Caregivers Resource Group

07/23/2025

One more day to the big event!!!

Join caregiver coach Robin Weeks and Scott Bown, CFP and Founder of Caregivers Resource Group, as we share practical guidance, clear steps, and honest talk about the dollars and sense of caregiving.

This is a FREE session.

Thursday, July 24 · 11:30am - 12:30pm EDT

You’ll learn:
✔️ How to spot hidden costs that are draining your resources
✔️ What financial documents and conversations you need to have (but probably haven’t)
✔️ Smart ways to plan ahead—without panic or guilt
✔️ Why it’s not selfish to think about your own financial future

There will be time for Q&A, and you’ll walk away feeling more confident and less alone.

Click the link below to register. And please share to someone you know will benefit by attending.

https://lnkd.in/eeQ-bGW9

This link will take you to a page that’s not on LinkedIn

07/21/2025

Join caregiver coach Robin Weeks and me as we share practical guidance, clear steps, and honest talk about the dollars and sense of caregiving. This is a FREE session.

Thursday, July 24 · 11:30am - 12:30pm EDT

You’ll learn:
✔️ How to spot hidden costs that are draining your resources
✔️ What financial documents and conversations you need to have (but probably haven’t)
✔️ Smart ways to plan ahead—without panic or guilt
✔️ Why it’s not selfish to think about your own financial future

There will be time for Q&A, and you’ll walk away feeling more confident and less alone.

Click the link below to register. And please share to someone you know will benefit by attending.

This link will take you to a page that’s not on LinkedIn

07/18/2025

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

Parents say it all the time.
But when there’s no caregiving plan, no paperwork, and no one knows what to do when crisis occurs—that phrase doesn’t mean much.

What actually creates a burden isn’t just the care itself.
It’s the confusion.
It’s the silence.
It’s the expectation that others will figure it out—without any direction or support.

If you’re likely to be the one stepping in, here’s what matters:
-No Power of Attorney, or documents no one can find
-No access to accounts, bills, or insurance
-No clear plan for care, housing, or who makes decisions
-No conversation—just vague hopes and unspoken pressure

Here’s how you get ahead of it:
✔️ Ask questions that lead somewhere. Skip “Are you prepared?” Try:
“If something happened, who should make decisions?”
“Is there a folder or list I should know about?”
✔️ Make sure documents are findable and usable. Outdated forms or locked-up legal docs don’t help anyone.
✔️ Understand how the day-to-day gets handled. You don’t need access to everything. But someone needs to know how the system works if your parent can’t manage it.
✔️ Define what help actually means. Not just “stay home as long as possible.”
What if that’s no longer safe—or doable? Then what?

And if you’re the one saying “I don’t want to be a burden”—prove it.
✔️ Get your documents in order
✔️ Tell someone where things are
✔️ Have real conversations—not just statements
✔️ Don’t assume your family will just “figure it out”

Caregiving is already hard.
But the weight multiplies when there’s no clarity, no access, and no plan.
If you want to reduce the burden—start there.

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The information provided in this content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal, or tax advice. All investment advisory services are provided through Advice Only. Further details are available in our ADV or at www.adviceonly.com.

07/17/2025

“We need a safe deposit box. Where else are we supposed to keep Dad’s important stuff?”
It’s becoming more of an issue.

The short answer?
A lot of banks don’t offer them anymore.
Some have shut down branches. Some are online-only now. Others just stopped offering boxes altogether and didn’t tell anyone until people asked.

For many folks, especially those who’ve used safe deposit boxes their whole lives, this isn’t a small thing.
It feels like losing a system they trusted. And honestly, it leaves a lot of families stuck wondering what to do next.

It’s not really about storage. It’s about feeling prepared—and still having some sense of control when everything else feels like it’s shifting.

