Pamela Goffman, LCSW

Pamela Goffman, LCSW Psychotherapy for individuals, couples, families, and groups. Specializations include Psychodrama, Trauma Recovery, Attachment and Relational Issues.

01/21/2026

Most people don’t realize that life doesn’t repeat because of fate — it repeats because of loops.

This image shows two very different cycles we can fall into, often without noticing.

At the center of both is INTENTION.
Not the intention we say we have — but the intention we act from when things get uncomfortable.

🔁 The Victim Loop

This is the loop of unconscious living.

Something happens. A situation triggers discomfort.

Instead of facing it, we:

Ignore what hurts

Deny our role

Blame circumstances or people

Rationalize our behavior

Resist change

Hide from truth

And then… the same situation shows up again.
Different face. Same lesson.

The Victim Loop feels safe because it protects the ego.
But safety comes at a cost: stagnation.

Nothing grows here. Nothing heals here.
Only stories do.

🔁 The Accountability Loop

This is the loop of conscious growth.

The same situation arises — but this time, we choose differently.

We:

Recognize what’s really happening

Own our response, not the story

Forgive ourselves and others

Self-examine without self-attack

Learn the lesson

Take action, even when it’s uncomfortable

This loop doesn’t feel easy.
But it feels free.

Because every pass through it makes you wiser, lighter, and stronger.

⚖️ The Truth Few Talk About

Both loops begin with the same situation.
The difference is choice.

You don’t escape the Victim Loop by blaming less people.
You escape it by telling yourself the truth.

And you don’t enter the Accountability Loop by being perfect.
You enter it by being honest.

🌱 A Gentle Reminder

Accountability is not punishment.
It’s self-respect.

Forgiveness is not weakness.
It’s clarity.

Growth doesn’t happen when life gets easier —
It happens when you get braver.

Ask yourself today:
Which loop am I feeding — and which one is feeding me?

Because the moment you change your loop,
your entire life trajectory shifts.

01/03/2026

Developing an inner refuge where we feel loved and safe enables us to reduce the intensity of traumatic fear when it arises.

12/30/2025

Real love is...
Even strangers can share a bed.
Physical closeness alone does not require trust, patience, or responsibility. Desire can exist without depth, without commitment, without care.

Love is something entirely different.

Love is sacrifice — choosing another person even when it costs you time, comfort, or ego.
Love is patience — staying calm through misunderstandings, growth, and change.
Love is choice — made every day, not just when things feel easy or exciting.

Love is listening when you’re tired and still choosing to understand.
It’s holding space for someone’s pain even when you have your own.
It’s forgiving when you’re hurt, not because the pain didn’t matter, but because the connection mattered more.

Real love stays when the attraction fluctuates.
It stays through stress, boredom, disagreement, and hardship.
It doesn’t run the moment things get uncomfortable.

Anyone can want a body.
But love requires caring for a heart.

Love means choosing honesty over convenience.
Respect over control.
Loyalty over temptation.

🌱 Love is built in quiet moments — in daily effort, mutual respect, shared values, and emotional safety.
It is proven not by intensity, but by consistency.

S*x may bring closeness for a moment.
But love creates safety, trust, and a place to rest — for a lifetime.

That kind of love is not common.
It is cultivated.

I had the privilege of being a guest on this important podcast.
12/06/2025

I had the privilege of being a guest on this important podcast.

Podcast Episode · Culture Under Fire · 11/25/2025 · 48m

11/09/2025

Anxiety isn't just fear..

11/07/2025
Share this wonderful suite! Beautiful corner office in Center City Philadelphia- with windows facing North and East. 12’...
11/04/2025

Share this wonderful suite! Beautiful corner office in Center City Philadelphia- with windows facing North and East. 12’4” X 14” 4”. Huge waiting room. Please DM for further details.

07/26/2025

Once you become mature..

Some spots still available!
05/25/2025

Some spots still available!

Register this week for this live dynamic Parenting workshop!
05/20/2025

Register this week for this live dynamic Parenting workshop!

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Philadelphia, PA

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