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Relationship Mastery for Female Entrepreneurs by Terrie Vanover, Plainfield, IL (2025)

05/15/2024

🚩 Are YOU the Red Flag in Your Relationship?🚩

Perhaps you think that you learned from your mistakes after your divorce...
But the truth is, there may be deep-rooted abandonment wounds and traumas that are starting to show up after divorce now that relationships are growing more intimate and close.

Here are 3 signs that you’re on your way to sabotaging your relationship…
📌Being defensive (Defensiveness is a trauma response that you have not recognized or learned how to disarm)
📌Shutting down when there’s conflict and miscommunication
📌You’re more concerned with what you’re getting out of the relationship than how you can contribute to a balanced relationship

You’ll continue to subconsciously sabotage any relationship until you heal those underlying abandonment wounds. (And spend years fighting and feeling unfulfilled in your relationship.)

YOU have to be the one to fill those emotional wounds and then be able to meet your partner’s needs. And you can do that by implementing specific healing exercises and actionable tools that heal those deep wounds.

If you’re the red flag and you’re ready to become a secure person so you create healthy relationships, comment ✅GREENFLAGS ✅or DM me and you’ll be sent the deets for your free resource.

10/04/2022

😈 How to Stop Anxiety from Tricking You 🤬

Anxiety is a B*$CH!

She's a liar.

She's a trickster.

But mostly, she's a THIEF….

Anxiety steals precious time with your children, your health, your self-esteem, and your joy.

Carrying around these negative emotions after divorce leads to anxiety, depression, perfectionism, compulsive disorders, and chronic pain. Divorced people have a 35% increased chance of a heart attack. You need to learn how to handle this because it can literally cost you your life!!!

You spent so many years walking on eggshells in a toxic relationship that it’s become a permanent feeling.

You spent so many years trying to guess what wouldn’t set your partner off, that you don’t know HOW to trust your own instincts anymore.

😞But darling, your anxiety is lying to you.

She’s overestimating the dangers and underestimating YOUR resourcefulness to slay them.

Don’t forget who’s the REAL BADA$$ B&€CH!

I can show you exactly HOW to heal the ROOT of your abandonment wounds and trust yourself so anxiety disappears.🙏

You CAN feel more in control and secure.

What you need now is a systematic, tangible way to be CONFIDENT AF 🔥 and strut yo’ stuff back into your next chapter!

If you want a special invite to my Healing Abandonment Masterclass, below

09/29/2022

❌Stop the Guilt for Setting Boundaries with Your Ex💪🏽
My client, Cathy had been caretaking for their ex for so long, she felt guilty for not taking care of him when she divorced.
After 17 years of her “mommying” and rescuing her husband, she had finally gotten the courage to file.
He needed her to help him find housing and she knew he needed to solve his own problems, so why did she feel so guilty about not doing all his research for the mortgage?

Her abandonment wounds caused her to develop a caretaker role in order to feel worthy. And even though the divorce was needed, her ex had unconsciously filled a void. Her void of feeling valued and that she mattered to someone. Her void was still there, so she felt uneasy and constantly second guessed herself. I showed her to consciously heal her abandonment wound so she can own her worth and follow through on her boundaries WITHOUT the guilt!.

In addition to showing her EXACTLY HOW to heal her abandonment wounds, I gave her this reframe to stop the damn guilt already.

Recognize that boundaries are healthy for others too!
When you “rescue” others, you’re not allowing them to step into their own power and their own responsibilities. You’re encouraging their growth as well as yours when you follow through on boundaries you set.

If you’re ready to stop second-guessing yourself and stop abandoning your own needs for others, below and I’ll send you an invite to a special masterclass.

11/02/2021

💥Boundaries for Badass Women is OPEN! 💥

Want to Feel Confident AF?!💪

If your people pleasing ways is keeping you from stepping into your true power, both professionally and personally, then this intensive, personalized virtual retreat is for you.

If you're ready to:

Stop apologizing and second guessing so you feel secure,
Stop putting your needs last so you don't feel taken advantage of,
Stop feeling guilty for saying NO so your needs come first,
..Step into your TRUE authentic power!

I’m scheduling VIP days with limited spots for women who want to stop the mind games in relationships, stop "shoulding" all over themselves, and start feeling worthy so they can feel AT PEACE.

If you’d like details, comment ‘ Hell Yes’ below and I’ll send you a message.

