Lion's Light Holistic Therapy and Coaching LLC

12/15/2025

Calm feels dangerous when your nervous system grew up on alarms. If your history taught you that love arrives with whiplash, that peace is just the pause before impact, then stillness won’t feel safe. It reads as threat. So you stir the water. You pick the fight, overload your schedule, sabotage the quiet, and call it “momentum.” It isn’t momentum. It’s your biology hunting for what it knows.

Chaos is efficient. It keeps you busy enough to avoid intimacy, success, and the slow, clean honesty of a regulated life. It gives you something to manage so you don’t have to feel what’s underneath. And because you’re competent, you look heroic doing it. People even praise you for “handling so much.” They don’t see the cost. You barely do either.

Here’s the tell: when things finally start working, do you create a new emergency? When love feels steady, do you poke it until it bleeds? When money stabilizes, do you “invest” in a mess you knew better than to touch? That isn’t fate. That’s familiarity.

You won’t outthink this pattern. You have to retrain it. Start small. Let one part of your life be easy on purpose. Notice the pull to complicate it. Don’t. Breathe through the itch. Ten seconds. Then thirty. Then two minutes. Teach your body that quiet isn’t the enemy. Teach your mind that the absence of crisis isn’t the absence of life.

Let things work.

Let calm stay long enough to change you.

12/15/2025

You’re not sabotaging yourself. You’re protecting yourself.

What looks like procrastination, avoidance, or inconsistency is usually your nervous system saying, “We’ve been hurt here before.” That’s not failure. That’s memory.

People call it “self-sabotage” because they don’t understand how the unconscious works. You can’t force your system to chase a future it still associates with danger.

The same pattern that once kept you alive now keeps you from taking risks. The same walls that block love were built when love meant pain. What you call resistance might actually be loyalty—to an old identity that swore never to get hurt again.

So you punish yourself. You label it laziness or fear of success. You double down on strategy, affirmations, and discipline. But you can’t out-plan a survival response.

You don’t need more willpower. You need to stop mistaking self-protection for weakness and start giving those defenses a new job.

The work isn’t about fixing the pattern. It’s about retraining it.

12/14/2025

Projection is how the mind dodges accountability without breaking a sweat. You feel something you can’t tolerate, so you staple it to someone else and call it “their issue.” You can only do this for so long until trust corrodes, intimacy dies, and people start walking away.

Here’s the quiet tell: the trait you can’t stand in others is usually the trait you won’t admit lives in you. The “selfish” friend who finally set a boundary. The “arrogant” colleague who stopped apologizing for being competent. The “needy” partner who asked for clarity you never give. Notice how judgment spikes exactly where your integrity thins.

Projection is efficient. It keeps your self-image clean while you outsource your shadow. It also freezes your growth. You can’t evolve from what you refuse to name. And the body knows the truth. That’s why your chest tightens and your voice sharpens when you talk about them. You’re arguing with yourself, and losing.

Pull the mirror closer. Where do you do the thing you condemn? Where do you manipulate with silence, perform humility to avoid risk, or use niceness as a weapon? Say it without theatrics. Then choose a different move in real time.

Today, take one judgment you’re certain about and translate it into an I-statement. “They never commit” becomes “I avoid making clear decisions.” Now act against it.

Make the decision. Keep the promise. Set the boundary, or admit you won’t and stop lying.

Owning the projection doesn’t make you wrong. It makes you accountable.

12/14/2025

Boundaries and walls are not the same thing. Boundaries define the rules of engagement and what respect looks like. Walls sever the connection altogether. Both can sound like no, but they carry different intent.

A wall cuts contact to avoid vulnerability and accountability. A boundary defines how interaction continues while maintaining respect. Walls feel absolute and self-protective. They keep you in control, but nothing genuine can get through.

Boundaries create structure without shutting the connection down. When they’re set, maintained, and observed, they make respect mutual instead of one-sided.

Most of what people call “boundaries” are just power plays wrapped in self-help language. You’re not setting limits, you’re issuing ultimatums you don’t enforce. “If you do that again, I’m done.” Then they do, and you stay. That moment teaches your system one thing: your talk is cheap. That’s not self-respect. That’s insecurity masquerading as strength.

Integrity means your actions match your words. When they don’t, your unconscious mind stops trusting you. Every time you announce a consequence and don’t follow through, your unconscious stops taking you seriously.

Keep it simple. Identify the behavior. State what you’ll do. Follow through with firmness, not fire. “If you raise your voice, I’ll pause the conversation and continue when we can speak calmly.” Then do exactly that.

