Surviving DV Trauma with Shania

07/04/2025

What is DARVO? Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

07/04/2025

Tools that the abusers use to abuse you.

06/09/2025

Leaving the abuser is hard, one reason is because you love them but you should leave. The question has never been if you love them. It’s “Do they love you?” Love and abuse do not co-exist. It’s the abuse cycle.

06/09/2025

If you are romanticizing someone else’s abuser, I urge you to get mental health support. Please work on loving and respecting yourself. You are, respectfully, nobody special to the abuser. Don’t assume that their last victim was the only victim. The abuser only sees you as a supply that they can get power and control from. Walk away.

05/21/2025

DV Statistics/Facts

05/12/2025

Red flags to not ignore in a relationship 💜💕💜

03/22/2025

Grounding skills for PTSD/anxiety/disassociation 💜

02/04/2025

They’re not your person. You deserve better.

01/20/2025

From one victim to another, your abuser isn’t changing. I know you’ll think they’ll change this time but they won’t. They don’t want to change and you can’t change someone who enjoys hurting you. You’re not meant to “fix” them. They don’t even want fixed. Many will tell you they want to be fixed but if they did baby, they’d be treating you better. It’s a choice they’re making to harm you.

I waited on change for over a year and that change never came.

And even if they did change, how long would that take? My therapist explained that it is going to take SEVERAL YEARS with CONSTANT GENUINE work on their end. Is it worth risking years or months of abuse and unhappiness? There is better for you out there.

01/17/2025

Breaking a trauma bond is hard and so is leaving an abuser. Here are my tips to help you leave by breaking that trauma bond. They can take awhile to break. Mine took months. The trauma bond was part of what continued to put me in increasingly violent situations. I didn’t know how to break it so I’m trying to help others break it. Breaking the trauma bond just might save your life. It saved mine.

01/17/2025

Tactics abusers use to make us think they’re great people and our “perfect partners”.

07/23/2024

Ongoing thread of DV/SA services by USA states (hopefully will also include countries at some point. All states done, feel free to add more info!

PCAR (Pennsylvania Coalition Against R~pe): https://pcar.org Legal Assistance Number: 717-901-6784
I had Konrad as my (free) lawyer and I highly recommend him. They are civil so there’s only so much they can do but I believe they can also help point people in the correct direction! He represented me for a protection order.

PA Colation Against DV: https://www.pcadv.org
717-545-6400

24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence so they can live their lives free of abuse.