Family to Family Counseling Services

28/12/2021

Tuesday
December-28-2021

You don't have to accept every negative thought that crosses your mind as truth. One way to deal with your negative thoughts is to see if there's any evidence that contradicts them.

Thoughts will come and go. Having negative thoughts is a natural human tendency. While you can't eliminate negative thoughts, you can change the way you react to them.

Remember that most thoughts are just stories that our mind creates in response to the experiences that we have. We can choose the thoughts we want to give our power to.


Before engaging with a thought, ask yourself, "does this thought create peace or stress?"

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08/02/2021

February 08, 2021

You can't go back in time to change what has happened. Let it go. Work towards forgiving the people, the situation, and yourself. Forgiveness is not about excusing what happened. It is about prioritizing your peace, so you can be content in the present. Forgiving frees you from feelings of resentment and blame. By holding on to resentment, you prolong suffering. You allow that situation or person to continue controlling your feelings. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness and take back control of your emotions. Invite love to heal your suffering. You deserve to move on.

Quote from Daily Motivation.

13/01/2021

Sometimes, silence is the best reaction. Even if you react, there's no guarantee that it will change anything. It won't instantly change people into something they are not. Sometimes it's better to just let things be. No matter what you do or say, some people just won't get it. Drop your expectations of others. Your life will get so much better if you stop reacting to every single thing that's bothering you. Prioritize your inner peace more than being right all the time.

From Support@dailymotivation.com

05/08/2020

Hope everyone is doing well. We are open for Zoom sessions if anyone is interested.

10/09/2019

This may be of interest to people. No charge. Healing work.

24/05/2019

05/04/2019

Begin where you are!

03/01/2019

Well said.

03/12/2018

Elizabeth Gilbert - There’s a crack (or cracks) in everyone…that’s how the light of God gets in.

12/11/2017

Take a deep breath when you pause.

15/04/2016

Continued-

Everyone has core beliefs. These are the values that are important to us. Unfortunately, if you were shamed, yours were developed and shaped by the negative and disrespectful messages you received from the people who hurt and demeaned you. These messages communicated in a clear and powerful way to you, even up to the present, that you, as a human being, are defective, inadequate, powerless, incompetent, unlovable and alone. Being put down, ridiculed, or ignored by others gave you the message that you didn't really "count" and that you were unimportant and of little value. This does not help you feel very good about yourself, and it has the potential to create anger and even rage at times. (from The Shame-Rage Connection: D Decker)

25/03/2016

These distortions and lies became your vision for how you look at yourself and how you related to the world around you. They became the roles that you took on and played in your life over the years to the present. Essentially, what happened in this process is that someone else wrote a Life Script (or contract) for you. You did not really have the opportunity to figure out who you actually were and wanted to be. This contract is based on a set of Unrealistic, Distorted, and Rigid Core Beliefs. These are the rules and values you attempt to live by: what you expect from yourself, other people, and the world around you. (D Decker)

06/03/2016

Cont: Shame Rage Connection-

Think back to things that were said to you. Do any of the examples below sound familiar?

"Hey fat boy."
"How can you be so stupid?"
"You never could do anything right."
"If you think it's so bad here, wait til you get out in the real world"
"You are a damn loser and you'll never amount to anything"
"You have ruined my life"
"Nobody could ever care about someone like you"
"If it weren't for you, I'd be somebody"
"I wish you had never been born"

These are the kinds of statements that destroy self-esteem and self-respect and set the stage for shame to overwhelm your sense of self. Abuse can come in the form of verbal, emotional or physical. If were treated like an object rather than a person with human dignity, YOU were affected. (D Decker)

01/03/2016

These wounds might have been created by your parents, if they were abusive and neglectful. They could have been created by your siblings or other children, if you were demeaned and put down by them. They might have been created by teachers or coaches, if you were humiliated in school or disciplined in a punishing way. Or they could have been created by others, even perfect strangers, who treated you disrespectfully and acted as if you were insignificant and had no worth. (decker)

22/02/2016

When you experience and internalize others' shaming, punishing, and demeaning messages, toxic shame is created. It becomes your way of looking at yourself, other people, and the world around you. It also becomes a way of actually living your life that has, at its foundation, control, perfectionism, blame, reactivity, cynicism, despair, and stagnation. Shame is often initially created when you were hurt and wounded by people who were important to you in some way. (dd)

20/02/2016

But there is an alternative. And the first step in moving beyond your shame is to understand what shame is and how it affects your day-to-day life. If you don't understand what shame is, there is no way to begin to change it.

Everyone experiences some shame just through the process of growing up. Being smaller, less skilled, and not knowing as much as your parents, older siblings, and others creates a sense of shame; you're not as effective and knowledgeable as some of the people around you. In a nurturing loving, and safe environment, however, this helps you develop a realistic appraisal of yourself: you are not perfect and you do not know everything. This realization leads ideally to a sense of humility.

But that is not what I am addressing here. Rather, what I am talking about is TOXIC SHAME, an overwhelming belief and feeling that you are never quite good enough. This belief, for many people, creates enormous tension and the anger and rage that can go along with it. (decker)