Therapy for anxiety, depression, trauma, and PTSD to help you turn pain into power and avoidance into action. Hi, I'm Anya, and I'm imperfect and enough. So.
Providing concrete tools and strategies to help you overcome the obstacles to standing up and speaking up. I’m a person, just like you. I’m a person first, then a therapist. I’m a wife, a mom, a daughter, a trampoline lover, a kickboxer, a book hoarder, a makeup ju**ie, (costume) jewelry collector, high heel admirer, and coffee connoisseur. While being a therapist is my profession and I consider c
onducting myself professionally very seriously, therapy is personal. personal. It’s a vulnerable place and can feel so scary (in the beginning). It’s so personal that I might not even be the therapist for you, and that’s ok. You need to find the place where you can sit down, exhale, and feel relief. The therapeutic relationship is often one of the healing elements of therapy and is the best predictor of successful outcomes regardless of what type of therapy is practiced.
01/05/2022
A beautiful, heartwarming story about a friendship between a dog and an elephant. A little light for these gloomy days :)
In this latest installment of CBS News Assignment America, Steve Hartman visits an animal sanctuary where a dog and an elephant have formed a very lasting, a...
New Year but same feelings— this is what I’ve been hearing from people as the year begins. It’s hard when it feels like the same thing day in and day out, the weather is gloomy, COVID is surging, and we still can’t do the things we want when we want. I’m not going to tell you to be gratefu...
03/11/2021
This past year has been an unpredictable journey for all of us. This blog post is about my experience doing a Kintsugi workshop and how this art is all about imperfection, worthiness, and acceptance. www.couragecompasstherapy.com/blog/kintsugi
03/10/2021
Wondering why you're not "happy" when it's nice outside?
Many people feel paradoxical mood shifts around the start of Daylight Savings Time due to changes in circadian rhythms. I have found that people who feel this way are less likely to say anything because they will be met with comments like- "Be happy, it's spring! It's nice out!" Or, "Why do you feel that way now as opposed to the fall?"
I will not speak to the harm that dismissive and minimizing comments have right now, but you can see how hearing these statements would dissuade people who are struggling to ask for help or support. Here is an article from 2019 explaining more about the reasons for mood disruption at Spring Forward, and some tips to get through it more easily.
If you don't feel "happy," you are not alone. If you do feel happy and optimistic with more daylight and warmer temperatures, that's also great. As always, we want to be mindful and aware of everyone's individual emotional experiences.
This weekend, we'll move our clocks ahead for daylight saving time. Academics who study sleep and depression say the time switch is unhealthful. But there are a few things you can do to make it feel less harsh.
THIS. So much this. My pet peeve is when people I'm seeing (now virtually) are experiencing unnecessary suffering. There is suffering that is inevitable as 2020 has very clearly shown us, but symptoms of ADD/ADHD doesn't have to be in the mix.
Specializing in anxiety, I have found that many people coming in with symptoms of anxiety do not, in fact, just have anxiety. This is why I screen and assess different symptoms and disorders. If we don't know what's causing what, how do we know what will work to help?
I know ADD can easily be dismissed with many objections, explanations, and dismissals. I've heard them. They break my heart, as many are misunderstood and misguided. "People have gotten through this long, wouldn't someone have noticed it?" No. "I'm just a forgetful person." Maybe you're not. "I know someone who has ADD and I am not like them in any way." ADD/ADHD presents differently in children, adults, and different genders. I'd rather rule out ADD/ADHD than dismiss it without thorough investigation.
Some people experience symptoms of ADD/ADHD because of trauma, which is certainly something evaluate and discern. However, when symptoms do point to undiagnosed ADD, and medication is started as a complement to therapy, the clouds part and there is a rainbow. I'm not kidding. Please read this article because the title says it all: "I could've been myself so much longer."
“Shame caused me to write off my symptoms for many years. The realities of being a Black woman also held back my diagnosis, as did grappling with strongly ingrained attitudes about medication and mental health. While I can still be tough on myself, my diagnosis has ultimately led me down a path of...
Mental Health America understands that racism undermines mental health. Therefore, we are committed to anti-racism in all that we do. This means that we pledge to work against individual racism, interpersonal racism, and institutional racism in all their forms.
10/04/2020
It's been rough. And that's an understatement. Everyone I'm seeing is drained, exhausted, weary, burnt out, irritable and so tired. Yes, I have several words to describe literally not having any fuel in the tank because it's that pronounced.
Sometimes there are no words that can help (but knowing eye rolls kind of make it a tad better). There isn't a magic wand or a perfect solution to all that is happening right now.
Sometimes narrowing the focus on what is directly in front of you--what you have to do right now-- is helpful. Focus on what you can control.
And we can keep going-- slowly, and with hope.
09/02/2020
Here is a wonderful free training on how to help frontline workers decrease stress and increase resilience during these times. This is not limited to healthcare workers; but rather all of the people who are helping in various ways and settings. https://youtu.be/X_f013nZe8M
This video is so fantastic. It helps demystify what therapy like, addresses common fears, and demonstrates that vulnerability.is.not.weakness. Cultural and familial rules and myths about what therapy is or is not make it that much harder to take that first step.
Therapy can help anyone and everyone. Like the therapist says in the piece, it helps one connect with themselves on a deeper level. This then enriches their relationships with others.
