Dba The New Life Group

10/21/2019

Years ago I met one of the people behind this idea: Ken Blanchard, one of the authors behind The One Minute Manager series. It was pretty inspiring!

Catch ’em In The Act! ~ Creating A More Positive Atmosphere
It is usually easy for most of us to identify things that we don’t like or that cause us pain. While this a very valuable survival skill, we often take for granted the things we do like. Spotlighting the positive can have a dramatic effect on behavior, especially in situations that involve others.

1. Make a list of actions, relevant to the problem you are working on, that you would like the other person(s) to do more often. Be as specific and clear as possible. You may want to think in terms of small steps in the right direction. Add to your list between now and your next conversation with your consultant or the person(s) in question.

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2. For each of the actions listed above, devise three responses that will let the other person(s) know that you like what they are doing. Be specific about what words you will use and about what actions you will take. Remember that communication can take many forms.

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3. Try your ideas and record the responses to your new behavior.

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4. If you were not satisfied with the responses you received from the other person(s), what did you try next to let them know you appreciated their original behavior?

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10/15/2019

Check out this blog I did on Google
https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?tab=wj&blogID=7864585708369666891 /target=post;postID=3840063596259790375;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=0;src=postname

08/19/2019

The 10 Upsides of Family-Owned Businesses

Creating, building, and sustaining a family business is not only a fundamental American dream (over 20 million family businesses in the U.S.– 92% of all U.S. businesses), but is also a powerful dream in most other modern capitalist economies (for example, over 75% of all U.K. businesses are family owned). The benefits of family businesses are manifold, genuine, and in many cases psychologically profound.

Consider WIIFF (What's in it for the family). A family business:

1. Creates a heritage for the family and serves as a medium for perpetuating a family's history, traditions, pride, and core values and belief

2. Serves as a powerful testimonial to the success and potency of a family

3. Provides the ultimate career and financial safety net one’s children and grandchildren

4. Offers participating family members greater independence and control of their fate than a more traditional career path

5. Establishes a very special glue (a bonding material, as it were) that can hold a family together around a common set of interests, activities, challenges, opportunities, threats, milestones, relationships, and daily schedules

6. Demonstrates to an entire community (and various sub-communities) that this is a family to be admired and respected

7. Makes it more certain that individual family members will have the fullest opportunities as adults to “stretch“ developmentally and to self-actualize

8. Improves the chances that family members will be able to involve themselves in meaningful philanthropic activities and become pillars of their communities

9. Makes it more likely that financial advantages, non-trivial net worth (a.k.a. wealth), and “security“ will accrue to the family

10. Provides greater stability and welfare for its employees and for the community in which it operates
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Some downsides:
Average life span for an FOB is less than 25 years... which just happens to be the average tenure for a founder.
• Fewer than 33% of FOBs make it to the second generation.

• Only about 15% make it to the third generation and just 3% beyond that.

• By the year 2005, virtually all FOBs will have lost their primary owner to retirement or death.

• Managing growth can be especially challenging in a family firm, and more and more FOBs are turning to psychologists versed not only in psychology but in business consulting "... because the stakes are huge in terms of passing a business along from one generation to the next." – Time, 03.17.2001

•“Successful continuity management is a complex and demanding womb-to-tomb process (literally), which requires great psychological skills and psychological finesse.”

– Mark Brenner, PhD Chairman, TGCP

How can you continue the legacy and make sure that individuals can be their own person and still benefit from the family business and culture? Do you have someone to talk to outside of the family that can help you have excellent perspective? There are many upsides to a family business as well as complications. Coaching from a Family Therapist can be an excellent way to navigate the different benefits and challenges that are inherent in a family owned business.

05/14/2019

Do you know someone with light depression, anxiety or a lack of direction in their life ? Do you or someone you know need low-cost counseling or life coaching? Our latest staff member has training in pastoral and lay counseling. She can work with adults, college students and early adolescents. Gabrielle Williams is our newest staff member. She has specific training in Family Therapy and psychology. You can contact her by email at gwilliams@southern.edu

11/08/2018

Boundaries And The Holidays + Vice President Joe On Leadership and Adversity -

Who are you responsible to and who is responsible to you? It's not about other people being responsible for your feelings or happiness and vice versa. What do you need AND what do you want? Figuring out this important difference will do much to make sure that expectations are appropriate for the hol...

