Magickal Yew, Port Saint Lucie, FL (2025)

02/13/2024

You can't love someone else until you love yourself.
-an old cliche

It's not exactly true. You can very easily love someone else, even if you dislike yourself. We have all done that at some point.

But what kind of relationship does that leave us in?

Perhaps we give too much and take too little - because we're afraid to keep anything for ourselves.
Perhaps we take too much and give too little - because we're afraid of not having enough.
Perhaps we keep secrets - because we're afraid of someone seeing who we "really" are.
Perhaps we overshare - because we're afraid of being misunderstood.
Perhaps we behave jealously - because we're afraid of being left behind.
Perhaps we behave with apathy - because what we don't feel can't hurt us.

Perhaps we don't even realise we're carrying these unconscious fears with us.

A relationship based on fear will eventually become tumultuous.

But what happens when we love ourselves?

Our give and take remains in balance because we know that we cannot fill another cup if our cup is empty, and we know to only take what is offered.
Our capacity for honesty with others is heightened because we are honest with ourselves.
Our personal love satiates us, because we are no longer seeking external validation, everything we need comes from within.

And if you're reading this and thinking - I just don't know if I can love myself that way - to you, I say, it starts with the smallest of acts. There's nothing to lose by trying.

Don't forget that you are very loved.

Image text: When I love myself, everything works well for me.

02/02/2024

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
Mahatma Gandhi

It seems counterintuitive, but it's absolutely true: when you want to see a change in others, you must first look within and make those changes within yourself.

"I'll stop being argumentative when he does!"
"I'll change my attitude if she does!"
"I'll lower my voice if they do!"

Why are we all waiting? And what exactly are we waiting for? Why do we allow the behaviour of others to influence our behaviour?

It's my belief that we should behave according to our heart. In practical terms, that would mean - if I want someone to stop yelling at me, the first thing I do is stop yelling at them. If they start yelling, I refuse to be reactive and continue to speak calmly. Yes, it takes tremendous patience. I think it's worth it. I think you're worth it.

"But I'm tired of always being the bigger person! They should apologise to me, not the other way around!"

It's not about being the bigger person. It's about being true to yourself.

Could it be that you're tired of waiting for others to tell you that you're right or for another kind of external validation? Or perhaps, you're tired of being the one to "fix everything"? Or, could it be that you're so angry that you don't even know what will make you feel better?

Perhaps it's time to release all of that. The need to be right, the need to be validated, the need to constantly fix, mend, and repair. And all the resentment that comes with it.

Because if you're constantly fixing, mending, repairing, apologising, and harbouring anger and resentment... When do you get to live? When do you get to enjoy the company of your loved ones?

If our thoughts become our reality, wouldn't we want our reality to be free of all that? Wouldn't we want our reality to be joyous and beautiful?

The world is what we make it. Let's make it a place filled with grace, kindness, compassion, and empathy. A place we can be proud of. A place we love being.
Image text: the world is what we make it.

01/30/2024

When was the last time you quieted your mind enough to hear your Soul's voice?

We spend a lot of time worrying about other people. We live in a society that demands us to be on call 24/7.

Every call. Every email. Every text. Every push notification. Every appointment. Every meeting. There is a tremendous amount of pressure to perform. Someone is with you every moment of every day. We carry the world with us in our pockets and bags.

I find it ironic that in a society where everyone has access to everyone, every hour of every day, so many of us are terribly lonely. Feelings of isolation and loneliness have become a universal truth in an age when we are more connected than ever before in human history.

We're so caught up in appearances, we've forgotten why we're performing. More importantly, we've forgotten how to stop performing and simply be.

According to a quick Google search:

Slow deep breathing for five minutes has been shown to reduce blood pressure and heart rate in people who practice it.

And

A five minute meditation provides an opportunity to reduce stress, increase focus and productivity, and improve mindfulness — enabling us to be more fully present throughout the rest of our activities.

Are you worth spending 5 minutes of your time on?
I think so.
I hope you think so too.

Don't forget, you are loved.

Image text: When I listen to my Soul I find all the answers I need.

01/28/2024

It's not always easy to accept yourself as you are. Especially, if you, like most of us, get caught up in believing you're not living up to your potential.

We all have idealised (and demonised) versions of ourselves in our minds. Most people don't want to believe that they are capable of harm, especially towards their loved ones. But it's often our loved ones who are hurt most by our words and actions. Most suffer in silence, leaving us content to believe that our words and actions are justified. This is why self reflection is a most vital tool.

It's important to see ourselves as we truly are, warts and all. Perfection should never be our goal; it's unattainable, and we'd be setting ourselves up for failure if we tried. Instead, we should be working towards consistent self-improvement. We should be able to look in the mirror and say: I love you. And really mean it!

Accept yourself as you are today, even the unsavoury parts. Then worry about tomorrow.

Don't forget: You are whole. You are complete. You are loved.

Image text: The more I accept myself as I am, the more room I create in my heart and mind for peace.

01/27/2024

What does your path look like?

Each of us faces unique struggles, but that does not mean we have to face them alone. We are community creatures, despite the fact that we are growing further and further apart as a people.

Loneliness might make us feel as though we have no one in the world. Shame might tell us that we deserve to be alone because we're "too much" or "not enough". Independence might tell us that we don't need anyone else. Fear might tell us to push others away before they get the chance to push us away. But these are just a small section in the choir of voices we all carry within us. Our negative emotions don't have to control us. We can choose to be driven by our compassion and ambition, rather than our fears.

The truth is: you are loved and embraced by so many people. You have the ability to touch the hearts of strangers with your compassion and empathy. You have the ability to uplift your friends and family with your kindness and insight. It's human nature to forget all the good and focus on the negative.

You are filled with beauty and grace that you willingly gift. We are all so afraid of being perceived as selfish that our give and take balance is deeply skewed. Some of us give too much while our own cups are empty. And some of us take too much because we aren't able to feel and see just how full we are.

Don't forget that you are beautiful. Don't forget that you are here to take part in and enjoy life. Don't forget that community is a good thing. Don't forget that joy can be found in the most unexpected places. Don't forget that you are loved.

And don't forget to save some of your grace for yourself while you climb the mountain.

Image text:

“There are hundreds of paths up the mountain, all leading to the same place, so it doesn’t matter which path you take. The only person wasting time is the one who runs around the mountain, telling everyone that his or her path is wrong.’’

Hindu Proverb

Magickal Yew

02/13/2024

02/02/2024

01/30/2024

01/28/2024

01/27/2024

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