Ira Kotlik, Psy.D.

04/18/2026

I just want to put here a very big hug 🐻🤗🤗🤗
for a woman who realizes that since she was born she never had in her vicinity any other man than those who believe women are they property, a creation for their convenience and pleasure.
for woman who realizes that her father, her brother, her husband 💔 have been forcing, using, abusing..
it is such a painful painful reality, but the first step for this to end is for it to be out in the light, voiced, known.

It is old and ugly and you must know that leaving such "fam" is at least an option for the woman in free world. For majority of women over the globe it is not the case, since ownership over woman is legalized with some places requiring to marry your 🍇 ist, child marriages and fgm.

Here in US you have all the support you need to leave, heal and rebuild. There are shelters and organizations that can help. Sooner you leave, the better.
.. and from someone who genuinely is the one to seduce her husband usually, because his love, attention, sensitivity and touch have been so healing, it became my most desired pill 🥰.. these men are also out there ...
they are medicine
These men though ask for their boundaries to be honored as well. They ask woman to know herself and voice her boundaries and never suppress your feelings to please them.
This last one ☝️ is something, I find, many women who have been raised and surrounded by abusive misogynist men do not realize!!!

I had once a young attractive man tell me how he had to end relationship with girlfriend he loved deeply, when he realized she has been sometimes pretending she wanted to have s*x, initiating and acting as if while she actually did not due to believing she must please him so that he does not leave. Later as older man he would be able to read the body signs when "feeling s*xual" is not authentic. But as young man in first serious relationship he was heartbroken and petrified. He told me "Ira, how could I have stayed?!! I would never want to be a 🍇 ist and here I could be without my knowing!! I can not trust a partner who is not honest with me. I never want to do anything my woman does not like or desire to her body or soul." Well, he did not say "her body and soul" but this is what the very beautiful person on inside and outside that he aspired to be, meant.

These men look to couple for life to build deep intimacy and family. They love women as they are. Often those who do not use make up or high heals. They love women who truly love themselves and are human.. real.. kind to their bodies.
Different men just like different women like different things. So truly 🤗💖 for everybody there is their somebody. Don't think that because of how you look or your individual personality quirks you are unlovable. It is just not true. Most of us need and want just one person, like us, to share life with.

Regardless of their visual form these men are real, warm, kind, funny. Our bodies recognize them by their deep commitment to consent. They feel when we move away or don't want to be touched and instantly honor that. They are good friends first and for the special lucky one they are her husband. They do not have to force because they are desired. If anything, they are very careful to try best they can not to invoke romantic feelings in those they do not wish to couple with.

Just know this. We can change this ancient misogynistic culture. Moving out of stories of bo***ge to horrible men and beliefs there are no others.

with love,
~ Dr. Ira
encounterland.com

03/20/2026

03/20/2026

Тот момент, когда остаются одни эпитеты,
танцы, песни и упования на то, что
при💖🌸🦄ков становится меньше,
а нормальных людей, которые слушают свое тело,
идут за сердцем и имеют качественный,
consentual s*x или его отсутствие,
как следствие здоровой любви к себе
и границам, в принципе,
будет множество 🌸💦🤞

07/24/2025

This Saturday, 14th episode will air, wrapping first season of our conversations with Dr. Norelyn.

In this episode, Dr. Ira and Dr. Norelyn discuss the toxicity of the men's sphere and red pill philosophy, emphasizing the importance of reclaiming s*xuality and intimacy. They highlight the manosphere's negative impact on men's mental health and relationships, including the 80/20 rule, which falsely claims 80% of women compete for 20% of men. They stress the need for vulnerability and self-love, urging men to seek professional help and avoid toxic communities. They also address the role of parents in protecting their children from online dangers and the importance of genuine, non-manipulative relationships. The hosts encourage listeners to engage, ask questions, and consider joining their future group coaching sessions.

If you wish to listen to all the episodes, here is the link to the first one:

1. Body: Home of the Spirit
https://youtu.be/cytczdxNVBg

In recent years few things were coming into collective awareness. Fragility and strength of human Body, as well as vast differences between how various societies and individuals treat it. It is vivid now that the attitude we adopt to the body will define how we treat it, how we treat other people's bodies, and consequently - how healthy and happy it will be.