10/25/2018

HOW LISTENING WELL CHANGES EVERYTHING EVEN WHEN PEOPLE ARE WRONG
by Kit Hill, Ed.D.
Director, The New Life Group, Pleasant Hill – Founding Partner & Exec. Coach – John Maxwell Team
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Why is listening so crucial even when you know someone is wrong?
What does this mean? Even if you have the best idea, you cannot pull it off on your own. You need your team to help execute all the elements involved. How do you get your team involved? -Listen!

Bad ideas are relevant only at the process level. But they can mean someone is making an effort. They are incredibly valuable when you look past the actual idea to the person with that idea as well as their feelings, assumptions and or beliefs.

Research shows us when people feel listened to and understood, they have a much stronger sense of purpose and investment for the next steps. They have a sense of belonging and trust that keeps their heart in the game. Keep in mind, this is true whether or not the next steps are their idea or yours. Simply by taking the time to hear what is on their mind, they will be more productive on the road forward.

Take some extra time. Let everyone express their ideas & concerns. Listen. Don’t listen to debate them, don’t negate their thoughts. Don’t defend your ideas right away. Really listen to them. Point out where they have some good insights.

Write down others’ thoughts and reactions so you can restate what they said. Go back and really empathize with what they feel and give feedback around what they think.
Once you put these suggestions in to place you will have a team that will follow your direction, not simply because they have to, but because they trust you and want to.

Do you have trouble empathizing and listening to your team? Do you need help and encouragement to listen? Coaching and practice can go along way to helping you actively listen and create an atmosphere of trust and purpose.

Cloud, H (2013) Boundaries for Leaders Results, Relationships, and Being Ridiculously in Charge, Harper Collins, Nashville, TN

10/03/2018

Are You Agile Enough To Be A Lead Dog?

The 9 Constructs Of Learning Agility That Effect Leadership

People Agility. Self-knowledge, learning from experience, treating others constructively, and being cool under pressure.

Change Agility. Curiosity, passion for ideas, experimenting with test cases and trying out skill building activities

Results Agility. Getting results under tough conditions, inspiring others to go beyond normal and inspiring others with a presence that facilitates confidence.

Mental Agility. Seeing problems from a fresh point of view and being comfortable with complexity and ambiguity while explaining their thinking to others.

Self-Awareness. Recognizing own skills, strengths, weaknesses, blind spots and hidden strengths.

Feedback Responsiveness. Soliciting and accepting personal feedback(Not necessarily agreeing with it.)
Considering it and taking corrective action.

Environmental Mindfulness. Being attentive to external surroundings and changes in roles, while not being judgmental. Being able to see the immediate and long-term issues.

Information Gathering. Keeping up on expertise areas as well as leadership through developmental courses, coaching and mentoring. Joining professional organizations.

Speed. Responding, but not reacting, to ideas quickly so non-working ideas are thrown out and other options put forward.

Leadership means dealing with pressure and change. Learning agility allows for adapting to that change in successful ways. Exercise, stretching, and coaching helps a person to be more agile as a teen: Same is true for being a leader today!

De Meuse, K. P. (2017). Learning agility: Its evolution as a psychological construct and its empirical relationship to leader success. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 69(4), 267-295.

09/17/2018

Ten Changes In Your Organization That Can Be The Root Causes Of Problems
Even as much as six months to a year later symptoms can occur that indicate that the change may not be going very well but the symptoms may not relate directly back to the change. Here are some possible changes or influences

1. Change of leaders, especially a founder.

2. Change in the personal life of a significant leader ( e.g. Boss, owner, member of the board of trustees, etc.)

3. Merger or acquisition.

4. Reorganization.

5. Relocation of plant/division or moving headquarters.

6. Creation of a new branch.

7. Decentralizing or recentralising.

8. Significant promotion or retirement of team members.

9. New competition in the field.

10. Change in laws that govern the regulation of the product or service.

Have problems but you can’t find their source? Get help identifying what’s not working and why! Get help in finding the positive too! We can help in figuring things out!

Wynne, L. C., McDaniel S H. , Weber, T. T. (1986) Systems Consultation: A New Perspective for Family Therapy, Guilford Press, NY NY

05/04/2018

“There Must Be Someway Outta Here”: Creating Real Change
Are you a professional between the ages of 40 and 55, and feel like you have lost your direction and ability to communicate at work?
Do you wake up each day dreading to go to work?
Do you “go through the motions” at work and feel like a zombie?
Do you feel like your life has no meaning?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, it is time for you to make a change.
You do not have to go through life unfulfilled and unsatisfied.
You are at the stage of life where you should be enjoying the fruits of your labors.
You should also feel the greater joy that comes from fulfilling your life’s purpose.
It is time to fulfill your destiny, and give your life meaning. It’s not too late. I know people just like you. They struggled each day to simply get out of bed and go to work. They were disgusted with their life and did not know what to do.
You can change starting today and feel better when you discover your life’s mission and or just figure out how to do it right. And, have a detailed strategy to go about accomplishing it. Some of my clients see positive results in less than two weeks. All of my clients go on to see positive changes.

