Dba The New Life Group

10/21/2019

Years ago I met one of the people behind this idea: Ken Blanchard, one of the authors behind The One Minute Manager series. It was pretty inspiring!

Catch ’em In The Act! ~ Creating A More Positive Atmosphere
It is usually easy for most of us to identify things that we don’t like or that cause us pain. While this a very valuable survival skill, we often take for granted the things we do like. Spotlighting the positive can have a dramatic effect on behavior, especially in situations that involve others.

1. Make a list of actions, relevant to the problem you are working on, that you would like the other person(s) to do more often. Be as specific and clear as possible. You may want to think in terms of small steps in the right direction. Add to your list between now and your next conversation with your consultant or the person(s) in question.

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________
2. For each of the actions listed above, devise three responses that will let the other person(s) know that you like what they are doing. Be specific about what words you will use and about what actions you will take. Remember that communication can take many forms.

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

3. Try your ideas and record the responses to your new behavior.

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

4. If you were not satisfied with the responses you received from the other person(s), what did you try next to let them know you appreciated their original behavior?

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

10/15/2019

Check out this blog I did on Google
https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?tab=wj&blogID=7864585708369666891 /target=post;postID=3840063596259790375;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=0;src=postname

08/19/2019

The 10 Upsides of Family-Owned Businesses

Creating, building, and sustaining a family business is not only a fundamental American dream (over 20 million family businesses in the U.S.– 92% of all U.S. businesses), but is also a powerful dream in most other modern capitalist economies (for example, over 75% of all U.K. businesses are family owned). The benefits of family businesses are manifold, genuine, and in many cases psychologically profound.

Consider WIIFF (What's in it for the family). A family business:

1. Creates a heritage for the family and serves as a medium for perpetuating a family's history, traditions, pride, and core values and belief

2. Serves as a powerful testimonial to the success and potency of a family

3. Provides the ultimate career and financial safety net one’s children and grandchildren

4. Offers participating family members greater independence and control of their fate than a more traditional career path

5. Establishes a very special glue (a bonding material, as it were) that can hold a family together around a common set of interests, activities, challenges, opportunities, threats, milestones, relationships, and daily schedules

6. Demonstrates to an entire community (and various sub-communities) that this is a family to be admired and respected

7. Makes it more certain that individual family members will have the fullest opportunities as adults to “stretch“ developmentally and to self-actualize

8. Improves the chances that family members will be able to involve themselves in meaningful philanthropic activities and become pillars of their communities

9. Makes it more likely that financial advantages, non-trivial net worth (a.k.a. wealth), and “security“ will accrue to the family

10. Provides greater stability and welfare for its employees and for the community in which it operates
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some downsides:
Average life span for an FOB is less than 25 years... which just happens to be the average tenure for a founder.
• Fewer than 33% of FOBs make it to the second generation.

• Only about 15% make it to the third generation and just 3% beyond that.

• By the year 2005, virtually all FOBs will have lost their primary owner to retirement or death.

• Managing growth can be especially challenging in a family firm, and more and more FOBs are turning to psychologists versed not only in psychology but in business consulting "... because the stakes are huge in terms of passing a business along from one generation to the next." – Time, 03.17.2001

•“Successful continuity management is a complex and demanding womb-to-tomb process (literally), which requires great psychological skills and psychological finesse.”

– Mark Brenner, PhD Chairman, TGCP

How can you continue the legacy and make sure that individuals can be their own person and still benefit from the family business and culture? Do you have someone to talk to outside of the family that can help you have excellent perspective? There are many upsides to a family business as well as complications. Coaching from a Family Therapist can be an excellent way to navigate the different benefits and challenges that are inherent in a family owned business.

05/14/2019

Do you know someone with light depression, anxiety or a lack of direction in their life ? Do you or someone you know need low-cost counseling or life coaching? Our latest staff member has training in pastoral and lay counseling. She can work with adults, college students and early adolescents. Gabrielle Williams is our newest staff member. She has specific training in Family Therapy and psychology. You can contact her by email at gwilliams@southern.edu

11/08/2018

Boundaries And The Holidays + Vice President Joe On Leadership and Adversity -

Who are you responsible to and who is responsible to you? It's not about other people being responsible for your feelings or happiness and vice versa. What do you need AND what do you want? Figuring out this important difference will do much to make sure that expectations are appropriate for the hol...