Here’s how I break it down when families ask:
First, be clear about what you’re trying to protect.
Because not everything needs to be locked up, and some things shouldn’t be.
-Legal docs like wills and POAs? Should not be stored in a bank vault. If you can’t get to them quickly, they’re useless in an emergency.
-Passports, deeds, titles? Fine to keep at home in a fireproof box.
-Valuables or heirlooms? Depends. Are you storing them for safety—or avoiding making decisions about them?
-Passwords, account info, emergency contacts? These need just as much attention—and most families don’t have a system at all.

So what are your options now?
-If a bank box still feels right, call around. Some credit unions or regional banks still offer them. If it helps your parent feel more at ease, that’s a good enough reason to start there.
-Get a solid fireproof/waterproof box at home. One with enough space for key items, but not so hidden that no one else can find it if needed.
-Scan the documents that matter. Having digital copies won’t solve everything, but it’ll help if something happens after hours or you’re helping from a distance.
-Write down what exists and where it is. Seriously. A simple list goes a long way. Doesn’t need to be fancy—just accurate.
-Double-check who has access to legal documents. It’s not just about storing them. It’s about making sure someone else can use them when the time comes.

If your parent is stuck on the idea of needing a bank box, the box probably isn’t the point.
They just want to know their stuff is safe—and that someone will know what to do with it when the time comes.

You can meet them there.
And then help them take the next step.

Because the goal isn’t locking it all away.
It’s making sure the right things can be found, by the right people, when it matters.

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The information provided in this content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal, or tax advice. All investment advisory services are provided through Advice Only. Further details are available in our ADV or at www.adviceonly.com.

07/16/2025

“My Mom is an adult. I can’t control how she spends her money.”

Sure. But when the spending is excessive, hidden, and unsustainable—you’re not just dealing with personal choice anymore. You’re looking at a slow-moving crisis.

A family reached out about their dad. He’s in his late 70s, lives alone, and spends most of his day online.
Small purchases turned into daily deliveries, then into sending money to a much younger woman he met online. He’s already spent over $18,000.
And anytime the family brings it up, he shuts down, denies it, or gets defensive.

The problem isn’t just the money—it’s the pattern: isolation, declining judgment, and no willingness to accept help.

This stuff doesn’t always look like cognitive decline.
Sometimes it just looks like a loved one making decisions that don’t make sense anymore.

So what do you do?

Start with access.
Don’t try to take over. Start with read-only access or account alerts. Frame it as staying organized, not controlling.

Ask questions, don’t accuse.
You’ll get further by asking what they enjoy about the online interactions than by telling them it’s a scam.

Add friction.
Use prepaid cards, separate spending accounts, and daily limits. Make overspending harder without going full lockdown.

Review your POA now.
Don’t wait for a crisis. Make sure the documents are updated and understood.

Bring in someone else.
Sometimes it takes a professional—financial advisor, attorney, or doctor—to say what they won’t hear from you.

This isn’t about control.
It’s about protecting someone who may not see the risk—until it’s too late.

If your gut says something’s off, trust it.
You’re not overreacting. You’re trying to stay ahead of the damage.

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The information provided in this content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal, or tax advice. All investment advisory services are provided through Advice Only. Further details are available in our ADV or at www.adviceonly.com.

07/15/2025

“I deserve a life too.”
Someone said that to me recently, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

She’d just lost her dad. Her mom has dementia.
She’s the one handling the estate, paying the bills, answering constant calls, driving two hours every weekend, trying to hold onto her job, and quietly falling apart.

And she wasn’t asking for sympathy.
She just wanted someone to understand how hard it is to be in charge of everything when all she really wants is to have some time with her mom before more of her slips away.

That line—“I deserve a life too”—wasn’t a complaint.
It was a moment of clarity.

And the truth is, I’ve heard versions of that line from so many caregivers.
People don’t talk about how isolating it is when the people around you don’t really get what it means to be “the one.”
The one who steps in.
The one who holds the family together.
The one who never seems to get a break.

And after a while, you stop asking for one.