11/01/2021

Want your free tool on how to create conscious communication with your spouse? 👇🏾

10/07/2021

"I Got You, Boo!" 💗

Want to Feel More Connected and Aligned With Your Spouse Even During Times of Stress?

This simple communication exercise will help you feel more connected and aligned with your partner, especially during times of stress when the energy needed for the marriage may be compromised.

I've written a lot about how successful relationships are dynamic and are able to navigate the stresses placed upon it flexibly.

In a healthy marriage, some days the energy each spouse can give may be 40/60, other days 60/40, sometimes 70/30 or 55/45, and in the TOUGH times it might be 90/10…

Marriage isn’t always a perfect balance-it’s a delicate dance and you must be able to ebb and flow to meet each person’s need. In order for a marriage to be successful, sometimes it will require one party to step up for the other in times of need or stress.

Each partner needs to be able to rely and trust the other.

I’ve actually had clients in “modern” marriages that have taken the 50-50 rule to such an extreme that there’s no soft place to land when one of the partners needs the other.

The resentment has built up and there’s an inability to appreciate each other and give each other what is needed in the present moment.

One way to be more supportive of each other is to do what I call a "I Got You, Boo" check-in with each other, especially during times of family stress and high demanding job shifts.

Each partner estimates their level of capacity and says what they need from their partner.

During the recent Covid remote learning, I had to add on additional child responsibilities with their schooling. In order to work on my business, I had to work well into the evenings.

(After our Six Minute Re-Connection Fix)

I would say "I'm about a 30, and I need you to take care of figuring out dinner and making dinner tonight while keeping the kids out of my hair. I need to get these emails written and sent and then I'll come down for dinner."

On his stressful days after work, my hubby would say "I'm a 20. I need some space to just relax in the den. After an hour, I'll be back."

Sometimes we need to make longer term plans if there's an upcoming event or situation we need to navigate. We don't want the other to feel unsupported as they are working their goals and dreams.

But we make intentional time to discuss what our family needs throughout a long term project that may take time and energy away from each other and the family. We set out a plan, prioritize, and take away anything that will ease the stress on each other.

Soooo, how do you have each other's back?

09/07/2021

What is one way you wish your spouse supported you more in your business?

09/02/2021

😯Why The Five Love Languages SUCK at Saving Your Marriage😮

😡I can’t tell you the number of times I see people struggling in their marriage and someone will tell them to read the Five Love Languages to save their marriage.

UGH!!😡

This book speaks to addressing your partner’s unspoken needs and how partners may have differing ways of showing love. These ways include words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and gifts.💗

While the book lends some insight into getting to know your partner better, it is lacking in many ways.

🤔Here is what the book got ABSOLUTELY WRONG when a relationship is struggling:

1) It fails to address communication and conflict issues. The Gottman Institute has done extensive research on how conflict styles significantly impacts the trust in a relationship. If negative conflict styles are not changed, the chance of the relationship ending is actually very predictable.

2) It oversimplifies complex relationship dynamics. Sometimes, a relationship has dynamics with the individuals, the children, the relationship that need additional guidance. Especially, stepfamilies or families with additional stressors, such as special needs children.

3) Many people don’t recognize that a “love language” may stem from an underlying issue that needs to be addressed by the individual.

🤨 For example, I had a client come to me because her partner didn’t compliment her enough. She knew her love language was words of affirmation- but that really stemmed from being insecure. What she really needed was to address her underlying insecurities and childhood abandonment. We healed that and she no longer needed her spouse to constantly verbally affirm her.

😡Perhaps you always demand a partner’s time or compliments or attention.

And when they don’t give it to you, you feel

🔹Lonely,

🔹Insecure,

🔹Anxious,

🔹Lost,

🔹Unwanted…

🙌You can’t heal internal problems with external solutions.

🙏I teach my clients how to:

👆“Reparent” themselves, so they get what they are missing from their childhoods.

👆Use specific strategies and tools to unlearn unhealthy relationship patterns.

👆Identify the patterns from their childhood that hold them back, not only in their relationships but also professionally.

🌈You Can:

✔Stop Relying on a Partner to Make You Feel Secure

✔Feel Good on your Own

✔Overcome loneliness and Insecurity

✔Let Go of the Control and Perfectionism

✔Feel Loved Unconditionally

Want to know the 3 Keys to Creating Healthy Patterns so you can free yourself from relying on others to feel at okay?

