Olde Port Counseling, PLLC

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United States
Portsmouth, NH
Olde Port Counseling, PLLC

Healing relationships, connecting families, and empowering change. Services are offered both in person and online.

Olde Port Counseling, PLLC is a collection of therapists working toward the same goal: serving the community to better the lives and relationships of families on the seacoast. We offer an array of child and adolescent therapy, family therapy, couple and marital, and individual counseling to uncover the issues that contribute to problems and help you obtain the vision you always wanted for your family.

03/18/2026

Behind many behavior struggles for kids is simply a decision-making problem.

Kids are going to make bad choices. That isn't a failure; that is exactly how they learn about the world. But when a decision doesn't work out, they need a framework to help them process what happened so they don't repeat the exact same mistake.

Biologically, children do not have the hardware to make rational, measured decisions when they are upset. Their brain's alarm system triggers before their logic center even has a chance to boot up. The gap between feeling an emotion and taking an action is almost zero.

Punishing an impulsive behavior might stop it in the moment, but it only communicates: "Don't do that." It completely fails to teach them what to actually do instead.

Building your child's mental fitness requires teaching them exactly how to process a decision before they act on it. "Stop, Think, Plan, Do" is the cognitive tool that builds that exact muscle.

1️⃣ Stop: Hit the brakes. Take a breath. Interrupt the physical reaction.
2️⃣ Think: Identify the problem and brainstorm the options.
3️⃣ Plan: Pick the best option and define the very next step.
4️⃣ Do: Take the action.

At first, you will have to walk them through this out loud, every single time. It will feel repetitive. But every time you do, you are helping them build the neural pathways they need to eventually do it themselves.

Tired of managing the meltdowns alone? Link in bio to schedule a session with our team to build your family's mental fitness.

03/16/2026

The calendar is never going to magically clear out.

We are incredibly good at convincing ourselves that our exhaustion is just temporary. We tell ourselves we just need to get through this week, this project, or this specific season of life.

But if you are always operating at maximum capacity, the burnout isn't a phase. It is a pattern.

Waiting for life to suddenly give you a break is not a valid mental health strategy. You have to learn how to operate within the chaos without letting it consume you. Therapy is where you identify the patterns keeping you exhausted and learn the actual, practical skills to change them.

You deserve a routine that you don't constantly need to escape from.

Ready to get some of your bandwidth back? Link in bio to schedule a session with our team.

03/11/2026

Your boundaries aren't working because you are using them on the wrong person.

Building your mental fitness means learning how to flex the right muscles in your relationships. But most of us are using the wrong tools. We use the word "boundary" to try and manage other people's behavior so we don't have to feel uncomfortable.

"You need to stop asking me for favors."
"You have to text me back sooner."

Those aren't boundaries. Those are rules. And trying to enforce rules on other adults is an exhausting, losing battle.

A real boundary is the property line—the exact space where you end and they begin. It is about your action, not theirs. It isn't about changing what they do; it's about defining what you will do.

Without mental fitness, we tend to swing to extremes. We become a sponge, absorbing everyone else's demands and building quiet resentment. Or we become a wall, shutting everyone out and mistaking isolation for independence.

The goal is to build a filter.

Stop trying to control their side of the property line. Shift from "You" to "I." State your limit, take the action to enforce it, and let them be upset. Their reaction belongs to them.

Ready to stop feeling stretched too thin? Let's rebuild that property line. Link in bio to schedule a session with our team.

03/09/2026

It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else. It only has to make sense to you.

There is a habit we fall into when we make a change, set a boundary, or choose a different direction: we build a case. We gather evidence, construct arguments, and prepare a verbal presentation, hoping that if we explain it perfectly, no one will be upset with us.

We try to build consensus around our own life choices.

But you do not owe anyone a presentation on why you are doing what you are doing. The urge to over-explain is usually just anxiety masking itself as communication. We want everyone to agree with our decisions, so we don't have to feel guilty about them.

Building mental fitness means learning to tolerate the discomfort of someone else's confusion. You don't need a jury to validate your decisions.

Let people be confused. Let them misunderstand your motives. That friction is often the price of admission for living a life that actually fits you.

Your choices only need to work for the person living them.

Need help building the confidence to trust your own compass? Link in bio to schedule a session with our team.

03/04/2026

When we rush in to stop a sibling argument, we think we are parenting.

Actually, you may be interrupting the learning process..

Relationships are a cycle of rupture (fight) and repair (resolution).

When you impose the solution, you steal the repair.

The Fix:
Acknowledge the struggle ("You both want the same thing"), express confidence ("I bet you can figure this out"), and then leave the room.

It will be messy.
But the mess is where the skill is built.