Here’s what I need you to know:
Wanting time for yourself doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
It doesn’t mean you’re less committed.
It means you’ve been carrying too much, for too long, and something needs to change.

Not later. Now.

That change can look like getting organized. It can look like setting boundaries. It might even mean bringing in help.
And if other people don’t understand that choice, that’s fine. They’re not the one making ten decisions a day that affect someone else’s well-being.

There’s no perfect version of caregiving. But there are better ones.
Ones that leave room for you in the process.

You didn’t ask for this role. But you still get to decide how to live your life inside of it.

And if that starts with one small realization—
That you deserve a life too—
That’s not selfish. That’s honest.

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The information provided in this content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal, or tax advice. All investment advisory services are provided through Advice Only. Further details are available in our ADV or at www.adviceonly.com.

07/14/2025

“I don’t want to seem like I’m after their money.”
Says the daughter who’s trying to be respectful, trying not to rock the boat, and genuinely trying to do the right thing.

She knows something needs to be addressed.
She’s watching care needs grow, finances get messy, paperwork go untouched.
She’s the one driving, paying, coordinating—and still, they hesitate.

Because she doesn’t want to come across the wrong way.
She doesn’t want their parents—or siblings—to think they’re being greedy or controlling.

So she avoids the conversation.

But here’s the thing… when we stay silent about the money, about the accounts, about the documents—things don’t stay peaceful.
They just get unclear.

And when something goes wrong—which it eventually does—everyone scrambles.
No one knows what’s been paid, what’s owed, what’s available, or who can legally make decisions.

I’ve seen families fall apart over this.
Not because they didn’t care—because they didn’t talk.
They didn’t want to risk the discomfort, so they took the risk of staying quiet.

Here’s what I’ve learned:
You’re not “after their money” when you bring up the plan.
You’re trying to make sure their wishes are respected, that care can actually happen, and that you’re not all drowning in uncertainty when the pressure’s already high.

These conversations are uncomfortable—but they’re also one of the most generous things you can do.

It’s not about control. It’s about clarity.
And clarity is what keeps families working together—not unraveling.

So if you’ve been holding back out of fear you’ll look like the bad guy, I get it.
But trust me—it’s a lot easier to have the talk now than to clean up the mess later.

You’re not trying to take something.
You’re trying to protect what matters.
And that’s worth speaking up about.

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The information provided in this content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal, or tax advice. All investment advisory services are provided through Advice Only. Further details are available in our ADV or at www.adviceonly.com.

07/11/2025

“It’s not my problem.”
You’ve probably heard it—usually from a parent or relative when the conversation turns to planning.

They’ll say:
“You’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t want to talk about that stuff.”
“It’s not something I’m worried about yet.”

And sure—these conversations are uncomfortable.
They bring up hard things. It can feel too early, too awkward, or just too much.

But here’s the truth:
When someone says “It’s not my problem,” what they’re really doing is making it someone else’s. Usually at the worst possible time.

It shows up like this:
-A late-night call from the ER with no paperwork in place.
-A pile of bills no one knew existed.
-Siblings arguing over what to do next—because no one had the conversation when they still could.

And suddenly, the people you care about most are stuck making high-stakes decisions with no direction—while juggling their own jobs, kids, and lives.

Not making a plan is a plan.
It just puts the hardest parts on someone else.
You don’t have to solve everything today.
But you can start by doing a few simple, practical things:
✔️ Name your decision-makers.
Who will speak for you if you can’t? Financially and medically?
Put it in writing—Power of Attorney, Healthcare Directive, and make sure they know it.
✔️ Make your basics accessible.
Where are your documents? Who knows? If someone needed to step in tomorrow, could they?
✔️ Have one real conversation.
Not a lecture. Not a meeting. Just a short, honest conversation about what matters to you, and what would make things easier for everyone.
✔️ Write down the key info.
Banking, bills, passwords, care preferences. A basic list. Doesn’t need to be perfect—just findable.