Learning to let go of these patterns doesn’t have to take years of therapy.

If you’re an action taker and want specific strategies that will create a healthy relationship faster, this call, 3 Keys to Creating Healthy Patterns So You Can Feel Secure in Your Relationship, is for you.

If you’re ready, willing and able to commit to feeling good again, join me by clicking on the link below to sign up for the 3 Keys to Creating Healthy Patterns So You Can Feel Secure in Your Relationship phone call.

07/30/2021

It Took Me Two Years to Say Yes...😮

I met Pete in a running club.

We hit it off right away. He was SO easy to talk to.... we discussed anything and everything- our mistakes, our dreams, our fears.

I felt so at ease with him from the beginning. I could just be myself with him.

Yet, I was TERRIFIED to commit again.
But I've learned that our most devastating events lead us to where we are meant to be…

My divorce was the worst thing I ever experienced.

Add on losing my home, friends, my health, and my mom…. I really don’t know how I survived.

The pain was almost too much to bear. Some days I didn’t make it through an hour without tears.

It left me reeling, overwhelmed, and broken.

I didn’t think I could EVER open my heart again.

I didn’t think I could ever trust again.

But since then, I’ve learned that we can CREATE the love we desire.

I had to learn how to give and receive love in a whole new way.

Love doesn’t have to hold us back. A broken heart doesn’t have to be the end.

It can be the beginning.

For me, I used my divorce to finally heal.

We can use the “broken” pieces to transform into BECOMING and CREATING the love we desire.

Being vulnerable again can actually feel EXPANSIVE.

Surrendering to our vulnerability can be scary… but also the best thing because it’s where we find our strength.

Breaking down the walls wasn’t easy. There were moments I wanted to run.

But on the other side of fear is freedom…

I’m so glad I chose freedom over fear. Now I live a life of fun, adventure, and fulfillment.

💔So I'm here to tell you that there is Love After Loss…

What are you choosing in your next chapter? 🙏

07/08/2021

“Talking” About Your Problems Doesn’t Save Your Marriage😮

You have an issue with your partner…

So you think by “discussing” the issue, you’ll make them understand what they did wrong and you’ll get your feelings validated.

Instead, what ends up happening is the opposite.

Your partner gets defensive and you two begin to argue.

The argument escalates and you say things that are destructive- which further erodes the trust between you.

The original issue not only doesn’t get resolved, but you’re even further apart.

Instead of feeling closer to your partner, you end feeling resentful and even more distant.

I’m not saying that “talking” isn’t important in your marriage…

But the HOW and WHY is key.

If your point is to get your partner to take ownership of your anger, hurt and disappointment, then talking about it won’t necessarily help.

Often, talking about your problems and complaining how your partner doesn’t meet your needs creates more issues in your relationship.

Many men hear their partner’s complaint differently than how we intend it- they may feel shamed and inadequate that they disappointed you.

He may respond by shutting down.

Then you’ll feel lonelier – and the resentment grows.

The cycle continues and y’all continue to drift apart.

So you’re probably thinking, “Then how the hell do we solve our marital issues?”

There are certain times where talking about an issue is appropriate.

But the problems you THINK you’re having aren’t the REAL problems…

You need to identify the CORE of your relationship conflict and why it triggers you.

Then resolve the underlying ROOT of your unhappiness.

I show women how to get to the heart of their resentment and dis-ease in their relationship and give them the tools to bring their best self into the relationship.

On my “Get Back to Love” phone call, you’ll learn how to :

🔑Let go of resentment so you feel at peace in your relationship,
🔑Communicate in ways that can be received by your partner so you feel loved and appreciated,
🔑Create new, fun adventures with your partner so you have the friendship you desire,
🔑Have a closer, more intimate relationship so you have the companion you dreamed of

Want to know how to bring back the intimacy in your relationship?

Click the link below for a “Get Back to Love” phone call.

07/06/2021

💔5 Signs Your Wounded Inner Child Is Ruining Your Relationships😔

How do you know if your past trauma is still affecting you deeply right now?
Your wounded inner child shows up in your intimate relationships.

