably) wouldn’t ever talk to others the way they speak to themselves – partly because we know that the age-old belief that “—words may never hurt me,” isn’t true. We’re more careful about the words we choose in talking to others than we are with ourselves."

We can all remember what well-meaning people taught us when we were younger: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” And, I have almost a visceral memory of being at r…

07/20/2022

"Considering the “who” of su***de is humbling. And, if there’s anything I learned from my experience sitting with patients in the hospital, it’s that there is not a cookie-cutter picture of who struggles most with suicidal tendencies. I would often consider how typical – how normal – the patients seemed. I’d imagine them, not in the scrubs they were wearing, but in their everyday clothes, walking around the college campus in the city we lived, or ordering coffee at the trendy place around the corner, or sitting around a dinner table with all of their friends."

Some sobering thoughts on su***de and summer. ☀️

Maybe it’s because of the clients I see, or maybe it’s because of the conversations around mental health that are happening in response to gun violence, or maybe it’s because I can become painfully…

04/25/2022

So grateful to have had the opportunity to write for SimplePractice! I've often been encouraged and challenged by reading from other providers, and so I'm humbled to have been able to make a small contribution.

You hold space for your clients every day. But what should you do when your own personal emotions show up in sessions?

04/21/2022

Another helpful take on the problems in self-diagnosing mental health disorders from social media!

With more and more people on social media talking about mental health, what do you do when clients see something online and think it's true?

04/01/2022

"Social networking sites, specifically, have more recently turned into a platform where ‘influencers’ are presenting diagnostic information that is leading us, the one’s looking at our screens, to “diagnose” ourselves. This means that anyone, especially those far too young and who are certainly not trained, has access to incomplete and inaccurate information regarding mental health diagnoses in their hands."


The latest piece on the trend of "self-diagnosing" and why, in many ways, it's unhelpful and harmful. We see it so very much and it's important to be mindful of what it's actually costing us. Give it a read!

I remember when I had to purchase my very own copy of the DSM-5 – the widely accepted diagnostic manual for identifying and diagnosing various mental disorders. It’s not until you’re about ha…

01/10/2022

"Personally, the role of social media in my life has taken different shapes over the years. The older I get, the more malleable I realize myself to be and the less interested I am in being shaped by the things and people I see on the internet because, frankly, it provides only a shallow and fake and empty version of belonging. And, the more I discover these things in my real-life, the more passionate I become about being a place of belonging for my clients – a space where they taste what it is to experience real-life belonging and where they might even ‘catch’ something that is good, right, and healthy. "


I've thought long and deep lately about some of the more nuanced aspects of social media - the unavoidable (hello to this platform!) and complicated entity of life. These are some of my thoughts on why we might want to think a little bit more carefully about the kinds of things we allow ourselves to digest from all the different social networking platforms. I hope it serves as a friendly reminder of the importance of real-life relationships.

I have a complicated relationship with social media, full of thoughts and opinions and concerns, and even more so as a therapist because of what I see it doing in my clients (like we actually, real…

12/28/2021

This was something I wrote last Christmas, after we had spent about 9 months in the pandemic, and were experiencing exhaustion like we hadn't before. Here we are, an entire year later, in a very similar place. In response to the grim headlines on the news, I can't help but sense the growing anxiety and exhaustion in my own body, ever reminding me of the ongoing reality of the pandemic.


This is exhausting, and our bodies are holding so much and have been for so, so long. I found this reminder helpful, and am encouraged to thank my body for the way it has protected me so far, and to provide it a space to rest. Maybe it can do the same for you.


Despite it all, I hope you've found rest and joy this holiday season! And Happy New Year!

In March of this year I was supposed to board a plane with a few friends to begin a 10-day journey through Ireland and Scotland. We had planned it for months – Airbnb’s booked, plane ti…

12/13/2021

I'm in the process of thinking, and writing, a lot about devices, social media, and the like - both in a professional and personal context. It's hard to avoid the consequences of a digital age in my work with clients, and, over the years, it's been hard to avoid the personal consequences that come from digital demands in my own life.


So, in light of all that, this was such a refreshing read! I am hopeful that this conversation is becoming more and more relevant, not only in the world of therapy, but in daily life with our friends and family.


Here's a friendly reminder to practice presence - I do have a blog post about that ;) - and look up from the screens at the people and world right in front of us!

How can we go about making new friends in the Digital Age?

11/29/2021

"And yet, even still, I find a paradox. As winter begins and the days get shorter and colder and darker, there’s a unique joy and excitement in the air with the anticipation of the holidays. Though the sky is dark, there’s still brightness and life and joy. It looks different; perhaps I have to even look harder to find it, but it’s there. Even in the darkness, there’s still beauty."


