Dr. Larry Waldman

30/07/2024

Reflections on Today’s Political Climate: Echoes of Family Turmoil

By
Larry F. Waldman, PhD, ABPP
Psychologist

During my tenure in family law for over two decades I often encountered the heart-wrenching spectacle of children entangled in their parents' bitter divorce. Parents wielding their offspring as pawns in their battles with their ex was distressing and tragically common. These children suddenly found their world turned upside down. The cherished image of their loving family unit was shattered, replaced by mistrust, confusion, turmoil and rule changes.

Today, parallels can be drawn between the distress of these children and the disillusionment felt by many American citizens amidst the current political landscape. Politicians, much like warring parents, engage in vicious attacks and character assassinations, diverting attention from substantive issues and fueling divisiveness. Rather than serving the interests of the people, they prioritize personal agendas, leaving constituents feeling betrayed and marginalized.

Moreover, the erosion of judicial impartiality only compounds the disillusionment. Judges entrusted with upholding the law are increasingly swayed by partisan biases, undermining the integrity of the legal system. Even the highest court, the Supreme Court, faces scrutiny with reports of justices succumbing to influence and corruption.
The inconsistency of laws across states further exacerbates the sense of chaos and confusion: Contentious issues such as abortion and ma*****na legalization highlight the stark disparities in legislation, leaving citizens questioning the fairness and coherence of the overall legal framework.

Many Americans feel powerless and overwhelmed, seeking refuge from the relentless barrage of political strife. Yet, there remains a collective yearning for a return to civility and cooperation. Just as children caught in the midst of their parents' battles long for stability and harmony, citizens yearn for leaders who prioritize unity and consensus-building over partisan agendas.

Larry F. Waldman, Ph.D., ABPP is a licensed clinical, forensic psychologist who practiced in the Paradise Valley area of Phoenix for 45 years. He worked with children, adolescents, parents, adults, and couples. He also provided forensic consultations in the areas of family law, personal injury, and estate planning. He speaks professionally to laypersons, educators, corporations, and fellow mental health professionals. He teaches graduate counseling courses. He is the author of “Who’s Raising Whom?” “Coping with Your Adolescent,” “How Come I Love Him but Can’t Live with Him?” “The Graduate Course You Never Had,” “Too Busy Earning a Living to Make Your Fortune?” “Overcoming Your Negotiaphobia,” “Love Your Child More Than You Hate Your Ex” and “Silver S*x: Insights into Senior S*xuality.” LFW@larrywaldmanphd.com; TopPhoenixPsychologist.com.

13/07/2024

Attached is a link to my recent guesting on a podcast regarding parenting adolescents:

Why do so many parents seem unable to cope with reigning in anti-social behaviours in teenagers? How do parents deal with aberrant behaviours that get out o...

30/04/2024

Last night aced presenting a graded practice to complete my 2-year yoga teacher certification program at Scottsdale Community College.

22/06/2022

03/11/2020

This guest podcast just went live.

Why You Need to Understand the 4 Schools of Psychology with Dr Larry Waldman on The Healers Café with Dr. Manon Bolliger, ND

23/02/2020

Jason, 14 is like most male adolescents. He is into video games, hockey, and, of course, hanging with his friends. If you ask him the classic question adults love to ask teens, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Jason will reply, “I don’t know—maybe a lawyer or an engineer.” Like...

20/02/2020

The divorce rate nationally hovers at around fifty percent but it is several percentage points higher in Maricopa County, according to census figures. I believe divorce is a national tragedy, as it is terribly stressful and often expensive for the involved adults, quite sad for the parents of the co...

18/02/2020

Despite our dreams many of us fail to achieve our life ambitions. Many of my clients talk about starting a business, becoming financially independent, writing a novel, traveling, furthering their education, getting physically fit, or becoming a nurse, teacher, or lawyer. Most of the time their objec...

18/02/2020

Schools today are required to provide more services than ever before. For example, many schools across the nation offer a free hot breakfast and lunch to students. Some schools serve as a community mental health center and some even supply medical services to the neighborhood. One service I believe....

30/10/2019

I am about half-way through writing my next book. It's titled "Don't Hate Your Ex More than You Love Your Kid: What Every Divorced (or Divorcing) Parent Needs to Know." It should be done by February of next year.

The book will retail for $18.95. I am running a pre-publication sale: Purchase the book before its done & get 25% off plus 50% off the shipping. Contact me if interested.

