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Cali Bakker, LPC-Associate, 2121 W. Spring Creek Pkwy, Ste #209, Plano, TX (2025)

01/16/2024

I started a training class on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) today. I am excited about it! 🤓🎉 While I love bits and pieces from lots of different approaches, ACT is my overall favorite.

I'm looking forward to refreshing, honing, and learning new skills!

01/03/2024

My 2024 Word of the Year: Weave 🧵

I originally thought of “connect”, but as I began to think about ‘connect’, ‘weave’ jumped out at me waving a little flag and saying, “Let’s go!”

I’m not sure what this will look like, exactly, other than I’m using it as an excuse to finally teach myself how to weave.

I love fiber crafts. I love stories. I love ideas. All these things can be woven. I love that we’re all connected - woven into each other’s lives in different ways.

Here’s to 2024 and weave! 🎉🥂🧵💛

(I haven't drawn this in my planner yet, but I will!)

Past words of the year:
2017: light
2018: illuminate
2020: leap of faith
2021: nurture
2022: intentional
2023: rhythm

01/03/2024

My 2023 word of the year was rhythm. 💃

Have you ever chosen a word or phrase for the year? I totally recommend it. The words I’ve chosen help set goals and help me notice more in my life.

This year, I focused on rhythm. Specifically, natural rhythm, the ebbs and flows in life. It’s normal for us to experience highs and lows. Of course, the lows can be difficult. I tried to focus on their impermanence. Lows don’t last forever. But when you’re in a low, it can feel like forever, and be difficult to remember and appreciate the highs you’ve experienced and will experience again.

I spent a good portion of the year noticing my highs and lows. When I felt low, I tried to give those feelings space while gently reminding myself that these kinds of lows are temporary. This helped me appreciate the rhythm of my life and see that rhythm in other people’s lives, too.

So, about the picture I shared, I drew this in my planner and then totally chickened out on coloring it. 🙈 Honestly, drawing is something I don’t consider myself very good at, but I enjoy it, so I do it anyway. I’m a big fan of doing hobbies you enjoy even if you’re not “good” at them. 💛

Past words of the year:
2017: light
2018: illuminate
2020: leap of faith
2021: nurture
2022: intentional

(This post is for informative, educational, and fun purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice)

12/14/2023

Recently Read 📚
Faith After Doubt by Brian D. McLaren

5/5 🌟

This was a fascinating book! The stages of simplicity, complexity, perplexity, and harmony are all described well and presented with compassion and understanding. McLaren makes it clear that no stage is inherently better than another and that we need people from each stage. It can be so helpful to understand what stage you are experiencing and where other people are too.

A couple of things I appreciated so much about this book are (1) the self-reflection questions. Wow! McLaren asked insightful and potentially very helpful questions to encourage self-reflection and understanding. (2) Validation and support for asking questions.

Personally, I find myself hanging around the stages of perplexity and harmony the most. I’m on my own faith journey and this framework helped me to understand my own experiences as well as the experiences of others. I’ve talked about the stages with several of my clients as they navigate their own journey as well.

Have you read this? What did you think?

12/04/2023

Hey you - Create space for imperfection. 💛 Cali

Hey you? Hey chickadee? Hey tatertot? Hey platonic, friendly nickname? 😆 I think "tatertot" might feel most natural for me to say.

Anyway.

For many of us perfectionist champions, the holidays can be a struggle and then some. My challenge for us is to find or create a space where things don't need to be perfect.

Some examples:
🌟Presents don't have to be wrapped perfectly
🌟Reexamine the traditions you participate in - are they bringing joy?
🌟Can someone else take on one of your tasks?
🌟Skip a gathering if you don't feel like going

Choose one of the above, or your own, that would be helpful for you. Maybe you'll find you have more space for joy and time to give to what you'd really enjoy. You've got this!

Please remember:
🌱These posts are meant to be informative and fun.
🌱Social media is not a substitute for therapy. 💛

11/15/2023

Book: The Nature Fix
Author: Florence Williams
📚🤓

I love to read! Many different genres interested me, including self-help or mental wellness type books. I find them fascinating and sometimes even helpful for myself and my clients. So, why not occasionally have a little "bookstagram" moment on here?

