Deborah Apter LCSW

I provide strategies and techniques to help you transform your life through self-compassion Private Practice in counseling and psychotherapy

Operating as usual

Photos from Deborah Apter LCSW's post 02/28/2023

Grateful for this in-person meeting with my amazing writing teacher, Darlene Frank Writing

It was a sacred moment to finally connect after meeting online. Darlene has inspired me to share my thoughts through the written word.

The delicious food and sunshine made it even better. We event went on a photo adventure searching for plants and doors. I loved it.

Traveling, learning, and good food. What more could I ask for?

Mobile uploads 01/06/2023

I love for thought...

Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you're 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written, or you didn't go swimming in those warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It's going to break your heart. Don't let this happen.
Anne Lamott


This is wonderful and important. We must remember to think this way when we can. We are all works in progress....

Just cannot post this one enough!! 🥰




I get it: sometimes you just want a cookie 🍪a slice of pizza 🍕pieces of cheesecake, etc.

But then you feel guilty about eating it, so you try to make up for it by restricting yourself for the rest of the day

This can lead to even more guilt and shame- and guess what? That cheesecake tasted amazing

But when we go to guilt and shame, it can cause us to spiral into choices that we then continue to regret

The best way to move forward comfortably with your choice: say to yourself “I wanted it, I ate it, it’s fine, it’s over and it’s really ok”.

Be mindful of subsequent choices that day and how you are making them.

Remember to be in your body: Make choices out of desire and mindfulness as best as you can and notice that choices out of guilt and shame often lead to more guilt and shame.

Save this post as a reminder to make mindful choices based on love and self-compassion.


Mindful eating is not a diet

It's a way of managing your relationship with food in a more natural way

It's a way to have food become what it's supposed to be: nourishment for the body

It's about creating balance in your life and having food bring you joy instead of stress

It's about being present and having an awareness of what you're putting into your body

Save this reminder for when you need it


There is no time like the present

Research indicates that we enjoy our food and find it more pleasurable if we are in the experience of eating.

There are many techniques to get you there

✅ Take 20 seconds and do nothing but eat
✅ Observe the experience in your mouth

By doing these two simple things, you'll start being more mindful of your food and enjoy it more.

Save these tips for later


Do you have a hard time when it comes to food?

Have any of these questions ever crossed your mind?

🧐 Why is it that I always feel like eating?

🧐 Why do I always feel this way around this food?

🧐 Why do I overeat when I am happy or sad?

Struggling with how we relate ourselves to food is so common, that most people don't even see it as an issue. So they tend to either completely avoid certain foods or the opposite- become stuck in a diet cycle replacing one bad eating habit for another.

I know this happens and I'm here to help.

My free guide: '14 days of ingredients to assist you on your journey with your food' is filled with easy-to-follow practices that will allow you to be more present at all times, making it easier for you to be mindful of what you eat.

Click here to download it ➡️


The past few years have seen a rise in the popularity of mindful eating.

This practice is about eating to purely nourish the body, but let's be honest, when we take time to slow down and pay attention to the things we're doing, we start experiencing improvement in other areas of our lives.

Mindful eating has the same effect. Here are 4 ways mindful eating can impact your life overall.

Give this practice a go by following me to learn more.


You've been eating your whole life. Are you sure you're doing it right?

I know food tastes good, but have you thought about how much better it would taste if you slowed down while you eat.

Follow the tips on my checklist to see if you're eating with awareness.

Share this post with other 'food lovers' and help them enjoy what they are eating even more.


People get so many things wrong when it comes to mindful eating. There are so many misconceptions out there, that it can be hard to truly grasp what it is.

An unfortunate side effect of this is that many people claim to practice it, but don't really know how to do so, which means not seeing the full benefits.

Mindful eating is about so much more than just food! It's about being present and aware of your body as well as your surroundings.

Learn more about mindful eating by following me.

Timeline photos 07/17/2022

This is good….


Eating mindfully isn't about having a different eating style or a diet.

It's about being more mindful of what you're putting into your body, how you feel before, during, and after meals, and how those choices affect your overall well-being.

Mindful eating is one of the easiest ways to improve your overall health and wellbeing.

If you don't know where to begin. I've got your back. Here are a few tips to help you get started.

Save this post for when you need it.


Mindful eating is an excellent habit to develop, and the benefits of doing so are endless.

By slowing down and really being with your food, you'll be able to eat healthier, enjoy better digestion, and improved metabolism.

But is not only good for the body. Your mind benefits from it as well. By practicing mindfulness when you eat, you'll be able to slow down and enjoy the process of eating, giving you a perfect moment to relax.

Stay tuned to learn more about Mindful Eating🤓

Timeline photos 06/23/2022

So true. Focus on the breath to change reduce thoughts and ground the body…



It's the first day of and there's no better way to celebrate than with a Mary Oliver poem!


Another form of acceptance and embracing what is!!!

Timeline photos 06/21/2022

This is so good. So simple and easy to follow.

Words of wisdom 💜


What a special person she was. We need to do this ….


This is so important for helpers to remember….

— Carl Jung


As I reflect on this past week and the horrific tragedy in Texas, I just can't move forward without saying something. My heart aches for the children, the adults, their families and friends and our country. Buffalo is right behind and many more. I've been in the field of mental health since 1976, practicing 42 years and what I know deep in my soul is that we need to have connection, we need to feel loved, a sense of community, a meaningful purposeful life. We also need limits, accountability, strong values and all the components that support the above.