You can keep saying, “It’s not my problem.”
But it will be someone’s.
And you get to decide whether that happens with panic—or with a plan.

You don’t have to hand over control.
You just have to start talking.

That’s how you protect the people you care about.
That’s how you leave a legacy that’s rooted in clarity—not chaos.

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The information provided in this content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal, or tax advice. All investment advisory services are provided through Advice Only. Further details are available in our ADV or at www.adviceonly.com.

07/10/2025

“We’ll just sell the house if we need to.”
This comes up a lot when families start thinking about aging or long-term care.
A parent’s health starts changing, care needs begin to creep in, and someone says,
“Well, if it gets to that point… we’ll just sell the house.”

It sounds like a simple solution. But in real life, it’s anything but.

When a family leans on selling the home as the backup plan for care, it usually means there hasn’t been a real conversation—or any real planning.
They’re hoping the house will fund care or solve a problem down the road.
But they haven’t talked about when, how, or what that actually looks like.

And by the time the “need” shows up, it’s usually urgent:
A fall. A hospital stay. A sudden memory decline.
And now, decisions that should’ve been made with clarity are being made in crisis.

Here’s what people miss:

There are tax implications.
If the house has appreciated and it’s sold outside of the right window—or by someone other than the owner—there could be unexpected capital gains issues.

There are Medicaid implications.
If the house is transferred or sold too close to a Medicaid application, it can trigger penalties that delay care eligibility.
If proceeds aren’t handled the right way, they could even disqualify someone entirely.

There are family implications.
This is the one I see the most.
One sibling thinks they’re going to inherit the house.
Another thinks it should be sold and split.
Another one covered repairs and expects to be reimbursed.
And no one can find the will—or agree on whether it reflects current reality.

Suddenly the house isn’t just a house—it’s a source of stress, tension, and hurt.

So here’s the bottom line:

The home is not the plan.
It can be part of the plan, but if it’s the only thing holding your long-term care strategy together, that’s a problem.

If you’re caring for a parent—or planning for how to support them—ask the hard questions now:
-Is the house intended to fund care? Or to be passed on?
-Does everyone understand what that means, legally and financially?
-Is there a POA in place, and a clear plan for how and when to sell (or not sell)?
-Has the family actually had the same conversation—or are people assuming different things?

Because here’s the truth:
Selling a house might eventually be the right move.
But waiting until you “have to” almost always guarantees stress, loss, and conflict.

If the home is part of your caregiving plan—treat it like that.
Get clear. Get coordinated. Get it documented.

Otherwise, it’s not a plan.
It’s just a hope. And that’s not enough when real care is on the line.

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The information provided in this content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal, or tax advice. All investment advisory services are provided through Advice Only. Further details are available in our ADV or at www.adviceonly.com.

07/09/2025

If no one leads the family care strategy conversation, the crisis will.

When the crisis takes over, it doesn’t matter what your intentions were. Things get messy, fast.

Here’s the reality I see over and over again: families avoid the conversation.
-Parents don’t want to bring it up—they don’t want to feel like a burden or admit anything’s changing
-Adult kids hesitate because they don’t want to upset anyone or sound like they’re taking over
-Everyone assumes there’s more time
-And no one wants to be the one to make it awkward

So nothing gets said. And then something happens. And instead of having a plan, everyone’s guessing under pressure. Here’s what that actually looks like:

For the person who needs care:
-Decisions about where they’ll live, who will help, and what kind of care they’ll get are made without their input
-They’re moved to a place that’s available—not necessarily where they would’ve chosen
-If documents like POA aren’t in place, no one can legally step in, even if everyone’s willing
-Medicaid gets delayed because of bank account structures or missed planning windows
-Final wishes go unspoken or undocumented, and the family ends up divided over what they “think” Mom or Dad would’ve wanted

For the caregiver (usually one person by default):
-They step in with no clear authority, no roadmap, and no backup
-Their work, finances, and personal life take a hit
-They spend money out of pocket—not always knowing if they’ll be reimbursed
-Siblings question decisions or argue over what’s “fair”
-They carry the responsibility during care—and the cleanup afterward

This isn’t worst-case. This is normal when there’s no strategy.
So who should start the conversation? Simple. The person who sees the risk if it doesn’t happen. You don’t need to have everything figured out. Just open the door.