The Nature Fix by Florence Williams was interesting and made me want to go on long walks, camp, and raft down a river. Honestly, it doesn't take much to make me want to do those things because I've had a life-long love of nature. Most of the time at least, summer in North Texas is something else entirely and I'm currently in denial that it will come back around.

Because of my love for nature and mental health, this book didn't have to "sell" anything to me. I found it fascinating and sometimes frustrating. I mean, how many studies do we need that recess and time outdoors benefit children's learning before we let them have increased time to play outdoors?? I appreciated Williams' observations and that she was willing to put herself in some of the studies to learn by experience. (I tend to test interventions and activities on myself before I introduce them to clients).

What stood out to me, was Williams' attempt to answer why and how nature helps us. There are a lot of possible answers to that question and unfortunately, can be hard to quantifiably study. One of these studies though, looked at fractals and how we respond to fractals. Our brains love them! That was something new for me to read and think about.

Something else I learned in this book: there's a job in South Korea called Forest Healing Instructor. They're a park ranger who focuses on helping guests connect to their experience in nature mentally and emotionally. I would like that job, here in the United States, please and thank you.

I'd recommend this book to anyone curious about nature and mental health, nature lovers, nature tolerators, people looking to boost their creativity, people who need some motivation to get outside more often, policy makers, city planners, and other people that make those types of decisions that can benefit or harm entire communities health.

11/06/2023

I'm happy to announce that I offer walk-and-talk sessions! Weather permitting, of course.

What is walk-and-talk? It's just like it sounds. Instead of staying inside the office, we'll take our session outside and enjoy beautiful weather and nature.

Nature can be so healing and soothing to our souls. 💚🌳🌱

I'm excited to offer this for my clients. Let's get outside! 🚶‍♀️

🌱walk-and-talk sessions are not required. They are entirely optional
🌳walk-and-talk sessions are not meant to be physical exercise.
🚶‍♀️Any questions? Feel free to ask me.

10/27/2023

Play and learning - a beautiful combo. I spent this morning with the awesome Katie and Kelsey from as well as several other wonderful counselors.

Katie and Kelsey taught a Harry Potter themed workshop that focused on activities we can use with our clients (and ourselves) to help process emotions.

We had a great time and I made slime for the first time ever. I'm hooked. I might become a full-time slime maker and part-time counselor. 😂

10/10/2023

Door upgrade! We recently moved into offices that have lovely French doors. Excellent for light, bad for HIPAA. 😆

Today, I cut and attached a window cling to help with privacy. It has a prism effect and adds some beautiful color.

For anyone curious, I had a room divider screen in front of the doors between move-in and today.

While I applied the window clings, I thought of possible mental health tie-ins I could use with clients. The beauty of broken (looking, in this case) glass, how transparent are we today, etc. ✨️🌟
Look, everything can be an object lesson for mental health. 😂

12/21/2022

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from me and the wonderful people I work with. I learn so much from them! 🎄

06/28/2022

Do you like to read books about mental health and wellness? Do you want to discuss those books and other mental health and wellness topics with others? If you answered yes, then I’ve got a group for you!

I am thrilled to announce the Mind and Soul Book Group. 📚 Join us every other Tuesday at 1 pm as we read some great, thought-provoking books and discuss why they matter, what they mean, who they apply to, and how to incorporate the information into our lives. See the flyer for more details.

We will meet in person, so this is mostly for local people. If you’re not local and interested, let me know. Maybe an online option could happen too. Everyone is welcome! 🎉

Contact me for more information or to reserve your spot.

04/05/2022

Openings available! We have some spots open if you'd like to join us.

This free class begins in just under a week and will run for 7 weeks.

Join us as we learn about discuss why kindness is so important and how we can all be a little kinder to ourselves and others. 💛

03/25/2022

NEW CLASS ALERT! 🎉

Close your eyes. Take a minute to remember a time someone was kind to you. Remember that feeling. Those warm, fuzzy, loved feelings. Okay you can open your eyes again. (Okay, maybe you kept your eyes open the whole time to read. That makes sense.)

Don't we love kindness? We love to receive kindness and many of us love to be kind. Let's get together and talk about it! Let's talk about kindness and compassion.

This seven week, FREE, class will take a look at why kindness matters to ourself and our community, ways to increase acts of kindness and compassion towards others and ourselves, and take a look at the differences between kindness and people pleasing.

Contact me if your interested.