30/03/2019

Why I Feel Badly for the Young Adults Involved in the College
Admissions Scandal

By

Larry F. Waldman, Ph.D., ABPP

Psychologist

This scandal hits many folk’s “hot button”: The rich keep getting richer; the discrepancy between the haves and the have-nots continues to deepen; the law is applied differently to the super rich; and, of course, the blatant unfairness that a deserving student will be supplanted by someone who bribed their way in. I get it.

I submit, though, that those young adults whose parents cheated to get them into top colleges are also victims. There is little doubt that these young persons were raised in a privileged—and indulged—environment. Here’s what we know about overly-indulgent parents and their indulged offspring:

• Indulgent parents often are such due to guilt. Divorce, insufficient time spent with the child, and abuse (of any kind) causes parents to over-indulge the child in the hope that the effects are ameliorated. (They aren’t.)
• Some parents believe that giving their kids whatever they want whenever they want it demonstrates their love, especially if the parents were also reared that way. (We live what we learn.)
• Some parents whom were poor as children choose to not have their kids “suffer” the way they did.
• Also, some parents may perceive a weakness of some kind in their child and thus strive to (over-) protect them.
• Finally, some parents cater to their child for fear the child will not love them (enough).

Children raised under indulged circumstances learn several maladaptive traits:

• Lack of appreciation. If always given what you want when you want it, you don’t learn to appreciate much.
• Irresponsibility. If you never have to work for anything, you have no opportunity to learn responsibility--and the joy of accomplishment.
• Lack of ambition, industriousness and creativity. There is no need for ambition etc. when completely provided for with no work or effort expected in return.
• Narcissism. Indulgence naturally breeds self-centeredness, entitlement, and a lack of compassion for others.
• Low self-esteem. Beneath the façade of “having it all” many young indulged adults come to recognize they haven’t earned or accomplished anything and their parents believe they are incompetent to live independently.

How often do we hear about wealthy privileged individuals succumb to drug abuse, self-harm and su***de? I contend that an indulged childhood, and the issues that stem from that, are, in large part, the cause for these serious problems. Ironically, while indulgent parents think they are loving their kids, they may be killing them. In many circles indulgent parenting is viewed as dysfunctional as child abuse.

Once these indulged students worm their way into a top school will they successfully matriculate? On one hand I doubt it but on the other hand they probably would hire private tutors and perhaps pay someone to write their papers and even take their tests. Top schools are hesitant to flunk students because that would raise questions about their “high standards” for admission. Even if the indulged student graduates, how worthy do they truly feel? (If they don’t feel uncomfortable, then they may be bordering on sociopathy. I did not hear of any “student” tell their parent to stop the deceit and allow them to be admitted, or not, on their own merits. I guess cheating your way into and through an Ivy League school is better than earning a legitimate degree at ASU—which one indulgent parent reportedly feared.)

Sooner or later the indulged adult will attempt to go out on their own. It could be in the work arena but, again, their wealthy parents and their contacts may pave and ease the way. Getting married, though, presents some real challenges. Odds are a wealthy, indulged young adult will connect with another wealthy, indulged person. This pairing of two indulged, self-absorbed, entitled partners, with low self-esteem, is likely to last as long as Mike Tyson at a spelling bee! If the union, by some miracle, persists, my bet is some more indulged kids will be on their way.

This writer, therefore, does feel sorry for the young adults in this scandal--even if he graduated from ASU.

Larry F. Waldman, Ph.D., ABPP is a licensed clinical, forensic psychologist who practiced in Phoenix for 45 years. He worked with children, adolescents, parents, adults, and couples in s solution-focused manner. He also provided forensic consultations in the areas of family law, personal injury, and estate planning. He is a Mental Consultant to Social Security and teaches graduate courses for the School Psychology and Counseling Departments for Ottawa University. He is the author of “Who’s Raising Whom? A Parent’s Guide to Effective Child Discipline;” “Coping with Your Adolescent;” “How Come I Love Him But Can’t Live with Him? Making Your Marriage Work Better;” “The Graduate Course You Never Had: How to Develop, Manage, Market a Flourishing Private Practice—With and Without Managed Care;” “Too Busy Earning a Living to Make Your Fortune? Discover the Psychology of Achieving Your Life Goals.” and “Overcoming Your Negotiaphobia: Negotiating Your Way Through Life.” Dr. Waldman speaks professionally to educators, corporations, chiropractors, attorneys, and mental health associations on the topics of private practice management and development, parenting, marriage, and wellness. His contact information is: 602-418-8161; email: LarryWaldmanPhD@cox.net; Website: TopPhoenixPsychologist.com.

27/03/2019

April 2 is Arizona Gives day. Please consider donating to Stepping Stones of Hope--a local charity which provides support and education to families whom have suffered the death of a member. I am a board member.