05/23/2025
Lately I have not taken the time I need to connect with self, and I’ve felt energizes intensifying. I woke up today with a feeling of knowing that it has been way too long and s**t needed to come out, but I had virtual meetings to attend, and I needed to go into the office after that. I ignored my body and held things together for a few hours at work until I got in the car then slowly opened the tap to let tears fall.
When I got home, I was greeted by my husband and let out a little more. He asked me what I needed, and I quickly landed on just wanting to be alone.
A river of tears ensued for the next hour, and I just felt. Finally, I was able to ask myself questions about what I was feeling, and if I needed to go deeper. Oftentimes what upsets us initially has a thread in our timeline back to an earlier experience. I was able to go back to a teenage version of myself with an unmet need and meet her with the adult version of myself, one who is more capable of handling things. In this experience, I was able to witness my younger self’s burden and cried for her and the armor she carried. I know that I have the skills today to shed that experience and to choose differently.
