Dr. Natalie Bernstein

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United States
Pittsburgh, PA
Dr. Natalie Bernstein

* Clinical Psychologist
* Individual and Couples Therapy in person and online in 40+ states

02/08/2024

The fear of the unknown. ⁣
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The feelings of anxiety that surround change, even necessary or positive change can be scary and overwhelming. ⁣
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But if you can view that fear like a wave, a moment in time rather than the whole of your existence, you may feel some relief. ⁣
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02/06/2024

Sometimes our greatest source of stress involves situations that haven’t even happened. ⁣
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Or will never happen. ⁣
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Why do we do this?⁣
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It’s protective. We hold this belief that in order to be safe, we need to plan and prepare while considering every possible scenario. ⁣
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We doubt our ability to cope. Believe we won’t be able to handle future events. ⁣
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It’s familiar. We may have learned that it is helpful to focus on the worst case scenario but that is NOT true. ⁣
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Instead, try to stay out of the imagination, question the accuracy and reality of the situation, and become okay with experiencing temporary moments of discomfort. ⁣
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02/01/2024

Why give others the power to tell you who you are?

And, even if they see you as who you used to be, guess what, you can change.

Find the people who are willing to go this life with the real you.

01/28/2024

How do you see yourself? ⁣
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Are you still the same person that your family declared you to be? The smart one, the shy one, the troublemaker?⁣
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The overly sensitive and difficult one?⁣
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Is that who you really are? Is that fair to who you have become?⁣
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Now is the time to decide who you are and what kind of person you want to be known for. ⁣
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You are no longer defined by your past or who you used to be. ⁣
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Now is the time for you to take control and, for those who have been through this, what advice do you have for others with this struggle?⁣
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Let’s discuss below. ⁣

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Are you defined by who you used to be?

01/23/2024

How many times have you asked yourself these questions…⁣
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How did this happen? ⁣
How did I get here?⁣
What do I do now?⁣
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You move through life making decisions and choices to end up where you think you want to be.⁣
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And it’s good for a while. Things are turning out the way you expected. But somewhere along the line, it feels different. It’s not the same anymore. ⁣
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It’s not as rewarding, fulfilling, or enjoyable. ⁣
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It’s lonely. Disappointing. You feel stuck. Trapped maybe. ⁣
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You’ve changed. And it’s okay. You aren’t meant to be one dimensional your entire life. You grow. Those around you do, too. ⁣
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Realizing that your life is not heading the direction you want can be scary. You may feel grief. Extreme sadness. Let yourself move through those feelings. Investigate them. Learn from them. ⁣
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And slowly start to take steps toward the life that is full of possibilities. ⁣
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01/19/2024

Not everything in a relationship is your fault. ⁣
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Taking responsibility for the emotions of others is not good for you. ⁣
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Accepting blame for choices others make is not good for you. ⁣
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Believing that others treat you poorly because of who you are is not good for you. Or true. ⁣
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Others make choices and act on what they believe to be true, often blaming you during the process. ⁣
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Their choices speak to who they are as a person, their personality, their issues, not you. You’re just the scapegoat. ⁣
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You don’t have to do that anymore. ⁣
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You are more aware now and you aren’t interested in someone else defining who you are. ⁣
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01/12/2024

Fear = avoidance = unhappiness⁣
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We desire certainty. And when we don’t have it, we can experience anxiety. ⁣
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But what if you looked at anxiety as being motivating rather than debilitating? ⁣
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When we need to make changes in our life, especially great change, like ending a job or ending a relationship, it’s scary. There’s no doubt about it. ⁣
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But if you can look at that fear, the fear of the unknown, as information and possibility, it can be seen as a chance for change. ⁣
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So when there is fear, notice and consider it. ⁣
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And realize, if you walk towards the truth, into the possibilities, the fear will become less and you will become more.

01/05/2024

The psychological effects of change are often underestimated. ⁣
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How can the right decision be so painful?⁣
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Why is positive change difficult?⁣
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We often search for meaning in moments of change as an effort to understand. ⁣
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We falsely believe that if we can make sense of the situation, the painful feelings will go away. ⁣
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Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. We need to accept change as difficult, all kinds of change. ⁣
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Give yourself time and support during this transition knowing that you are on your way to a better version of yourself. ⁣
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12/20/2023

Grief doesn’t just show up when someone dies. ⁣
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We can feel grief over many things associated with the loss: ending of a relationship, changing jobs, loss of a life we imagined we were going to have…⁣
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It is much easier for us to get lost in the feeling of anger. It’s almost protective. ⁣
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However… it’s helpful to remember that while anger feels like the primary emotion, most often it’s not the true emotion. ⁣
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Next time you’re feeling angry, see if you can go a little deeper to understand what you’re really feeling. And feel it.⁣

12/18/2023

Reducing the self blame or shame for your struggles, is an important first step.
Healing requires change, and changing the perspective that your life is beyond fixing, or healing, is limiting.
Starting today, can you see your struggles as demonstrations of your strength?