Link in bio for parenting support.

03/02/2026

Hi, I’m Kate! 👋

I am a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW) here at Olde Port Counseling.

My work centers on Trauma-Informed Care and Attachment.

Whether you are preparing to bring a life into the world, or trying to help a teenager navigate their own world, the goal is the same: To create a Secure Base.

Here is how I help families in the Seacoast area:

🤰 The Foundation (Perinatal & Pregnancy):
I support expectant mothers as they navigate the complex emotions of pregnancy, helping to build the attachment bond before the baby even arrives.

🧸 The Translator (Ages 0-5):
Using Child-Parent Psychotherapy and Circle of Security, I help parents decode "big behaviors" in little ones. We move past the tantrums to understand the emotional need underneath.

🎒 The Anchor (Adolescents & Teens):
The teenage years are full of storms—anxiety, depression, and self-image struggles. I provide a safe space for teens to unpack those feelings so they don't have to carry them alone.

You don't have to have all the answers.
You just need the right support to help you find them.

I am currently accepting new clients.

Link in bio to schedule an intake.

02/25/2026

You are keeping the fire alive.

We tend to think of emotions as weather events—storms that happen to us and stick around for days.

The reality is most daily emotions are short-term chemical events.

Your body wants to process the stress and return to baseline. It's a process that takes about a minute and a half.

The reason you are still mad at 5:00 PM about something that happened at 9:00 AM?

You kept hitting the "Replay" button.

Every time you retell the story in your head, you dump fresh chemicals into your system.

The Fix?
Feel the wave. Let it break. But don't throw more wood on the fire.

02/23/2026

You aren't broken. You just have friction.

We often mistake "struggle" for "grit." We think that if it feels hard, it means we are working hard.

But here is the reality check:
If you are driving with the parking brake on, pushing harder doesn't make you faster. It just burns out the engine.

You are still getting to work. You are still hitting your goals. You are still "functioning."
But you are exhausted by the time you arrive.

Therapy isn't about fixing a totaled car.
It is about releasing the brake so the high-performance engine you already have can actually do its job.

Imagine how fast you could go if you weren't fighting your own resistance?

Let’s find out.
Link in bio to schedule.

02/18/2026

Are you broadcasting on the wrong station?

Mental Fitness Tune-Up: Vol. 2

The biggest mistake couples make isn't a lack of effort. It's a lack of translation.

We naturally give love the way we prefer to receive it. It’s our default setting.

The Reality Check: If your partner needs Words of Affirmation, your acts of service (cleaning, fixing, planning) might be landing on deaf ears. They don't see "love." They just see you doing chores.

The Tool: The Platinum Rule. Don't treat them how you want to be treated. Treat them how they want to be treated.

Your assignment: Speaking a foreign love language feels awkward. It takes conscious effort. That is the point. Stop focusing on what feels natural to you, and start focusing on what lands with them.

What language does your partner speak?

02/16/2026

Have you updated your map in your relationship?

We tend to treat marriage like a diploma. We did the work, we got the paper, and now we can hang it on the wall.

But marriage isn't a diploma. It is a garden.

And the plants in that garden are constantly changing.

The person you said "I do" to years ago has gone through grief, career changes, parenting stress, aging, and personal growth. They are not the same person.

If you are trying to love the 2016 version of them, you are loving a memory.

You have to keep dating. You have to keep playing. You have to keep asking new questions.

Don't settle for "knowing" who they were. Be curious about who they are becoming.

02/11/2026

Do the math.

We tend to think that a "good" relationship means zero conflict.

The Mental Fitness Reality: Conflict is inevitable. Bankruptcy is optional.

Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that the happiest couples aren't the ones who never fight. They are the ones with enough "money in the bank" to afford the conflict.

The 5:1 Rule: For every negative interaction, you need five positive ones to maintain the bond.

How to hit your reps this week: It’s not about the big Valentine's Day dinner (though please, for your own safety, do not forget Saturday). It’s about the micro-deposits:

Notice the small things.

Put the phone down when they talk.

Laugh at their bad joke.

Say "thank you" for the coffee.

Build the cushion.

02/09/2026

Clarity is a love language.

With Valentine's Day coming up, there is a lot of pressure to have the "perfect" moment without having to ask for it.

But real intimacy isn't about guessing games. It's about being brave enough to let your partner in.

When you ask for what you need, whether it's quality time, a specific gesture, or just a quiet night in, you aren't ruining the magic.

You are building a bridge.

You are making it easy for the person who loves you to make you happy.

Be brave enough to say it out loud this week.

Address

406 The Hill
Portsmouth, NH
03801

Website

http://www.oldeportcounseling.com/, http://linktr.ee/olde_port_counseling

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