***Please note: if you are interested in the class but not able to meet in person and/or at this time, let me know! Another time or format could easily be a possibility.***

03/23/2022

Stay tuned! Info about a kindness and compassion class COMING SOON!

03/21/2022

We have openings for this group and would love for you to join us! 🎉

Habits, Hurts, and Hangups can help you address, well, your habits, your hurts, and your hangups in a way that is kind, compassionate, and Christ-centered. This is such a wonderful topic to discuss in a class or group as we can all learn from each other and support one another.

If you have any questions about this group, feel free to contact me! I’d love to hear if you’re interested and not available at this time too.

12/23/2021

Mental Health in Media: Post 22

Ebenezer Scrooge from A Christmas Carol (any version and book)
Topic: Generosity and Gratitude

🎵“...And the worst of the worst
The most hated and cursed
Is the one that we call Scrooge.
Unkind as any
And the wrath of many
This is Ebenezer Scrooge…”🎵
(Scrooge, The Muppets, Muppet Christmas Carol)

Ebenezer Scrooge, the classic, greedy miser of Western literature and film, is also a great example of the ability to change, generosity, and the three-step recovery model in counseling.

Most of my familiarity with A Christmas Carol comes from the book by Charles Dickens, Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983), A Christmas Carol (1984, with George C. Scott), The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992), and A Christmas Carol (1999, with Sir Patrick Stewart). What version is your favorite? Do you have a go-to for the holidays?

In all versions of the story, the theme of change and generosity (and the counseling model) are very much present. Scrooge goes from someone who would rather see poor people die to “decrease the surplus population” to donating large sums to charity and taking a more active interest in his family, friends, and acquaintances.

Generosity is important for countless social, community-building reasons, but did you know it is also important to our own mental health? Giving to others can reduce stress (and blood pressure), lower depression, and even help you live longer. We tend to feel better about ourselves too. And who doesn’t love that?

The great thing about showing generosity is it doesn’t have to be in large sums of money, or any money at all. You could donate your time and service. You could say a kind word to someone and express gratitude. You can also accept generosity and gratitude from others. Giving a little of whatever you can however you can has the ability to improve your own life and the life of those around you.

Generosity and compassion are closely linked. Compassion for others and self-compassion can bring about many of the same benefits as generosity. Ebenezer Scrooge learned to be generous through compassion and it improved (and extended, I’m pretty sure) his life AND the lives of those around him.

I wanted the main part of this post to reflect the importance of generosity and the message a Christmas Carol teaches about kindness to others. As an interesting side note though: the three ghosts, past, present, and future take Scrooge on a sort of therapeutic journey.

A basic outline of therapy is to (1) gather background information, ID any issues, and understand how those issues affect you now, (2) process the feelings from the first step, grieve, and reprogram thoughts that are not helpful to you, and (3) take a different view of things, decide to change, and then change.

Do you see how the ghosts took Scrooge through those steps? The Ghost of Christmas Past, helped Scrooge (and the audience) see what led him to be the sort of man he is at the start of the story. The Ghost of Christmas Present helps Scrooge see a different way of doing things and the audience starts to see a small change in Scrooge as he changes some of his thoughts. The Ghost of Christmas Future shows Scrooge how people view his death and how others see him. Ultimately, Scrooge decides to change and takes the steps to bring about that change.

What are some ways you can practice generosity in your own life? Who, in your life, could use more compassion (including yourself)? A new year and winter (as it is in the northern hemisphere) is a great time of year to pause and take a moment to reflect on what you’d like to do differently in your life. Maybe you’d like to increase self-compassion. Or maybe communication skills. Whatever it may be, best wishes to you, may your holidays be gentle.

12/10/2021

Mental Health in Media: Post 21

Peter Banning from Hook (1991)
Topic: Reparenting/inner child work

Wednesday, December 8th, marked 30 years since Hook (1991) was released in theaters. Can you believe that? I grew up watching this movie! How is it possible that a movie I remember from my childhood is 30 years old? And All Star by Smashmouth was on the local oldies radio station?!? Time is weird.

