Dave Shinoda, LMFT

04/02/2022

This is a very good trauma informed take on what we saw at the Oscars. Includes Jada’s strong nonverbal reaction as the “little t” trigger to activate Will’s “Big T” reaction. In turn Chris Rock’s reaction was also trauma informed as he went to “fawn” to avoid further punishment. Gives me pause to find a scapegoat here and makes me want to look inside as I reflect on my own reaction to the incident and better understand how trauma has shaped my own bad choices.

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

11/29/2021

“Some parents may find comfort in the parentification of their kids – or emotionally relying on their children regarding adult matters. (The Encyclopedia of Adolescence found that 1.4 million children in the U.S. between the ages of 8 and 18 reported feeling “parentified.") But it can be damaging to kids.”

"You're so mature for your age." People who were forced to grow up due to childhood trauma share their stories.

09/24/2021

“Chicago Tribune’s Denise Crosby, writing about succeeding generations, says, “Auctioneers and appraisers, junk haulers and moving companies all seem to be echoing the same thing: The market is flooded with baby boomer rejects. And they cite a number of reasons our kids are turning down the possessions we so generously offer to them. They rent rather than own, live in smaller spaces, collect more digital than physical items, and tend to put their money toward experiences rather than things.”

There is a psychology built on what each generation considers important.

09/22/2021

“To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God's grace means.”― Brennan Manning

08/11/2021

Big T, Little t

Tuesday thoughts

05/29/2021

The moral of this is that you never know what may or may not have an impact on others. There have been studies done in my field—mental health—where therapists imagine that what had the most impact on a particular client was that carefully crafted interpretation they made about their mother in a particular session. Ask the client, and what they recall having the most impact was the way the therapist looked when they talked about their abuse, or that they offered to help jump their car when they found that their car battery had died.

... and what makes these rosy memories pop up now.

04/15/2021

“Yoga’s most immediate and largest benefit appears to be increased awareness and attention to bodily sensations and internal states.”

So you're not a "10" in every which way. But you're probably pretty spectacular in some way, and definitely good enough in most areas of life. If ever there were a time to stop beating yourself up for being human, it is now.

04/05/2021

“Good therapy is a collaborative experience between the therapist and the client, and there is a lot you can do to get the most from your experience.”

7. Don't be afraid to give feedback.

01/15/2021

Some insights from Bandy X. Lee who first called attention to the damage done by Trump’s ongoing abuse in the book The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump published four years ago.

"... the relationship between Trump and his supporters is an abusive one.... When the mind is hijacked for the benefit of the abuser, it becomes no longer a matter of presenting facts or appealing to logic.”

Forensic psychiatrist Bandy X. Lee explains the outgoing president’s pathological appeal and how to wean people from it

12/14/2020

“The only effective way to put an end to verbal abuse is to call out the abuser each time they strike.”

It won't work with everyone, but then there's always Plan B.

11/15/2020

How people handle loss makes a difference. Denial and anger are two of the stages of grief. People who get stranded there do irreparable damage to themselves and others. Taking the opportunity to grieve and moving through the sadness and towards acceptance is essential for personal health and for the good others.

10/12/2020

I have been learning how the trauma my parents endured in the Internment Camps has impacted my own life. This continues to explain things I could never quite put my finger on like times when I will respond with more anxiety or anger than is called for. “Psychic legacies are often passed on through unconscious cues or affective messages that flow between child and adult. Sometimes anxiety falls from one generation to the next through stories told."