That's why we're here, right? Connection, love, joy, fulfillment, contentment... We get to all of those by walking through vulnerability.
When you approach the point of insanity (doing the same things expecting different results) and try to figure out what needs to change in order to get what you want, what if THAT'S the whole problem? The thing you're doing wrong is trying to figure out what you're doing wrong?
People feel symptoms of anxiety from myriad causes. Feeling “not good enough” due to being rejected is a common source. Digging deeper into this, many people who experienced being bullied and/or excluded as a child/teen ended up spending a lot of time alone for protection or by default. The feel...
07/31/2020
Sometimes symptoms of anxiety and ADD/ADHD mirror eachother, especially during times of stress. Many people I see with chronic anxiety have underlying ADD/ADHD.
While it can be a controversial diagnosis, adults are underdiagnosed; especially non-hyperactive women.
This article highlights the struggle people with both ADD/ADHD and anxiety are experiencing right now.
ADHD and anxiety are closely connected. Anxiety disorder is ADHD’s most common comorbidity — in no small part because the ADHD experience makes for a life characterized by stress and worry. This is especially true in the time of COVID, when new coping mechanisms are required.
07/31/2020
Please spread the word about this upcoming group for black men. Not limited to PA!
The 4 Pillars of Meaning That Will Help Us Emerge From the Pandemic Better Than Before by EMILY ESFAHANI SMITH When researchers and psychologists look at who copes well in a crisis, it’s those who have adopted a spirit of “tragic optimism.” The term was coined by Viktor Frankl, the Holocaust s...
04/29/2020
Yes, what you are feeling is normal. No, you are not the only one experiencing that. We are all going through so many feelings as we endure and navigate this challenging time.
04/27/2020
In case you haven't heard, Brene Brown has a new podcast that provides a lot of support, information, and insight into dealing with life as we know it right now.
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It’s ok. I’ll just die here before I inconvenience you. That was the way I was treating myself before I accepted my life-threatening peanut allergy.
Does this have peanuts in it? I used to hate to ask this question when I ate in restaurants, visited friends' houses, or attended other events. Many times (when I ended up in the ER), I didn't ask at all. Read on to see how this relates to my story as a therapist and creating my practice, Courage Compass Therapy.
In 2004, the last time I was in the ER for anaphylactic shock, I ordered tuna with soba noodles. There was nothing on the menu to indicate the dish had peanuts, but 30 minutes later I was in the ER, driven by a friend. I had to tell the administrative person through shortness of breath, terror, alarm, shock, loneliness (said friend had to park) that I was deathly allergic to peanuts and having a reaction.
I had an epipen and DIDN'T use it. I didn't call an ambulance either. I didn't want to be an imposition. I didn't want attention. I didn't want people to think differently of me. I didn't want to stand out as a person with a problem. That's how important it was for others to like me and not disapprove of, be annoyed by, or be inconvenienced by me. I wanted to control the way others perceived me to the point where it could have killed me.
Today, I look back on all of these times with sadness and self-compassion for that part of me that used to think I was imposing on people to ask about peanuts. I would be annoying. I would be THAT person that people would roll their eyes at. I would inconvenience people in having to check. They would gossip about me to their coworkers. But those are all things I was making up. I didn't know if they were true at all. No one had ever scoffed at me for asking. I jumped to conclusions and just believed them without evidence. My whole system of decision making was based on something that had never happened. I really could have avoided so much terror, panic, and fear if I would have just asked.
The reaction was SO bad that night that I was almost admitted to the hospital. I guess you could say I was scared straight.
Fast forward to 2017 and our culture is so much more informed about food allergies. Schools are nut free. People understand the gravity of a food allergy and are happy to accommodate.
This doesn't mean that I don't ask or protect myself. I am still vigilant and do not even eat at Asian restaurants, or order dishes that could even be questionable. It's so much easier and comforting that people don't consider it an inconvenience.
Case in point, I was in a phase where I was Jamba-Juice obsessed, and asked for my smoothie to be made in the peanut free blender. I became a regular for a little while, and the cashier recognized me and asked other employees to use the peanut free blender if she wasn't making it-- WITHOUT MY HAVING TO ASK. Talk about relief, safety, and comfort. The appreciation I felt in that moment was inexplicable.
Why am I sharing this with you?
I work with so many people who do not give voice to their needs, despite clear circumstances that demand it of them. They minimize their feelings about it, they shape-shift to avoid disapproval from others, and eschew judgment from the world. They hide their gifts from the world because they are afraid of taking up too much space or being wrong.
Because of my own journey, I am beyond passionate about helping people to find their voice, understanding the self-destructive tendencies when they ignore their feelings and needs, and learning how to step into their own vulnerability.
To take what makes them "different" and "separate" and help them own it as a part of what makes them unique. This is where a “courage compass” comes in. In order to tap into our inner reservoir of courage takes the willingness to be vulnerable. We need an inner compass to guide us on this courageous journey to a place where we can show up and be seen as our authentic selves with freedom and confidence.
It is my mission in my practice. To help you find your courage, develop your own personal compass, and use it. To let others and you know that YOU are worth it. You CAN empower yourself to build the courage and grit needed to ascend to a new level of functioning where you are as important as everyone else.