10/25/2018

HOW LISTENING WELL CHANGES EVERYTHING EVEN WHEN PEOPLE ARE WRONG
by Kit Hill, Ed.D.
Director, The New Life Group, Pleasant Hill – Founding Partner & Exec. Coach – John Maxwell Team
—————————————————————

Why is listening so crucial even when you know someone is wrong?
What does this mean? Even if you have the best idea, you cannot pull it off on your own. You need your team to help execute all the elements involved. How do you get your team involved? -Listen!

Bad ideas are relevant only at the process level. But they can mean someone is making an effort. They are incredibly valuable when you look past the actual idea to the person with that idea as well as their feelings, assumptions and or beliefs.

Research shows us when people feel listened to and understood, they have a much stronger sense of purpose and investment for the next steps. They have a sense of belonging and trust that keeps their heart in the game. Keep in mind, this is true whether or not the next steps are their idea or yours. Simply by taking the time to hear what is on their mind, they will be more productive on the road forward.

Take some extra time. Let everyone express their ideas & concerns. Listen. Don’t listen to debate them, don’t negate their thoughts. Don’t defend your ideas right away. Really listen to them. Point out where they have some good insights.

Write down others’ thoughts and reactions so you can restate what they said. Go back and really empathize with what they feel and give feedback around what they think.
Once you put these suggestions in to place you will have a team that will follow your direction, not simply because they have to, but because they trust you and want to.

Do you have trouble empathizing and listening to your team? Do you need help and encouragement to listen? Coaching and practice can go along way to helping you actively listen and create an atmosphere of trust and purpose.

Cloud, H (2013) Boundaries for Leaders Results, Relationships, and Being Ridiculously in Charge, Harper Collins, Nashville, TN

10/03/2018

Are You Agile Enough To Be A Lead Dog?

The 9 Constructs Of Learning Agility That Effect Leadership

People Agility. Self-knowledge, learning from experience, treating others constructively, and being cool under pressure.

Change Agility. Curiosity, passion for ideas, experimenting with test cases and trying out skill building activities

Results Agility. Getting results under tough conditions, inspiring others to go beyond normal and inspiring others with a presence that facilitates confidence.

Mental Agility. Seeing problems from a fresh point of view and being comfortable with complexity and ambiguity while explaining their thinking to others.

Self-Awareness. Recognizing own skills, strengths, weaknesses, blind spots and hidden strengths.

Feedback Responsiveness. Soliciting and accepting personal feedback(Not necessarily agreeing with it.)
Considering it and taking corrective action.

Environmental Mindfulness. Being attentive to external surroundings and changes in roles, while not being judgmental. Being able to see the immediate and long-term issues.

Information Gathering. Keeping up on expertise areas as well as leadership through developmental courses, coaching and mentoring. Joining professional organizations.

Speed. Responding, but not reacting, to ideas quickly so non-working ideas are thrown out and other options put forward.

Leadership means dealing with pressure and change. Learning agility allows for adapting to that change in successful ways. Exercise, stretching, and coaching helps a person to be more agile as a teen: Same is true for being a leader today!

De Meuse, K. P. (2017). Learning agility: Its evolution as a psychological construct and its empirical relationship to leader success. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 69(4), 267-295.

09/17/2018

Ten Changes In Your Organization That Can Be The Root Causes Of Problems
Even as much as six months to a year later symptoms can occur that indicate that the change may not be going very well but the symptoms may not relate directly back to the change. Here are some possible changes or influences

1. Change of leaders, especially a founder.

2. Change in the personal life of a significant leader ( e.g. Boss, owner, member of the board of trustees, etc.)

3. Merger or acquisition.

4. Reorganization.

5. Relocation of plant/division or moving headquarters.

6. Creation of a new branch.

7. Decentralizing or recentralising.

8. Significant promotion or retirement of team members.

9. New competition in the field.

10. Change in laws that govern the regulation of the product or service.

Have problems but you can’t find their source? Get help identifying what’s not working and why! Get help in finding the positive too! We can help in figuring things out!