12/13/2025

Every so often, a message comes through that reminds me exactly why I do this work.

“I feel freed — no longer hindered or stunted by worry or anxiety. My grip on the past has totally loosened.”

True transformation isn’t about forcing change — it’s about releasing what was never really you.

When the unconscious lets go, freedom follows.

This client is on her 9th of 12 sessions. I REALLY love what I do.

I also have a gift for you. 🎁
My free ebook "3 Reasons You're Still Struggling With Your Past Even After All That Therapy and Shadow Work".

🔗 freefromyourpast.com/hvg

Ready for change?

12/13/2025

Being numb to your emotions doesn’t mean you’re “calm.” It means you’re disconnected from your emotions.

You learned early that feeling made you look weak and hurt too much, so you shut them off.

You confuse not feeling with not hurting. You didn’t evolve—you just stopped feeling.

Suppressing your feelings isn’t the same thing as regulating them.

12/12/2025

Surface fixes never touch the part of you that keeps everything repeating.

If your triggers keep showing up after journaling, therapy, or mindset work, it’s not a failure. It’s the nature of the tools. They work on the conscious mind while the real patterns live deeper, in the part of you that decides your reactions before you ever think about them.

Real change doesn’t happen by coping more efficiently. It happens when the system underneath the behavior is rewired, the one that’s been running silently for decades.

If you’re tired of watching the same internal patterns resurface in different forms, it’s time to work where those patterns are actually built.

When you’re ready for resolution instead of maintenance, you know where to find me.

12/12/2025

People wait for readiness like it’s a train they can hear coming. It isn’t. It’s a story the mind tells to stall the body.

Readiness isn’t a prerequisite. It’s a byproduct. The brain wants guarantees, proof, and a signed note from the future. That’s not how anything real begins. Things start because you moved while uncertain and taught your system it won’t die from trying.

Perfection dresses up as “preparation.” You gather books, binge courses, tweak the plan for the fifteenth time. You call it responsibility. It’s fear in a collared shirt. You don’t need more data. You need contact with reality.

Action clarifies. Movement regulates. One small, public commitment collapses a hundred private doubts. Send the email. Make the ask. Publish the post you keep “polishing.” Book the conversation you keep postponing because “the timing isn’t right.” Timing becomes right when you step into it.
Will you make mistakes? Yes. Good. Mistakes mean you’re learning through contact, not theory. Will people judge? Yes. Good. Let their opinions expose where you’re still rented out to approval.

Stop worshiping readiness. Build evidence of it. Move first.

Confidence will catch up later.

12/12/2025

You listen so closely to everyone else’s problems, you forget what silence sounds like. You pour advice into people who never actually change. You call it being supportive, but you’re really avoiding your own discomfort by fixing theirs. How's that working for you?

12/11/2025

Louder for the people in the back.

I’m glad you’re here. 🫶✨

12/11/2025

Surface solutions don’t touch the parts of you that actually run your life.

If you’re still getting hit by the same triggers after years of therapy, coaching, or mindset work, it’s not because you’re stubborn. It’s because most methods only work on what you can see. They never reach the unconscious architecture that keeps recreating the same reactions.

My work goes into that level. I work with high-functioning people who look put together on the outside but are tired of carrying the same internal weight. We track the real drivers: the belief structures, the survival responses, the emotional charge your system has been holding for decades.

This isn’t about coping. It’s about changing the part of you that makes coping necessary.

If you want resolution instead of maintenance, you know where to find me.

12/11/2025

Everyone wants transformation, until it starts feeling like death. And it does feel like death—because it is. Not the death of your body, but of the identity that kept you alive when you didn’t know who you were yet.

That’s the part no one warns you about. You’ll pray for change, then grieve when it shows up, because it won’t just take your pain. It’ll take the version of you who built their life around surviving it.

People say they want to be “reborn.” What they don’t realize is that rebirth requires a funeral. The ego you’ve spent years defending doesn’t just hand over the keys. It fights, bargains, and panics. It calls the new you dangerous, arrogant, ungrateful, and fake. Anything to keep the old story intact.

That’s the moment most people run back to comfort. They start explaining their pain again, romanticizing their patterns, finding safety in old language. Because the known pain feels easier than the unknown peace.

But death is the price of rebirth. You can’t bring your old self into a new timeline. You can’t build freedom with the same identity that was designed to survive captivity.

So when it starts to feel like everything you thought you were is slipping away, don’t fight it. That’s not failure. That’s emergence.
You’re not falling apart. You’re shedding the skin that couldn’t hold you anymore.

Let it die.