We can not make other people treat their body or ours well. To some extent, we can put boundaries, but as we see boundaries are wiped by decisions of psychopathic people to wage war, like it happened, for example to people in Ukraine.

So what is left?

To choose to be a Lover. To decide to treat your body and body of others you interact with, with great respect, attentiveness, discipline and compassion.
To feed it well (unfortunately, still not possible for millions of people out there; Yemen, for example, has been in hunger since 2015.. the estimate is that about 85,000 children under age of 5 have died of hunger since then).
To listen to it, to pleasure it, to caress it.
It is not unimportant, it is not excessive.
This shift in attitude is necessary for Spirit to continue to thrive and prosper.

05/11/2025

🌸 New Podcast 🌸
In this weekly podcast me and Norelyn will dive into topics that we usually do not dare to touch in our daily encounters. With education and ample experience guiding couples and individuals in the quest for more joy, aliveness and understanding of self and our partners, we are very much looking forward to share and ponder together with you.

05/07/2025

Last Saturday we set with Norelyn for a casual conversation, as friends and colleagues. We recorded 47 minutes of it, talking about how we met, Norelyn coming over to Encounterland, women retreat, power of being in Nature and situation in which many women find themselves in 2025 - disconnected from themselves, their sensuality and thus, living in consent to their bodies. If you just want to dive straight into the part where we talk about loss of eros and how we go from here back home, to body as sacred temple and our desires as spiritual guides, skip to 22nd minute.

04/18/2025

Edan Zanone, Californian 12th grader, created this year this ceramic piece titled "Through rose-colored eyes". You can see it in Crocker Museum along with lots of other heart-centered creations.

This piece really moved me because it expresses what more and more of us realize - our eyes and heart cannot only absorb reality around, they also can project and manifest reality they wish to see.

So please 🙏❤️ keep dreaming that which heals your heart. Take time to bring awareness to the tender part within your chest that knows and remembers from all the times she has been human what's possible.

As I watch life speeding up and grieve the disconnection of mind from heart.. from nature.. I am also reminded that I have choice of what I do with my own body, mind and time.

03/10/2025

The truth of what women have been going through for centuries under Islam is coming out. Dripping through stories of these brave souls who finally can speak up and yet must hide the face to protect their life. This can no longer continue and we have a role to play in changing it. We at least can hold this. The reality of at least forth of the sisters on the planet.. but really so much more, have been subdued like this. What's up with guys who don't understand that you must be chosen by your dream woman and for that you must treat every one as your Godly wife - Ashera.
Just think about it - if man is God, then woman is his match - Goddess. Think of such marriage and why would the couple want to have any type of life that is different from fun, exciting, peaceful, poetic, beautiful, in good taste...
This couple would be like a free run of two dragons, rivers of energy, who feel so amazing with each other they want to ride all the way together.
See?.. this kind of love, you can not have unless you have freedom and humility.. you need to be able to dancing with each other as husband and wife. In Tandav (happy dance) of Mahadev and Mahadevi (divine couple, yin and yang, initial duo after singular female cell divides itself in two for experiencing something new).

After enduring extensive clergy ab*se at the hands of her community’s trusted imam in her own home (detailed in part 1), Layla’s family gave her as a young b...

01/21/2025

In March I will take 4 people into a special hybrid program that includes 7 sessions, 90 min each and one Encounterland swaddling retreat.

This program is designed for those who wish to rewire their bodymind in all 6 aspects of experience: s*xual, mental, emotional, spiritual, energetic and material.

After we connect to your heart's desire and vision of rebirthed self, that is aligned with life you wish to experience, we'll dedicate each week for healing trauma and empowering you in each of those aspects.

After years of working with other people and going through these processes myself, I decided to put up a program that I know now is extremely potent.

We will finish with your private retreat in beautiful Encounterland, "sealing" and celebrating with swaddling ceremony the new and liberated You.

Cost of the program is $3500 and has an option of payment plan.

I reallly want you to shine and that this will do it 🥰

01/14/2025