Wynne, L. C., McDaniel S H. , Weber, T. T. (1986) Systems Consultation: A New Perspective for Family Therapy, Guilford Press, NY NY

05/04/2018

“There Must Be Someway Outta Here”: Creating Real Change
Are you a professional between the ages of 40 and 55, and feel like you have lost your direction and ability to communicate at work?
Do you wake up each day dreading to go to work?
Do you “go through the motions” at work and feel like a zombie?
Do you feel like your life has no meaning?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, it is time for you to make a change.
You do not have to go through life unfulfilled and unsatisfied.
You are at the stage of life where you should be enjoying the fruits of your labors.
You should also feel the greater joy that comes from fulfilling your life’s purpose.
It is time to fulfill your destiny, and give your life meaning. It’s not too late. I know people just like you. They struggled each day to simply get out of bed and go to work. They were disgusted with their life and did not know what to do.
You can change starting today and feel better when you discover your life’s mission and or just figure out how to do it right. And, have a detailed strategy to go about accomplishing it. Some of my clients see positive results in less than two weeks. All of my clients go on to see positive changes.

03/22/2018

Leadership and Followership: Not Opposites!

A lot of the time in counseling or coaching I hear, "My boss drives me crazy!" Or I hear, " My staff drives me crazy!" What's a young consultant to do?

They both can't be right. This issue has bedeviled coaches, consultants and leadership for decades. Perhaps the best way to look at the leadership versus followership issue is to see it through a systems lens. That is to consider the whole system.

This means getting both groups to work together towards a common goal. Softball or baseball players don't necessarily work to please the manager. They and the manager work together to have fun and win games.

Sometimes, though, it seems more efficient to focus on leadership as a coach or consultant. After all good things do trickle down or so the theory goes.

Good coaching work can be accomplished by working with all parties. Like with good family therapy, real change can occur. This is not to say that we don't need character change in ourselves and participants. But it might be easier if we act on the whole system.

Jesus speaks to this issue by seeing it as a nonlinear system. He says the greatest of you must be last and that a true leader is a servant of the others. This idea has been born out in empirical research.

Here are some more ideas about followership and what it can mean in a good system.

One researcher says ‘“effective followers” have an array of positive qualities and the best followers are anything but passive sheep—they are:

1. self-motivated

2. independent problem-solvers

3. committed to the group and organization

4. courageous,

5. honest

6. credible (Kelley,1988, p. 144).

7. actively engaged and exhibit courageous conscience (Kelley, 1992)’

Chaeff,(1995)says, “Effective followership requires followers who are accountable and willing to “stand up to and for leaders”.

“He calls this courageous because followers at times will have to challenge and confront leaders with unpleasant information and critical and honest feedback. Effective followers are partners with leaders who contribute to satisfying and productive work environments by being accountable and taking a proactive approach to their role.”

‘Proactive behaviors assess the creative and deliberate ways that employees plan and act on their environment to influence, change and alter it in ways they see fit. Proactive behaviors include:

1. influence tactics (Kipnis, Schmidt, & Wilkinson, 1980),

2. feedback-seeking (Ashford & Cummings, 1985),

3. taking charge behavior (Morrison & Phelps, 1999),

4. prosocial rule-breaking (Morrison, 2006),

5. voice (Morrison & Milliken, 2000; Van Dyne & LePine, 1998)

6. influencing work structures (Parker, Wall, & Jackson, 1997)

7. personal initiative taking.’

I would like to add good employees are also good at assessing a situation and applying servant-leadership.

Integrating these various perspectives, Grant and Ashford (2008) define proactive behavior as “anticipatory action that employees take to impact themselves and/or their environments” (p. 8). They characterize it as a process “that can be applied to any set of actions through anticipating, planning, and striving to have an impact” (p. 9). It can involve either in-role or extra-role activities.’(Uhl-Bien,Riggio, Lowe, Carsten et al,2013) All this not mean being controlling or trying to be in charge. As you can see it does mean being active and assertive.

Trying to fix problems in this area may need an outside point of view. Calling on someone that can assess and work on the whole system can be really helpful.

Chaleff, I. (1995). The courageous follower: Standing up to and for our leaders. San Francisco, CA: Barrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.

Kelley, R. E. (1988). In praise of followers. Harvard Business Review, 66(6), 141–148.

Kelley, R. E. (1992). The power of followership. New York: Doubleday Business.

Uhl-Bien,M.. Riggio, R. E Lowe, K. B. Carsten, M. K. 2013 followership theory: A review and research agenda, The Leadership Quarterly · January 2013 DOI:10.1016/j.leaqua.2013.11.007