The transition into Winter this year has felt especially challenging, and I don't know that I'm alone in that (I'd like to think not!). I'm reminded that, even still, there's beauty and joy to be found - brightness of life exists, even when I have to look a little bit harder to find it.


Read the latest post on how I've been challenged to looking beyond, and in spite of, the darkness of Winter.

There’s something about the shorter days that brings with it a shift from one season to the next – the trading of a “Cozy Fall” for a “Dark Winter.” And, it& #821…

11/02/2021

"To make friends – and maintain them – as an adult is a particular kind of hard. Early adulthood (when do I have to stop including myself in that category?) is transient in ways that previous stages of life hasn’t been. There’s a steady stream of new marriages, new babies, new cities, new jobs, new churches, new everything – for you, me, and the people we’re around. The seasons are shifting at a pace that feels uncomfortable and certainly not conducive to establishing friendship in time before another incoming season shakes whatever foundation you built, and it’s on to the next thing. And so, making new friends and building relationship that develops into steadfast friendship is rare and really hard and can feel really lonely."


Some thoughts on the unique challenge of making and maintaining friends as an adult. It's hard and exhausting, but so deeply worth it - to have steadfast friendships that don't waiver in the most rocky of seasons.


What has been the hardest part of making or maintaining friendship as an adult for you?

I was recently able to spend a long weekend with my very best friends for the first time in awhile. Once upon a time, in the not so distant past, we were able to spend every weekend together if we …

10/05/2021

"'I am so tired always,' said Mark, a close friend. 'For the first time in my life, I am struggling not to hit the snooze button multiple times.'

These struggles are not new. They were a common theme over the past three years in my reporting on The Practice of Groundedness, and they were a large part of what drove me to write the book. But they are intensifying. Google searches for the phrase “Why am I tired all the time?” have been at their historical highs between July 2021 and September 2021."

And what you can do about it

09/13/2021

"Life has a way of sweeping past us quickly, only to leave us off-balance and at arms length from the reality of our day-to-day – easily consumed by the mundane rhythms of hearing your alarm, sipping that first drink of coffee, waiting in morning traffic, making your contribution to society through your work (Happy belated Labor Day), waiting longer in even more traffic on your way home, deciding which Trader Joes frozen meal you’ll eat that night, climbing into bed, and doing it all over again. Day in and day out. The monotony we experience serves as a kind of fuel for the engine of life that speeds by, leaving behind nothing but windblown hair and a frazzled realization: it’s September already."


Being "present" in the middle of what becomes a monotonous schedule is a challenge for even the best of them; yet, doesn't that prevent us from actually... living? These are some things I've reflected on throughout this quiet summer.


Check out the latest post to read more!

Oh, hi. Hello. It’s been awhile. The last post was published on May 12 – some 3 full months ago. It might be just me (I know it’s not), but it seems like I sneezed back in January and it is a…

05/12/2021

Some final thoughts on shame.


"When we leave shame unaddressed, we live with one primary objective: don’t let people see. We work to prove to them – and ourselves – that we are worthy by hiding our insecurities and revealing only that which presents an image of strength, confidence, and success. We hope that the accolades, promotion, money, or family will convince us that we have something to offer. That nothing is wrong with us. That we are successful. Until the next moment shame tells you that it still isn’t enough. And then we work harder. This endless cycle perpetuates itself."

This is the final part of my Unintentional 3-Part Series on Shame (Part 1 & Part 2), which I am affectionately deeming the official name. The first post brought attention to how shame serves as…

05/11/2021

Really enjoyed this read! It was relevant, witty, and incredibly informative on what happens when, and how, we "burnout" - particularly as women.


The very last sentences sum up what was the most helpful reminder: "Trust your body. Be kind to yourself. You are enough, just as you are right now. Your joy matters. Please tell everyone you know."

05/04/2021

May is Mental Health Awareness Month! Here is a helpful resource for Pennsylvania residents to become familiar with the mental health resources provided in your area.

Your mental health matters. Use this guide to find resources in Pennsylvania. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, call 911.

04/20/2021

"Gaslighting" is a phrase that often gets thrown around, which sometimes leaves room for a misunderstanding on what it really is. It's more common than we think it might be in some relationships. Would you know how to spot it? Here is a helpful resource I found noting some of the most common signs of gaslighting.


If this is your experience, start by becoming more educated on what this is and the different resources available in your area that can help you navigate these relationships.