05/14/2023
The day I became a mother.
This was the first time I held my baby. She had already been held and handled by a few strangers, rubbed down, dried off, suctioned, warmed under a heat lamp, had a newborn exam, took a picture with the doctor and nurse, THEN swaddled, hat placed and handed to me. They said “here you go- She’s probably hungry you should try nursing her” while everyone in the room watched me try to latch a now strange to me human to my breast. 😵💫
I was 19, scared that I would “die during childbirth” and knew little about what to expect. Very uneducated in pregnancy and birth. I laugh now, but it’s sad- I didn’t even know there was a thing called a placenta until it was time for it to be born. “I’m sorry- the what???” I had all the bells and whistles the hospital had to offer and came out on the other end shocked, alone, depressed, broken.
Fast forward two years later I had my second baby at home with midwives and had my placenta encapsulated to help prevent postpartum depression. I switched care from hospital based care to midwives at 30weeks and planned a homebirth in 8 weeks.
Fast forward about 14 years and here I am after having my 6th baby, BREECH and POSTERIOR 😎 while just my husband and I were in the room.
