The Spooky Therapist

The Spooky Therapist šŸ’™ Helping you recover from High-Control Religion & Relationships
šŸ¦‡ Weirdos Welcome
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Have you experienced this? Moral perfectionism is a heavy burden, and it can continue long after we no longer believe in...
03/20/2026

Have you experienced this? Moral perfectionism is a heavy burden, and it can continue long after we no longer believe in concepts like sin, a judgmental god, hell, etc. How have you practiced tolerating uncertainty and ambiguity in yourself?

Moral perfectionism can present as Scrupulosity OCD, but you do not have to meet the diagnostic threshold for OCD to struggle with moral perfectionism. Moral perfectionism can also show up as hypervigilance in PTSD, depression, or generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).

I meant to post this yesterday, but oops- guess yall are getting a double post today.

Note: Content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a replacement for mental healthcare.

Friday moodboard for the recovering perfectionists šŸ–¤ which one is your favorite?
03/20/2026

Friday moodboard for the recovering perfectionists šŸ–¤ which one is your favorite?

Which is your favorite?
03/17/2026

Which is your favorite?

Which creative pursuits did high-control religion discourage? Have you felt creatively stifled by what your religion fra...
03/10/2026

Which creative pursuits did high-control religion discourage? Have you felt creatively stifled by what your religion frames as "acceptable" to express? How have the arts helped you either maintain or discover a sense of self despite a high-control religious background?

I've been working through The Artist's Way the last few months, so I have been thinking about this topic often.
Side question, do I need a Substack? I'm feeling so limited by the format of reels and slideshows lately.

Note:
Content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a replacement for mental healthcare.

Monday ...which is your favorite?
03/09/2026

Monday ...which is your favorite?

Friday šŸ« šŸ–¤šŸ¦‡
03/06/2026

Friday šŸ« šŸ–¤šŸ¦‡

Thereā€™s a lot of conversation about whether therapists encourage estrangement. In my training and ethics code, I was tau...
03/05/2026

Thereā€™s a lot of conversation about whether therapists encourage estrangement. In my training and ethics code, I was taught that my job isnā€™t to make major life decisions for clients. It's to help them explore their own experience, weigh options without judgment, build capacity for tolerating uncertainty, and build self-trust.

This post was also inspired by reflecting on my own therapy journey. Early on, I desperately wanted my therapist to tell me what to do. And now? I am so grateful she didnā€™t.

Therapy works best when you get to decide your path. Yes, our religious parts might want answers. But you get to decide your path, even if itā€™s messy, scary, or unconventional. You get to find your values, needs, and voice, and I am there to hold the space while you do.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a replacement for mental healthcare.

The family projection process shows how parental anxiety gets passed down generationally. You didnā€™t create the family a...
03/04/2026

The family projection process shows how parental anxiety gets passed down generationally. You didnā€™t create the family anxiety by being different. You just brought it to the surface.

In many cases, the religion itself isnā€™t the problem on its own: rather, rigidity, low differentiation, fear-based thinking, and conditional belonging are the problem. This is why two families following the same religion may have very different outcomes.

When religious beliefs are interpreted through a lens of high parental anxiety, they can produce intense anxiety, fear, and strong demands for conformity.

Healing begins by acting from a place of alignment with ourselves-- not by letting anxiety and fear run our lives.

Follow for more on understanding family dynamics, breaking cycles, and reclaiming your own identity.

03/02/2026

I donā€™t explicitly advertise as a therapist for eldest daughtersā€¦ but I see a pattern in my practice.

Eldest daughters often carry deep wounds around responsibility, being a ā€œgood role modelā€ (aka being perfect), and having to be the stable, mature one.

This isnā€™t to compare traumas or say siblings donā€™t suffer, or other genders do not suffer. Everyoneā€™s experience matters.

But if youā€™re an eldest daughter feeling alone in your experienceā€¦ You are not crazy. You are not imagining the dysfunction. You are not alone.

02/24/2026

Whatā€™s something youā€™ve always wanted to try, but havenā€™t, because youā€™re afraid itā€™ll be a "waste"?

Trying new things can feel impossible after growing up in a high-control environment.

Itā€™s not that you are lazy or want to be stuck. It's that youā€™re afraid you will have to stick with something you know deep down does not work for you- just like you had to in your former religion. Your nervous system has learned stillness and "flying under the radar" = safety, and expansion and experimentation = danger.

Because of this fear you will not be able to leave, you might feel like you have to predict if youā€™ll enjoy something before even trying itā€¦ like deciding if you like the peas before taking a bite, and worrying someone will make you finish them if you donā€™t.

Hereā€™s the truth: getting to know yourself is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself after high-control religion. You deserve to explore. Visit a bookstore, watch something you werenā€™t allowed to, try a class or hobby, and most importantly, give yourself permission to leave.

Note: Content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a replacement for mental healthcare.

What did you grieve after leaving high-control religion?Often we mourn things that feel "too taboo" to grieve. Marriage....
02/23/2026

What did you grieve after leaving high-control religion?

Often we mourn things that feel "too taboo" to grieve. Marriage. Parenthood. Career. Life paths we took under threat of eternal punishment if we deviated from "God's Plan."

Grief and regret are messy. They donā€™t care what you think youā€™re ā€œallowedā€ to be upset about.

Your regret is a signal of your truest desires, and your desires are not shameful.

P.S. Iā€™ve really missed writing here!

Disclaimer: Content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a replacement for mental healthcare.


When I say i got that dog in me I mean a dog with a sinister clown costume on its back
02/23/2026

When I say i got that dog in me I mean a dog with a sinister clown costume on its back

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