There are the beliefs that guns are not the problem and that people who believe that are wrong. If a human being is full of cumulative unaddressed rage, they are potentially dangerous. So both points of view are correct and incorrect. Guns plus rage = what we have now and what we will continue to have. As a Jewish woman and a fellow human being, I believe that we all must live and act to change our course. We must address our mental health and those around us. We must address the types of guns that kill so many so fast. We know that Australia and Canada have seen a decline in deaths and have had success with automatic weapon control. Those countries share the "frontier" history that we share.

Does it have to get worse before it gets better? Live each day addressing this and your own mental/physical health as well as those around you as best you can. Let's change this trajectory for our children and grandchildren. I've been happy to provide mental health background checks for old and current clients wishing to purchase guns.

Thank you for reading this.


"Today was a Difficult Day," said Pooh.

There was a pause.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Piglet.

"No," said Pooh after a bit. "No, I don't think I do."

"That's okay," said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend.

"What are you doing?" asked Pooh.

"Nothing, really," said Piglet. "Only, I know what Difficult Days are like. I quite often don't feel like talking about it on my Difficult Days either.

"But goodness," continued Piglet, "Difficult Days are so much easier when you know you've got someone there for you. And I'll always be here for you, Pooh."

And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his Difficult Day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs...he thought that his best friend had never been more right."
A.A. Milne

Sending thoughts to those having a Difficult Day today and hope you have your own Piglet to sit beside you.

Timeline photos 05/17/2022

Timeline photos

SAVE this to refer to when you're struggling with this.​​​​​​​​
When you're balancing working from home and home life, things can get chaotic and overwhelming.​​​​​​​​
It is important during those times, you give yourself grace​​​​​​​​
and focus on your CIRCLE OF CONTROL.​​​​​​​​


Hello friends😊

I am pleased, honored, and excited to inform you that I am conducting a workshop for clinicians “Food As A Gateway To Transformation”.

This event is hosted by NASW NYS Chapter. It is targeting health care professionals throughout New York State who wish to develop and/or enhance their skill set in working with clients on their food issues🍜 🥙🥘

It is both experiential and didactic🤓

The class Is 3 continuing education credits for social workers and psychologists.

Please feel free to pass this message on to anyone you know who might be interested. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

I’m excited about this program!

Registration is still open, click here to join me ➡️




As we come up on the second anniversary of the pandemic, one of the biggest lessons Gabor derived from COVID19 is the indispensability of human connection. The health impacts that result from a feeling of belonging are immeasurable and a clear indicator that health is not just a physical thing, it’s a mental and social thing.

Gabor's next book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture will be out on September 13, 2022 and available for pre-order now:


so true....

Photos from Deborah Apter LCSW's post 01/25/2022

Most of our habits around our food come from our childhood👦👧

Growing up, it’s so important to develop a good relationship with food. It will not happen if you teach your kids that:

🔺There are ‘good’ foods and ‘bad’ foods
🔺They always need to finish what’s on their plate, regardless if they feel they’ve eaten enough
🔺A sweet treat like a cookie or an ice cream will make them feel better when they are having a bad day.

We all want our kids to have healthier habits than we did. But there’s a right way to do that. It starts with showing them how to listen to their bodies.

To do so, we need to work on our own relationship with food as parents.

If you don’t know where to begin, I’m here for you.

Share this information with a parent that might need it.

Photos from Deborah Apter LCSW's post 01/11/2022

Did you know that by eating mindfully you can transform your life in different ways?

Some people say we eat the way we live. Mindful Eating could be the gateway to transformation.

Because Mindful Eating is not just about the food:

It’s about:
▪️Slowing down
▪️Getting to know ourselves better, including wants, needs, and feelings

You can learn how the above concepts connect to your food choices and behaviors around your food.

How? 🧐

By signing up for Food as a Gateway to Transformation. Click here to learn more about this course ➡️


Easier said than done and sound advice!

Next time you feel the urge to correct your partner's behavior, try connecting with them first.

This means making an effort to understand our partner’s experiences, perspective, and reasoning before jumping in to correct them or “fix” what you think they’re doing wrong.

When we engage our curiosity, we may access vulnerability and emotions that deepen our connection.

The Candidly spoke with Gottman Institute Research Director Dr. Don Cole about the importance of curiosity over correction. Read more:


“Acceptance means: For now, this is what this situation, this moment, requires me to do, and so I do it willingly.” - Eckhart Tolle


Food is not only something we eat to survive, but it also gives us joy and we can feel it with all our senses.

👃You smell the chicken roasting in the oven
👂You hear the cracking of some yummy cookies
👀You see the beauty of a colorful salad
🤲You feel the texture of a creamy avocado
👅And you taste your favorite french fries

You can enjoy all the feelings and the great memories you can have with food.

By practicing mindful eating you can reconnect with that joy and pleasure of eating with all your senses.

Follow me to learn more




this is a good read...happy holidays


These are hard times for all of us. Some of us continue to have it better than others. Remember to stay in the day you are in, breathe often with awareness and focus on your gratitudes as much as possible.


Good morning. I am pleased to announce a new active presence on my FB Professional Page. Welcome!

Office: 20 North Main Street, Pittsford, New York 14534
Email: [email protected]
585-442-6290 (no texts there)
585-451-0137 (receives texts)

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The past few years have seen a rise in the popularity of mindful eating. This practice is about eating to purely nourish...




20 North Main Street
Pittsford, NY

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

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