11/21/2023

Do you think this is true?⁣
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While this quote was originally intended to address grief, it can also apply in our daily lives. ⁣
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The more awareness and acceptance you have around your emotions, the easier it becomes to move past them.⁣
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Here’s an example:⁣
You make a mistake at work, you feel angry, and now you’re in a bad mood. Then you go home and get into an argument with your partner, then they become angry, and may even become angry at your kids or a friend. ⁣
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The emotion you felt (embarrassment or rejection) at the time has now become so much bigger and affected your life in a much larger way. ⁣
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This is a small but common example. ⁣
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So what to do?
Try to increase your self-observation of what you are feeling, sit with it for one minute honestly, and then see if it feels better. ⁣
It’s more likely to resolve this way.

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11/16/2023

Negative self-talk can be so automatic you may not even realize you are saying it. ⁣
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When you use these phrases, you are really judging and invalidating yourself.
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Rather than viewing yourself as solely responsible, deserving, and incompetent for the negative aspects of your life you would like to change, try giving yourself a little support, validation, and acceptance. ⁣
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It will allow you space to make changes and I’ll bet it feels better, too. ⁣

11/15/2023

Which one do you struggle with the most?

11/13/2023

Our experiences hold value, not just for ourselves, but for others.

11/01/2023

Write It’s painful to want a relationship to work when it just doesn’t. ⁣
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When the other person doesn’t understand you in the way that you need. ⁣
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When they aren’t willing to try to change to make things better. ⁣
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It’s devastating. ⁣
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The healthiest relationships are based on mutual respect for one another. ⁣
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Believing that the other person wants to understand you and is willing to go through uncomfortable conversations and difficult moments to make it happen. ⁣
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Knowing that your person accepts you in a way that you don’t have to apologize for. ⁣
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That your language is the same: trust, respect, love.

10/22/2023

Unlike other emotions that can be soothed or resolved, grief is a process. ⁣
Grief is an individual experience that brings a lot of external dynamics along with it. ⁣
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Most people know about your loss, so you can’t hide it. ⁣
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It takes a lot of time and energy to stay in both worlds - the world where you can grieve and process your life and the world where you have to return to “normalcy,” back to work, and everyday living. ⁣
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Grief also includes a lot of shame and judgment from others, “How long has it been?” to ourselves, “I should be over this by now.” ⁣
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Recognize that grief takes time and is ever changing. ⁣
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Allow yourself moments to grieve and accept the days where it comes out of nowhere. ⁣
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Don’t judge yourself for not grieving as you “should” or for grieving longer or differently than someone else. ⁣
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There are no rules for grief. ⁣
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10/19/2023

While we all experience a range of emotions, we tend to focus upon the positive ones and avoid the negative. ⁣
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We have this idea that we can control our emotions and approach them with judgment - “I shouldn’t feel this way.” or “I know I’m an awful person, but …”⁣
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The problem with ignoring emotions, however, is that they don’t really go away. They persist through feelings of anxiety and depression or even irritability or exhaustion. ⁣
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By recognizing and accepting all the emotions we are feeling, we can more easily process them, move on, and learn something about ourselves, too.⁣
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So, today, ask yourself…what am I feeling?⁣
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08/16/2023

Reframe the word mistake.
Everything we experience can be seen as information. Information about what we are feeling and what we want or need.
Thinking in terms of a mistake suggests your action was deliberate and can evoke feelings of guilt, embarrassment, and shame.
Information is a more neutral word that removes some of the self-judgment.

08/15/2023

Own your time and choose who you share it with.
And when you can't, choose how long you do.

05/22/2023

I want you to learn to share you feelings with those in your life. ⁣
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But when you do, try to make sure you’re presenting yourself in a way that will be better received. ⁣
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Try to avoid phrases such as “You always” or “You never” and replace with “I feel” or “I would like.”⁣
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03/31/2023

Overthinking, rumination, and worry …
These are all forms of anxiety. .
Here are 5 ways they show up and what to do about them.
What works for you?

03/17/2023

Thumbs up or thumbs down?
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“Write a poem about anxiety” was my request.
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Do you think the computer nailed it?

02/25/2023

Which one is your favorite? Or do you have one to add to the list?

02/14/2023

Improving relationships is possible.
And it doesn’t have to be complicated.
Here are 3 things that you can do now to start making changes.

02/14/2023

Mantra for today…and tomorrow

01/27/2023

Any other ideas?
Sometimes we don’t know what to say.
Here are 5 ways to show you care that work for most situations.
Let me know what you like to say or hear!

01/20/2023

Do not give your past the power, the influence, or the ability to dictate how you live for today.

I get it. I really do. You made choices that you regret, decisions that were embarrassing, and experienced moments that were painful.

And sometimes those memories sneak into your present thoughts and shape your life.

But you’re different now. Nothing is more powerful than who you are right now.

01/16/2023

Can you love someone if you don’t like them?

We hear it all the time. “All You Need Is Love” “Love Changes Everything.”