📍These are some signs that you may have a wounded inner child:

· You feel that there is something wrong with you, in the deepest parts of yourself.
· You have difficulty keeping healthy boundaries and saying no.
· You have a hard time letting go of things, emotions, and people.
· You feel inadequate. You second guess yourself constantly.
· You constantly criticize yourself for your supposed inadequacy.
· You’re unforgiving to yourself, others, and a perfectionist.
· You have a hard time committing and trusting.
· You have deep abandonment issues and cling to relationships, even when they are toxic.

🤞Truthfully, all of us, no matter how small or insignificant, have traumas from our past that need addressing.
Unfortunately, these unhealed traumas can ruin our intimate relationships and self-esteem.

I felt unhappy for years and sabotaged my relationships with my controlling, rigid ways.

I felt lonely even while married.

I struggled with feeling unloved, and I was the queen of holding grudges. (I now understand it was a way of protecting myself from further hurt. I was abandoned by my alcoholic biological father, sexually molested by an older boy, and bullied in school.)

✔I learned how to “reparent” my wounded inner child so I could finally feel secure and happy with myself. I learned how to love my whole self and stop looking for others to love me.
I’ve gained a level of inner peace I never thought was possible. I am a happy wife, mother, and woman.

🙌I am able to give and receive love on a deeply intimate level of connection.
Feeling good about yourself doesn’t have to take years of therapy.
I teach you how to heal your inner wounded child in a short program so that you can experience a level of love, trust, peace, and intimacy you didn’t think was possible.

👆Do you:
✔Want to feel loved so you feel connected?
✔Want to feel confident so you achieve your dreams?
✔Want to have healthy, happy relationships so you don’t second guess yourself constantly?

Want to know how to heal your inner wounded child so you can FINALLY feel at peace?
On my “How to Heal Your Wounded Child” call, I will share the 3 steps you need to find the confidence and love you deserve.

🌞Click the link below to sign up for my “How to Heal Your Wounded Child” call so I can share the specific steps for YOU so you finally feel good about yourself.🌞

07/01/2021

If You Feel “Stuck” in Your Marriage and Think Leaving is the Answer…🤨
Many people believe that that finding a new partner is the solution to their unhappy marriage.
But the sad truth is about 70% of second marriages end in divorce.
This may be surprising to you, but it’s not to me.
See, I’ve worked with people whose marriages are in crisis for years. I’ve also personally experienced divorce and created a stepfamily so I understand how difficult it is.
When someone comes to me and says they’ve fallen out of love, they usually believe it’s the other person’s fault, and they think they’ll leave and find something better.
But here’s the little detail they’re missing:
You take YOU into your next relationship.
No matter what the problems are in your current relationship, they will be there in your future relationship too, even if you are with someone else.
That’s because you take your issues from relationship to relationship. This means you will keep repeating the same painful patterns, no matter who your partner is.
In other words, you’ll never be truly at peace and happy in a relationship unless you recognize and heal your wounds FIRST.
This is the reason why people leave a marriage only to feel defeated in the next one. They keep picking new partners thinking that “this one” will make everything alright.
They start off with high hopes, only to feel stuck yet again— and this time with added stressors, such as stepkids, high conflict exes, and blending more people in a family.
Most people never resolve their own issues before getting into relationships.
When you are expecting your partner to make the relationship work, you have the recipe for resentment.
And when you’re blind to your unhealed issues, you turn to blaming your partner for your unhappiness.
💓So what’s the solution?
Work on your own happiness and heal your own self and the relationship will realign to your needs.
On my “Thrive in Your Relationship” phone call, I’ll tell you how to “reparent” yourself so you don’t feel abandoned, resentful, and unworthy deep down. I’ll tell you how to feel more aligned with your own needs and feelings so you can communicate more effectively in your relationship.
You’ll learn how to express yourself and ask for what you need in a way that can be received by your partner, because you’ll know your worth.
You’ll learn how to let go of resentment and blame in your relationship.
When you learn what you need to be more loving with yourself, you will be SO HAPPY in your marriage.
On my “Thrive In Your Relationship” call, I’ll tell you how to be your authentic self in your relationship, because you’ll be self-assured and confident.
Click the link below and we will set up a phone call to discuss how YOU can have the relationship you’ve always dreamed of….

Relationship Mastery for Female Entrepreneurs by Terrie Vanover

05/15/2024

10/04/2022

09/29/2022

11/02/2021

11/01/2021

10/07/2021

09/07/2021

09/02/2021

07/30/2021

07/08/2021

07/06/2021

07/01/2021

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