The Coda Counselor

12/22/2025

When Children Become the Bridge: What Language-Brokering Research Reveals About Codas

For decades, researchers have studied child language brokering—the phenomenon where children translate adult conversations, documents, and decisions for their families. Most of this research focuses on immigrant households, where children translate for parents navigating systems in a new language. But there is a population hiding in plain sight. Codas—Children of Deaf Adults—have been doing this work all along. The difference is not whether Codas broker language.The difference is that Codas do it because systems fail to provide access, not because families are new to a country....

For decades, researchers have studied child language brokering—the phenomenon where children translate adult conversations, documents, and decisions for their families. Most of this research focuse…

11/18/2025

Why Dinner Table Syndrome Is Trauma

What People and Professionals Need to Know Joy Plote, LPC, CCTS I&F, CI/CT Dinner Table Syndrome (DTS) describes the experience of being physically present but excluded from family communication because others do not use accessible language (e.g., ASL). Deaf children and Deaf adults often sit at a table where conversations happen around them — not with them. This experience is not “inconvenient.”It is chronically traumatic. Below is why. 1. DTS is a Form of Chronic Social Exclusion Trauma research shows that ongoing relational exclusion activates the same neural pathways as physical pain....

What People and Professionals Need to Know Joy Plote, LPC, CCTS I&F, CI/CT Dinner Table Syndrome (DTS) describes the experience of being physically present but excluded from family communicatio…

11/05/2025

When we talk about human connection, we often think of empathy — our ability to understand how someone else feels. But underneath empathy lies something even more fundamental: Theory of Mind (ToM). It’s our brain’s ability to recognize that other people have thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that are separate from our own. For most hearing children, this develops naturally through early conversation and exposure to how people talk about what others think or feel. But for many Deaf and hard-of-hearing (DHH) children — particularly those born to hearing parents who don’t sign — the story unfolds differently....

When we talk about human connection, we often think of empathy — our ability to understand how someone else feels. But underneath empathy lies something even more fundamental: Theory of Mind (ToM).…

11/01/2025

Dinner Table Syndrome: The Loneliness of Being Left Out at Home

By Joy Plote, LPC, CI/CT – Licensed Counselor, Interpreter, and Coda Love is supposed to be shared in conversation, laughter, and connection. But what happens when communication itself becomes the …

11/01/2025

“You have the right to exist and take up space in the world.”That sentence alone has changed lives. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), assertiveness isn’t about being loud or demanding—it’s about balance. It’s learning to honor your truth without harming someone else’s. For many of us raised in families or systems where speaking up felt unsafe, learning to assert our needs can feel unfamiliar. But assertiveness is not aggression—it’s self-respect in action. What Are Assertive Rights? Assertive rights are the basic human rights that remind us we are allowed to express ourselves—our needs, feelings, opinions, and limits—without guilt or apology....

“You have the right to exist and take up space in the world.”That sentence alone has changed lives. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), assertiveness isn’t about being loud or demanding—it’s abo…

10/31/2025

A reflection on the deepest human need — to be understood. I have spent my life in the Deaf community — living, working, and loving within it. I’ve seen the pain that silence leaves behind, the kind that has nothing to do with sound and everything to do with separation. Over and over, I’ve watched families who love each other deeply struggle in the absence of shared communication. Love was never the problem. Access was. For over thirty years I’ve seen Deaf individuals ache for the family who never learned their language....

A reflection on the deepest human need — to be understood. I have spent my life in the Deaf community — living, working, and loving within it. I’ve seen the pain that silence leaves behind, the kin…

10/26/2025

When we talk about trauma-informed care, we often think about how we approach individuals in therapy, education, or crisis settings. But what happens when we enter a community where trauma is not just personal—but collective, cultural, and linguistic? For many Deaf individuals, trauma is not just about one event. It’s often the result of a lifetime of communication barriers, institutional discrimination, audism, and being silenced in their own families and communities. If you are a hearing interpreter, clinician, educator, or service provider wanting to engage with the Deaf community in healthy ways—this post is for you....

Joy Plote, LPC, CCTS I&F, CI/CT When we talk about trauma-informed care, we often think about how we approach individuals in therapy, education, or crisis settings. But what happens when we ent…

10/17/2025

PTSD doesn’t just live in your mind—it shows up in your patterns.

Learn how trauma affects behavior and how understanding those reactions can begin the healing process. 💛

PTSD doesn’t just live in the mind—it shows up in the body, emotions, and behavior in ways that can be confusing or misunderstood. Many trauma survivors are told they’re “overreacting,” “too sensit…

10/15/2025

Upcoming Parent groups. Are you a hearing parent of a Deaf child? Groups are forming now.

Are you looking for a space to connect with other parents of Deaf children? The Space Between is excited to offer a support group for parents like you! If you're interested, simply click on the clipboard icon on the flyer and complete the form. Feel free to share this with any other parents who may be interested.

09/23/2025

Imagine suffering in silence.
For too many Deaf women and girls, abuse and violence come with an added barrier — no safe way to tell their story, no access to the support they deserve.

This happens every single day.
And it shouldn’t.

Take a moment to watch this important video created by our friends with the Justisigns 2 Project, shining a light on the urgent need for change.

As part of the JUSTISIGNS 2 project, we look at deaf survivors of DSGBV recount their stories and experiences of interactions in different scenarios. These are based…

09/19/2025

When someone goes through a traumatic event, one of the hardest parts of recovery can be the idea of telling the story over and over again. Many people don’t want to relive the details. They don’t want to explain what happened. They just want one thing: to stop feeling the way they feel. This is where therapies like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Brainspotting come in. Unlike traditional talk therapy, these approaches don’t require you to put your pain into words. Instead, they use the brain’s natural healing processes to release the emotional charge connected to trauma—without you having to retell your story....

When someone goes through a traumatic event, one of the hardest parts of recovery can be the idea of telling the story over and over again. Many people don’t want to relive the details. They don’t …

08/04/2025

Great message for spiritual leaders all over. Be welcoming. It works!