07/08/2024
🍃 It takes a lot of humility to accept and acknowledge the things that don’t work for you anymore. The way you once used to respond to stress, conflict and negative experiences may have worked in the part to keep you safe, but now that your environment is different, it’s a process to recognize, unlearn and relearn a new way of responding to those stressors.
🌱 Often we cling to the behavior we know best simply out of familiarity and habit. We use our old software and refuse to upgrade because the new one is confusing and it can feel easier, often in moments you need the upgrade, to stick with the old ways. Sometimes after repetitive experiences, some realize that they need the new software or they’re never going to get further than where they are now. Some aren’t able to recognize that it’s a software issue and try other things.
🌿 This is when pride enters the chat. Most of us know when we have pride calling the shots. Some of us may not realize that it is pride that is doing that and that’s where we can start to name the feeling driving our behaviors. Maybe it’s not pride. Maybe it’s feelings of insecurity, inadequacy or rejection. And maybe pride is the shield we use to protect us from revealing what’s truly behind it. Maybe this worked to keep you safe before. But if your goal is to cope with stress, resolve conflict or manage negative feelings, you need a different strategy.
🪴 When this happens—when the goal is no longer just safety—these routine behaviors and habits actually work against you. They keep you isolated. They keep you inward and non-expressive. They keep you occupied and always “on”. It’s often why you may feel so exhausted. This is when it’s beneficial to really consider how much we want to allow fear (insecurity, inadequacy, etc) and pride direct us and consider how much that strategy of dealing with things is actually helping. Most times it’s not helping.
🌳 To get an outcome you haven’t seen before, you need to try something you haven’t done before. But before you can do that, you must accept that the old ways of “coping” aren’t really working for you anymore, they’re actually hurting you, and likely others.
🪴 Growth