03/22/2018

Leadership and Followership: Not Opposites!

A lot of the time in counseling or coaching I hear, "My boss drives me crazy!" Or I hear, " My staff drives me crazy!" What's a young consultant to do?

They both can't be right. This issue has bedeviled coaches, consultants and leadership for decades. Perhaps the best way to look at the leadership versus followership issue is to see it through a systems lens. That is to consider the whole system.

This means getting both groups to work together towards a common goal. Softball or baseball players don't necessarily work to please the manager. They and the manager work together to have fun and win games.

Sometimes, though, it seems more efficient to focus on leadership as a coach or consultant. After all good things do trickle down or so the theory goes.

Good coaching work can be accomplished by working with all parties. Like with good family therapy, real change can occur. This is not to say that we don't need character change in ourselves and participants. But it might be easier if we act on the whole system.

Jesus speaks to this issue by seeing it as a nonlinear system. He says the greatest of you must be last and that a true leader is a servant of the others. This idea has been born out in empirical research.

Here are some more ideas about followership and what it can mean in a good system.

One researcher says ‘“effective followers” have an array of positive qualities and the best followers are anything but passive sheep—they are:

1. self-motivated

2. independent problem-solvers

3. committed to the group and organization

4. courageous,

5. honest

6. credible (Kelley,1988, p. 144).

7. actively engaged and exhibit courageous conscience (Kelley, 1992)’

Chaeff,(1995)says, “Effective followership requires followers who are accountable and willing to “stand up to and for leaders”.

“He calls this courageous because followers at times will have to challenge and confront leaders with unpleasant information and critical and honest feedback. Effective followers are partners with leaders who contribute to satisfying and productive work environments by being accountable and taking a proactive approach to their role.”

‘Proactive behaviors assess the creative and deliberate ways that employees plan and act on their environment to influence, change and alter it in ways they see fit. Proactive behaviors include:

1. influence tactics (Kipnis, Schmidt, & Wilkinson, 1980),

2. feedback-seeking (Ashford & Cummings, 1985),

3. taking charge behavior (Morrison & Phelps, 1999),

4. prosocial rule-breaking (Morrison, 2006),

5. voice (Morrison & Milliken, 2000; Van Dyne & LePine, 1998)

6. influencing work structures (Parker, Wall, & Jackson, 1997)

7. personal initiative taking.’

I would like to add good employees are also good at assessing a situation and applying servant-leadership.

Integrating these various perspectives, Grant and Ashford (2008) define proactive behavior as “anticipatory action that employees take to impact themselves and/or their environments” (p. 8). They characterize it as a process “that can be applied to any set of actions through anticipating, planning, and striving to have an impact” (p. 9). It can involve either in-role or extra-role activities.’(Uhl-Bien,Riggio, Lowe, Carsten et al,2013) All this not mean being controlling or trying to be in charge. As you can see it does mean being active and assertive.

Trying to fix problems in this area may need an outside point of view. Calling on someone that can assess and work on the whole system can be really helpful.

Chaleff, I. (1995). The courageous follower: Standing up to and for our leaders. San Francisco, CA: Barrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.

Kelley, R. E. (1988). In praise of followers. Harvard Business Review, 66(6), 141–148.

Kelley, R. E. (1992). The power of followership. New York: Doubleday Business.

Uhl-Bien,M.. Riggio, R. E Lowe, K. B. Carsten, M. K. 2013 followership theory: A review and research agenda, The Leadership Quarterly · January 2013 DOI:10.1016/j.leaqua.2013.11.007

02/07/2018

BOUNDARIES & WORK SEMINAR
Gaining Control of Your Work Life by Developing Effective Boundary Skills

The workplace can represent some unique challenges to us as we try to incorporate the essential principles of growth and character development into our personal and professional lives.

Boundaries is one of those essential elements. Without them, our work can suffer (along with other important relationships). On the other hand, effective use of boundaries while at work and at home leads to greater satisfaction and success.
This seminar addresses issues vital to making boundaries work for you.

You’ll learn:
• How to set and maintain boundaries in your workplace.

