Annastaysia's Journey

Annastaysia's Journey This page is about my MTF (male to female) transition journey. I look to treat this as a blog/journal to inform and inspire ppl about the whole process.

Everyone of you is beautiful!!!!
08/29/2022

Everyone of you is beautiful!!!!

08/18/2022

Hello beautiful souls!

Today I am grateful for a job that supports me through so much of my journey. They stepped up to the plate and never looked back. The employees treat me like I am, a woman. Nothing has changed there. Except my gender in their eyes. I am very fortunate and I feel so lucky.

Annastaysia Hope

08/17/2022

Hello beautiful people! 😍 Today I am continuing what I am grateful for.

I am grateful for each and everyone of you. Friends, family, Co Workers. People say to me, what you are doing takes so much courage and strength. Indeed it does and I know I couldn't do it without all of you. You all give me what I need and I am so thankful and blessed.

If you're apart of my journey at this time, it's because you chose to walk with me. I love the sound of that ❤️ don't you?

08/16/2022

So since my therapist appointment yesterday, I have to come up with daily things in my journal (this page) that I am grateful for. It is to try and keep me focused on the positive things and not things that might not be going my way. So I will do one thing a night.

Today I am grateful that I was able to make another appointment with a different a speech pathologist since mine scrubbed her schedule. so I feel blessed and not so stressed out.

These entries will be quite small compared to my updates. but this is an everyday thing.

08/12/2022

Hello everyone. I know it has been a few weeks since my last entry. Life has been a little all over the place. But I think it is good to get through some stuff and have more to add.

Transition has definitely found it's tough points. I am learning that thing's will not always go according to plan and for me, that is really hard to accept. I missed my 90 day check up because I contracted covid. I missed a vocal therapy appointment. I was very upset about that. My voice is so close and then things like this happen. My 90 day I was suppose to do blood work and discuss my changes. I was also going to talk about my Dr. about getting the ball rolling on my surgeries. So I had to book 3 more weeks out. So I see her this coming Monday. So I am very excited to go. I also have had issues with my therapist. The second one I had, her internship came to an end and we could not continue with one another. We were both very emotional at my last session with her. We connected so well. But I was blessed to immediately have one of the most sought after therapist's in Pittsburgh offer services. We did connect immediately and for that, I am relieved. So I now have my permanent therapist and we can get to work on many things I am experiencing. She is LGBTQ qualified and also transgender. So this is massive for me. Vocal therapy has been a s**t show. So much disappointment with that office. But I have to stay with them. Just make different appointments since my speech pathologist had to clear her schedule and my next 4 appointments. So, I have to schedule with another one. Transition can be very hard in so many aspects.

One thing I have learned is that setbacks are going to happen. Now, how you deal with them is another. It can be hard to deal with emotionally for us transgender. Many of us set timelines and goals. If goals are not met or things go backwards for us, it is emotionally draining. For us, it adds up to when we can come out and live our truth full time. If we have a set back, it means our truth gets pushed further out. Gender dysphoria is not pleasant at all! If we have to wait, out GD hits over drive and we have to live in a body that we hate in the case that we have to continue as the opposite we know we are. That in itself is extremely depressing and causes much anxiety. I am suppose to be out the middle of Sept. I am pushing hard for it. But with setbacks, it might not happen. I have to try and be prepared for that. I am ready in so many aspects and there are the ones that are key. I guess we will see.

A long with transition and its many changes, depression is a huge one. Dr.'s tell you right out of the gate to be very careful and watch for repeated mood changes. Su***de is very much a big issue among the transgender community. For many reasons it happens. One of the reasons for this is depression that develop's even in ppl that have never had an issue. Our body chemically goes through soooooo many changes. When you knock chemicals in the body out of balance and then you add in hormonal changes from meds, it can be a recipe for disaster. We know the risks we take and we weigh them with varied results. For me, I find myself with moods that are more and more low. I have never had an issue with depression or anxiety. But I don't like how it makes me feel. So on Monday when I see my Dr. , I will bring it up. Unfortunately, it is a part of the process for some.

I love transitioning. There is so much beauty to it and getting to see yourself change so much is.....its beautiful. I would never go back on my decision to transition. I have gained so much love and happiness in my life. I gained sooo much support. I already had an immense amount. I have gained lifelong friendships and connected with ppl that I have become very close with. There's so much work in it. But the rewards are breathtaking. Not many ppl get to say they have seen it from both sides. Us transgender, we get to see things that open our eyes and help us understand. So many ppl say, walk a mile in my shoes. Well we are walking a lot more then a mile sunshine!

Annastaysia

Facts!
07/19/2022

Facts!

07/18/2022

Hello lovely's! First off I would love to welcome all my new friends to my blog 😀 It has been about 2 weeks since my last post and There has definitely been progress and also a little bit a reversal. The reversal is not bad.

So I'll start with progress first. I finally got to see my vocal therapist! it has been 9 weeks since my first visit and I was starting to get frustrated because I was running out of things to practice. I was suppose to have had an appt 2 weeks ago, but they had to cancel because my speech pathologist was sick. So I went this last fri. and she was so happy with my progress and said I am much further then i should be. I have worked very hard on what she told me in my first appt. So now I work on picking a voice I like. Yes you read that correctly. She will work on that with me. Then After a month and I get it, I work on pitch and final feminizaton and I am done. So that starts this friday! yayyyyyyy!!!!!! For any of my trans female friends in here that are going this route, It is a lot of work and complete devotion. But I can guarentee you ladies, it is possible! I am about half way there.

I have my 90 day check up and blood work next Monday! I am so excited!!!! My estradiol will be doubled and thank god. With transition, there are so many up's and down's. It is a roller coaster and not just emotionally. When you start it, your s*x drive tanks amongst others. But I'll save those details lol. I ya wanna know, DM me lol. Sooooo my s*x drive did tank. But, the last week, it came back fierce! Once I am doubled on my estradiol, It'll tank again lol. I will also be getting my numbers checked and will find out a few days later how much my testosterone has gone down and how much estrogen has gone up. Fingers crossed. I will start getting the ball rolling for my FFS for my nose this year and also for my gender reaffirming surgery next year!

Everything is going sooooo fast. It is much faster than I thought that it would be. But I am greatful for it and I have my schedule now set pretty well. It is very busy but I am keeping up and have my eye firmly planted on the ball ahead of me.

Emotionally, I am a train wreck! I am so all over the place! But my friend says I should level out in around 3 months from now. So that'll set me at 6 months post HRT. I am thankful I have a wonderful therapist and also a wonderful support system that helps me in times like yesterday. I wont go into details but let me just say, ppl can be fu***ng cruel and for you ladies transitioning, be prepared for what it does to you emotionally. Support is extremely important. But all is not bad, I am embracing these deep feelings and just trying to get use to them. They are much different then mens! lol.

My body is changing by leaps and bounds. My face for sure, my skin, got b***s now and they continue to grow lol. Things are much softer then before. But this is literally just the beginning, I am only post HRT 11 weeks. So much more is going to change.

I have picked my date to come out publicly And live my truth full time in the world. That will be sept. 15th of this year. This is my final point for coming out and I am so fu***ng ready for the world to see me full time as my authentic self! I am nervous but so excited for that first step out my door. My friend is going to right there holding my hand as I do so and begin my new life. Have a lot to do in 57 days! eeeekkkkk

With Love,
Annastaysia

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Pittsburgh, PA
15147

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