Ask the first question.
Because if no one leads the family care strategy conversation, the crisis will.
And once that starts, it stops being a plan. It becomes damage control.

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The information provided in this content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal, or tax advice. All investment advisory services are provided through Advice Only. Further details are available in our ADV or at www.adviceonly.com.

07/08/2025

“Caring for a parent who never cared for you? That’s a wound—not a weakness.”

When your history with your parent is complicated, caregiving isn’t just emotional—it comes with real financial headaches.

Here’s what often happens when those old wounds don’t get talked about:

For the caregiver:
-No Power of Attorney, so you can’t legally handle bills or decisions
-Financial info is kept private, leaving you in the dark about expenses or debts
-You end up paying out of pocket without any clear plan to get paid back
-You risk Medicaid penalties if payments aren’t documented properly
-Family fights and audits happen because nobody kept track
-Guilt pushes you to spend more than you can actually afford

For the parent:
-They don’t use benefits like Medicaid or VA help—often out of pride or mistrust
-Wills and beneficiary paperwork get forgotten or never updated, causing probate headaches later
-Bills go unpaid or get quietly overpaid
-They refuse to name who should make decisions, which slows everything down and can lead to legal battles

This guilt, pushback, and mistrust keeps everyone stuck in a loop, hoping things will get better but often falling into the same traps again.

If you don’t do something different, costs rise, income drops, legal fights happen, and relationships get torn apart.

But there are other ways:
-Hiring professional caregivers to take some pressure off
-Bringing in a mediator to clear up roles and set boundaries
-Using legal tools like trusts or guardians so caregiving and money don’t get tangled
-Getting respite care or adult day programs so caregivers can catch a break
-Looking at assisted living or shared housing to ease daily stresses

Talking honestly about the good and the hard parts of caregiving protects everyone’s feelings and finances.

On the plus side:
-You get to honor what your parent wants and ensure good care
-It’s a chance to rebuild or redefine your relationship
-You gain the legal authority to make decisions
-Caregiving can bring personal growth
-You set a positive example for your own family

On the downside:
-Old hurts come back and drain you emotionally
-Money gets tight from all the extra costs and lost income
-There’s potential for resentment from your parent or siblings
-Burnout is real without enough support
-It’s tough balancing caregiving with your own life and health

If someone needs to step back, that’s okay. Setting boundaries isn’t quitting—it’s protecting yourself.

Some options if walking away makes sense:
-Bring in paid help or use respite care
-Divide caregiving tasks instead of going it alone
-Put legal and financial protections in place
-Get mediation or counseling to keep things civil
-Write down family agreements so everyone knows who does what and who pays for what

Wounds don’t heal on their own. Silence and assumptions only make things worse.

Caregiving doesn’t break families.
Money, silence, old pain, and getting stuck—that’s what really breaks them.

Starting the conversation, setting clear roles, and putting agreements in writing can protect your family’s future and your peace of mind.

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The information provided in this content is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal, or tax advice. All investment advisory services are provided through Advice Only. Further details are available in our ADV or at www.adviceonly.com.

07/01/2025

Medicaid planning, POAs, long-term care funding—most people wait until it’s too late.

Would you rather guess through it… or get actual guidance from someone who knows the landscape?

→ Schedule your FamilyCare Strategy Session. No pitch. Just a plan.
Scan the QR code or visit this link to get started: https://bit.ly/3Gkbrk2

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Scott Bown is an Investment Advisor Representative of AdviceOnly, PBC, a Registered Investment Advisor. All investment advisory services are provided through Advice Only. Further details are available in our ADV or at www.adviceonly.com.