04/20/2024
2019 a few months postpartum after my surrogacy. 2023 last summer after working as a doula *over* full time for 4 years. While I was a surrogate I suffered severe Hyperemesis Graviduram. For many months I was bed bound + needed IV fluids multiple times because I couldn’t hold down food or water. My postpartum experience was difficult because I was so nutritionally depleted, I had extreme fear of food + my digestive system has just never been the same. At only a couple months postpartum I went right back into doula work, Peony Doula Co. grew faster than I ever expected it. These past few years I really pushed myself past the limits a body should go. Sleep deprivation + the doula schedule really just exacerbated my digestive issues + my meal skipping. I started losing my hair, I lost my menstrual cycle + I got diagnosed with ADHD even though my psychiatrist thinks my symptoms are related to sleep deprivation. Although I weight myself backward on the scale at the doctor’s office… they did alert me I was gaining 15 pounds a month, which is unheard of for someone who is under-eating. I knew something extreme was happening considering I had to constantly buy new clothes going from a medium to 3x in a short time period. I truly believe in health at every size… but it’s still really scary to look in the mirror + not recognize your face. As a q***r person it’s been really difficult to watch my chest size grow. I was suppose to get a gastric sleeve in June. I was given wegovy but never took it. I considered these options not even thinking about weight loss, but I was scared + wanted to stop the extreme rapid gaining. These past few months I taken a huge step back from doula work + started eating more regularly. My body is starting to go back to where it’s healthy. I got my menstrual cycle back + had two whole tampons this cycle! I hope to have more bleeding as time goes on.🤞I’ve been having more good days than bad digestive issues wise. I started an ADHD medication to get me over this hump while I catch up on sleep. I’m probably always going to be fat + curvy, that’s ok! But I have started to fit into my old clothes again like magic, I feel really good about that! 🪄