• How setting boundaries and keeping them can actually enhance your working relationships and advance your career or organization.

• How boundaries can impact and improve teamwork and reduce conflict in the workplace.

• How to achieve balance in your work and home life.
• Boundaries, dating and romance in the workplace.

• How boundaries enhance work relationships and advance careers and organizations.
• How boundaries impact and improve teamwork and reduce conflict.

• Nine keys to understanding boundaries at work.

• How to know when to quit.

• Figuring out what's your stuff and what's your Co-workers's junk.

• Learning Two Simple Little Words That Can Turn Your Boundary Issues Around On The Job.

• What to do if your being micro-managed

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When: Monday, March 5 at 6:30

Where: 140 Gregory Lane, Suite 250, Pleasant Hill

Who: Facilitated by Kit Hill, Ed.D., LMFT
The New Life Group, Pleasant Hill - 925 351 7240

Bagels & Coffee + Stimulating Discussion FREE

02/01/2018

Boundaries And Romantic Relationships



1. How boundaries can actually increase closeness?

2. " I'm in this relationship but I'm still so lonely."

3. The difference between being special together and being isolated.

4. The different types of boundaries that will help your relationship.

5. The difference between boundaries and walls.

February 5 @6:30 at The New Life Group office - 140 Gregory Lane, # 250
Pleasant Hill

Free - Refreshments Served- Facilitated by Kit Hill Ed.D. LMFT, The New Life Group

12/12/2017

Go Beyond New Year’s Resolutions……
Most people fail to realize their
potential because their dream
remains hypothetical. Put Your
Dream To the Test, a seminar developed by John Maxwell, takes your
dream from ethereal to
achievable. Learn how to
crystallize your vision and
galvanize your commitment

A Brief Interactive Seminar & Introduction to the MasterMind Group Coaching Intensive to Follow. This Seminar will help you start to See and Seize your Vision - Monday, January 8, 2008 @ 6:30 SDA Church Pleasant Hill, 800 Grayson Rd up from Gregory Lane

Free - Refreshments Served- Facilitated by Kit Hill Ed.D. LMFT, Member of the John Maxwell Team – Sponsored by The New Life Group

12/11/2017

Workshops and MasterMind Groups*
by the New Life Group & The John Maxwell Team

Our presentations are life changing. Armed with new information, our participants are enabled to make real, immediate and long term changes in their lives. With a wide variety of topics and discussion points, these seminars touch on important practical issues people struggle with every day in home, church and work life. All of these presentations can be done as Sunday Schools/Seminars classes or as work-based workshops.

The New Life Group Presentations

1) Boundaries @ Work Got a pushy boss, lazy co-worker or hostile work environment? How about trouble with other teams, difficulty with deadlines or too much work and not enough joy in your work life? Learn to set limits at work even if you’re not in charge.

2) Changes That Heal. Based on the best selling book, this presentation looks at the emotional, cognitive and spiritual developmental journey we all take and where we get stuck in time finding ourselves sometimes unable to move forward.

3) Safe People. “She’s so irresponsible!”, “He abandons me when things get tough”, “She’s so critical and judgmental” and the list goes on. This seminar answers the tough questions such as: How do you deal with people who drive you nuts? How do you know who is safe and who is not? What do you do if someone is not safe?

4) Boundaries. One of our most popular topics. Answers questions like, “Can I set limits and still be a compassionate person?”, “What if someone is hurt by my boundaries?” “How do I answer someone who wants my time, energy, love or money?” “What are my real responsibilities in a relationship?” Learn how to set boundaries and how to say “No” and “Yes” with confidence.

5) Group Vision, Mission and Goals. It is hard to move forward without a plan, a map or a compass. Vision, Mission and Goal (VMG) work creates a plan that takes into account the groups original purpose for being, its development over time and it current and future direction. Feel energized again! Feel like a team again! Look forward to being with your team members and realize dreams you never thought possible.

6) Father Wound, Father Blessing. Based on the work of David Stoop and the wise counsel of James L. Moog, MA. LMFT, this seminar helps take on the effect of your father in your life to help you develop and challenge yourself to become the more assertive, find your calling and fulfill your dreams. It also helps heal the wound that dad sometimes leaves and brings peace to those who have a absentee/distant father or no father at all.

7) How To Deal With Anger In Yourself & Others. “Fire” is the best analogy for this emotion. It can be our friend or our foe. It is our foe if it blows up on us or others and creates chaos or unnecessary harm. It can be our friend if it we learn what it means and where it comes from. Learn the four precursors of anger. Learn how to get control of your anger. Learn how to work with anger in others.