Hook is a completely entertaining and sweet movie about Peter Pan as an adult named Peter Banning. What is one of the defining traits of a Peter Pan story? He doesn’t want to, or can’t, or won’t, grow up. So Hook is an interesting take on the question “What if Peter Pan grew up?” Contrary to the eternally young Peter Pan, Peter Banning, the adult, is as Cpt. Hook described him, “a cold selfish man who drinks too much, who’s obsessed with success, and who runs and hides from his wife and children.” While that might be a harsh assessment, we do see Peter Banning neglect his son’s baseball game and value work over time with his family. It’s portrayed in the story that his behavior of putting work over family is an established pattern, not a one-time thing.

How many of us, as we’ve grown up, lost some of our sense of childlike wonder? Do you feel unsupported or undervalued? Do you have attachment or boundary issues? Do you struggle to regulate your emotions? If so, you might benefit from reparenting yourself.

Reparenting, or learning to recognize and care for our own physical and emotional needs, and inner child work are part of a few different approaches to therapy and mental health such as internal family systems. It’s also covered very eloquently (including practical application tips!) in a book by Dr. Nicole LePera (aka .holistic.psychologist) called How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from your Patterns, and Create Yourself. There are a lot of really great layers to the discussion of inner child work and reparenting. This post is just the tip of the iceberg. If anything resonates with you from this post, I encourage you to seek out help, resources, and practice reparenting yourself.

Back to Peter Banning. In Neverland, we see Peter go through a process of rediscovering his inner child. He lets the stress and other guards he learned and put up to protect himself drop away. He realizes what he was protecting himself against (abandonment). Discovering and acknowledging the protections your younger self developed can be a helpful step in reparenting and addressing the inner child.

The inner child learns defenses and strategies to protect itself. For example, you might learn to make yourself “invisible”, overachieve, or people please. Doing those things can help get love and acceptance, which we want and need as human beings, but those examples may not be helpful and workable for us in the long run. It’s important to acknowledge this and show compassion to yourself for building these defenses, even if they no longer serve you.

Inner child work and reparenting can help you live a more balanced life as an adult. In Hook, we see Peter Banning more in tune with his family relationships and maybe make a career change (it’s implied). He did not become irresponsible or inappropriately immature, but he, as an adult, learned a balance of adult responsibilities and relationships while enjoying a sense of wonder and play again.

Have you seen Hook? What are your thoughts about inner child work or reparenting? What is your favorite telling of the story of Peter Pan?

11/12/2021

Mental Health in Media: Post 20

Pam Beesly/Pam Halpert from The Office (2005-2013)
Topic: self-directed change and growth

Confession time: I have super mixed feelings about The Office. Some of the humor made me cringe and caused way too much second-hand embarrassment for me to fully enjoy it. There were a lot of really funny and enjoyable moments too. So overall, I do enjoy the show, but oh goodness, even as I typed that sentence, I feel some of those cringey feelings. Ha!

There are so many great characters in The Office. I’d like to talk about Pam. Pam goes through some really great and realistic, attainable growth during the show. When we first meet Pam, she’s in a relationship that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, is not following her interests/dreams of using her artistic talents, and is not very assertive. By the end of the show, all of those areas have turned around for her. She is in a more equal, respectful relationship, she went to art school and incorporated her talents into her job, and even learns to be more assertive in her interactions with others.

The reason I called her growth realistic and attainable, is because I believe those types of changes can happen for all of us. Of course, we might want to change different aspects, but the good news is, we can! She didn’t go from being totally not assertive at all to being over-assertive, she made small changes along the way that helped her speak up when her drink order was wrong and communicate how she really felt to her coworkers. She even made up a new position for herself at the company which might have been a bit of a stretch to do, but for the sake of the show, we’ll go with it.

How did Pam make these changes? We see her decide that she wants to change, then practice the actions that help her make the changes (i.e. correcting her drink order). She also developed an external support system that would support and encourage her not just for he she was, but in who she wanted to become. .

We don’t know the detailed steps Pam made off-camera. Maybe she read some self-help books. Maybe she went to counseling. The main thing is that she recognized what she wanted to change and made actionable steps to work on it. This is something we can all do in our own lives. What are things you would like to change? Maybe you’d like to be more assertive or have more effective communication skills. Maybe you’d like to use your talents in different ways. I encourage us all (myself included) to check in with ourselves from time to time and see where we could grow or what we could do a little differently in order to live our best lives and grow and help those around us to do the same.

Cali Bakker, LPC-Associate

01/16/2024

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Monday	10am - 6pm
Tuesday	10am - 6pm
Wednesday	10am - 5pm
Thursday	10am - 3pm