But 𝘩𝘰𝘸 can you love someone when you have such different beliefs and behaviors?

By looking beyond. By looking past their actions and seeing them for more than who they date, what religion they are (or are not), and the color of their skin.

The who they are, not the what they seem.

Stop looking for all the ways we are different.

Stop comparing.

Deep down, none of those things matter.

We are all flawed, we all have our struggles, and our personal experiences shape our actions.

But we truly are all the same. We are all just trying to find our way in this world, doing the best we can with what we have, and trying to survive.

Try seeing things from the eyes of others. Noticing. Listening. Being open to new perspectives.

Try giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Stop judging.

Try looking for our commonalities rather than our differences.

Add love to your list. Love for yourself and those around you. Those who are the same and those who are different.

It doesn’t mean you agree with them or even like them, but it does mean that you see them.

To truly see them is to show love for them.

01/12/2023

One change.⁣
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When you’re feeling overwhelmed, or thinking about how you need to change your life, I’ll bet you don’t just think of one thing. ⁣
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You think of ALL the things. ⁣
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And it becomes too much. ⁣
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Too overwhelming. ⁣
Too many choices. ⁣
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So you push it aside and carry-on, as you always do. ⁣
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But life brings change. It can’t be avoided.⁣
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So when you think about what you want to change in your life, know that it just starts with ONE thing. ⁣
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Just for today, what one choice can you make to change your life for the better?

01/04/2023

Who’s with me?

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Telephone

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Website

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Try this and see if it affects your mood. #moodswings #selfesteemboost #lowselfesteem #mindset #newyear2024🎉

I don’t like myself. These words can be so ready and painful for so many. #happylifequotes #betterliving #positivelifetips #askdrnatalie #selflovematters #innerchildhealing #narcissisticabuse #childhoodtrauma #psychology #counselor #mentalhealthcounseling #selfesteemissues #mentalhealthissues #depressionhurts

Not liking yourself is one of the worst feelings. . It can be difficult to overcome without therapy, but there are some ways you can begin the process. . #loveyourself #selfhate #authenticlifestyle #onlinecounseling #therapyworks #psychologytips #innerchild #selfhelp #movingon #healing #childhoodtrauma #peoplepleaser

How can you love someone if you don’t like them?⁣ ⁣ By looking deeper. Recognizing they are forgetting battles, too. Focusing on 𝘸𝘩𝘰 they are, not necessarily what they do or don’t do. ⁣ ⁣ Stop looking for all the ways we are different. ⁣ ⁣ Stop comparing. ⁣ ⁣ Deep down, none of those things matter. ⁣ ⁣ We are all flawed, we all have our struggles, and our personal experiences shape our actions. ⁣ ⁣ But we truly are all the same. We are all just trying to find our way in this world, doing the best we can with what we have, and trying to survive. ⁣ ⁣ Try seeing things from the eyes of others. Noticing. Listening. Being open to new perspectives. ⁣ ⁣ Try giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Stop judging. ⁣ ⁣ Try looking for our commonalities rather than our differences. ⁣ ⁣It doesn’t mean you agree with them or even like them, but it does mean that you see them. ⁣ ⁣ Support them as they are and watch their light unfold. #psychologist #positivethoughts #loveistheanswer #relationshipadvice101 #happyliving #positivepsychology #mentalhealthadvice #lovelanguages #parentingadvice #gratitudepractice #pathoflife #journeyoflife #selfhelp #selfhealers

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Why me? I’m not like other life coaches. I hold a Master’s degree and Doctorate degree in clinical psychology. I practiced as a psychologist for years before switching to coaching. ⁣ ⁣ Why the switch? I wanted more freedom. Freedom to work with anyone around the world without being restricted by state rules. Freedom to help without worrying about insurance panels. Freedom to be more direct and active in changing lives. ⁣ ⁣ I have been doing this a long time. In addition to my clinical training and experience, I am a very intuitive empath which means I quickly step into someone’s energy and understand what they are feeling and thinking. I know it sounds a little out there, but I’m finally owning it. It’s what makes me effective. It’s what makes me different. It’s what works. ⁣ ⁣ So whether you ever choose to hire a life coach, work with me, or work with someone else, make sure to do your research and really get a sense of who you will be working with. What are their qualifications? Who can best guide you where you want to go?⁣ ⁣ If you think it’s me, schedule a free discovery call or send me a DM. #needachangeinmylife #changequotes #lifeistooshort #fulfilledlife #fulfillyourpurpose #bestlifequotes #makeachangeforthebetter #whatareyouwaitingfor #putyourselffirst #nowisyourtime #purposefullife #happinessahead #dontsettleforlessthanyoudeserve #dontsettleforaverage #passionandpurpose #selfcareeveryday #empathsunite #empathsofinstagram #journeyoflife #createyourownhappiness #mentalhealthdays #energyiseverything #energyhealings #raiseyourvibrations #takewhatyouneed #getwhatyouwant #lifeisnow #energywork #lifecoachingforwomen #mindsetcoachforwomen