8) The Five Communication Styles. Know The “Blamer”, the “Placater”, the “Leveler”, The “Computer”, and the “Distracter”. Know how to avoid four out of the five of these and really communicate and understand yourself and others in a whole new way.

9) The Workplace Skills Series
a) Managing Emotions in the Workplace Based on Daniel Goleman’s Book Emotional Intelligence at Work, this workshop helps participants learn how to:

• Recognize how their emotions affect their work behavior and performance.
• Assess their own emotional strengths and limitations.
• Assess work experiences and identify areas where they wish to do things differently.
• Respond to challenging work situations with appropriate empathy and listening skills.
• Participants learn these behaviors through a combination of lecture, analysis of popular movies, case studies, and practice exercises.

b) How to Create a Positive Work Environment
We have all worked in places where we grew to hate getting up in the morning. And a few of us have had the pleasure of working for a boss who made us feel like we could do anything. Through lecture, group discussion, practice exercises, and analysis of popular movies, participants will learn specific ways to make their workplace a more positive place by motivating and reinforcing their coworkers

c) Balancing Work and Family
In the aftermath of the downsized 1990s, most people report heavier workloads and increased expectations at work. It is becoming more and more difficult for many people to meet the obligations of both work and home. Through a series of exercises and group discussions, participants evaluate their own work/family situations, learning skills to simplify life and regain balance.

d) How to Give Constructive Performance Feedback
An important part of being a manager is giving employees constructive, specific feedback about their job performance. Unfortunately, many employees never know whether they are doing their jobs properly because feedback is communicated ineffectively. In this workshop, participants will Learn five basic steps of giving an employee specific performance feedback. Skills will be developed through lecture, demonstration, and a variety of practice exercises.

The following workshops are also available for your Business Team:
a) Career Crash
b) Does Your Company Need Family Therapy?
c) Take Charge Of Your Life: Plan Your Best Year Yet
d) Manage Your Stress
e) Managing Conflict at Work
f) The Art of Effective Communication.

The John Maxwell Presentations

Leadership Gold: We venerate great leaders, and we have the tendency to assume their accomplishments came about regardless of the assistance they received from others. The truth, however, is that no leader would be great without the support and help of teammates. As a leader, you will never get ahead until your people are behind you. People will summarize your life in one sentence. Pick it now.

Put Your Dreams to the Test: Your Dream has Power. It can inspire you, it can empower you. But will it reward you? A dream is . . . an inspiring picture of the future that energizes your mind, will and emotions; empowering you to do everything you can to achieve it. A genuine dream is a picture and blueprint of a person’s Purpose and Potential.
Becoming a Person of Influence: Practical and easy principles to apply to everyday life:
- Managers will see their employees respond with new enthusiasm
- Parents will connect with their children on a deeper level
- Coaches will see players blossom
- Pastors will reach more people
- Salespeople will break records
Whatever your vocation or aspiration, you can increase your impact on others by becoming a person of influence. Learn simple, insightful ways to interact more positively with others, and watch your personal and organizational success go off the charts.

Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: Connecting increases your influence in every situation. If you can connect with others--one-on-one, in groups, and with an audience--your sense of community improves, your ability to create teamwork increases, and your influence skyrockets. People who connect with others have better relationships, experience less conflict, and get more things done than those who cannot connect. Leaders who have learned the art of connection are able to communicate their ideas persuasively, establishing buy-in and attracting followers.

How to be a REAL Success: Develop the ability to work with People. People are inspired by and desire to be like great leaders yet become overwhelmed by the perceived knowledge needed to learn the skill of leadership. To become a real success . . . it is imperative to relate to others better as you understand relational rules; equip others with the proper skill sets; improve your attitude through daily practices; and lead others successfully to where you have gone and beyond.

*Presentations are in workshop formats. MasterMind Group Coaching Intensives involving practical and supportive interaction are available for most of these workshops

12/04/2017

CA STATE MFTI/ASW/PCI REGISTERED INTERNS
MAKE AN IMPACT!
A CLINIC ASSOCIATED WITH
NEW LIFE IS LOOKING FOR YOU
In Walnut Creek/Pleasant Hill

IDEAL CANDIDATES WILL HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING OF NEW LIFE’S PHILOSOPHY, GOOD CLINICAL SKILLS AND A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR

CONTACT KIT HILL, EDD, LMFT @ 925 351 7240 OR AT
KITHILLEDDLMFT@LIVE.COM
THIS A PAID POSITION