05/17/2024
As parents, we wish each day is full of sunshine, rainbows, smiles, and green lights. More often than not, itās game on and prepare for battle, right? I know you are doing your best, yet, often times, parents still feel simply inadequate to do the job set before us. And, if your child has a diagnosis of ADHD, your job as a parent may seem even more daunting.
For example, your child may be running wild when you have told them to go to bed five times (this number seems more like a hundred). Or, you have already heard from your childās teacher twice this semester about your childās inability to keep still and focus in class. The bottom line is we only want our children to be happy and healthy, and it can be extremely hard to feel like giving our all is not enough.
I want you to know that you are not alone and there is a way to get through the battle you feel as though you are in. To do this, we have to start seeing our children from a different light and try to work with our childās diagnosis of ADHD. To do this, here are some tips for parenting a child with a diagnosis of ADHD:
1) Involvement. Commit to being involved in your childās life. We can never forget in our day-to-day lives how important we are to our children. This may seem extremely simple, but, with all of our responsibilities, it can seem like there is simply a lack of time. Make sure to make time for your child everyday, even if it is only five to ten minutes of undivided attention.
2) Encouragement. Have you ever sat there for over an hour trying to get your child to do and/or finish their homework? Needless to say, you may have felt that you were at the end of your rope. It is easy at this point to get frustrated, to yell, or to threaten your child (yes.. it happens!). However, please remember that your child is frustrated, too. They are not having difficulty focusing to efforts to frustrate you or to make your life harder. And, quite frankly, getting frustrated at this time is only going to make matters worse. Do your best to remain confident in your childās ability to get their homework done and encourage any small positive act from your child. When you see your child frustrated with him or herself or the situation, this is a great time to encourage/reinforce!
3) Structure. Create structure and rhythm in their life. Have a certain time each day they sit down to do their homework, a certain time they eat dinner, and a specific bed time. You can even use clocks and timers. Place a daily schedule on the fridge or where your child will see it often.
4) Environment. Your childās environment is crucial, and it is even more so if your child has a diagnosis of ADHD. If homework is often a battle, create a peaceful environment for your child to do their homework with the least amount of distractions. Also, use the environment to your advantage when using it with your childās daily schedule. Every day, when it is time for your child to do their homework, make sure the homework is done in their homework area.
5) Positive Self-Talk. As a counselor, I cannot tell you how big of an effect our thoughts have on ALL areas of our lives. And, usually, we donāt even realize that we are thinking negatively, much less that these thoughts are getting in the way of meeting our full potential. So, it is important that we watch our own thoughts and teach our children the same. Teach them to think positively about themselves and their abilities. Teach them to think, āI CAN finish my homework and do well on my test,ā āI AM smart,ā and āI CAN do anything I want to do in life.ā Telling them these things is wonderful (we should do this, too), but teaching them to think this way is our even bigger goal.
6) Clear, Consistent Rules. We talked about this in our discipline blog, but donāt forget to make sure your child understands the rules ahead of time, and that you are being clear and consistent. It is even a good idea to write the rules down and place them where your child can see them daily. Ask yourselfā¦ what are the expectations and what are the consequences for not complying? If they vary, chances are, you are not being consistent which causes confusion.
7) Movement and Sleep. Encourage movement. This is a way to work with your childās diagnosis of ADHD instead of against it. Let your child spend time outside running and playing. This will help them to sleep well, and both sleep and exercise will help their focus and concentration. Also, encourage organized sports. This will increase movement while also teaching them focus and concentration.
š Diet. Your childās diet is crucial to their mental state. Diet alone can increase or decrease concentration. There are TONS of research on ADHD diet out there!
9) Reward System. Reward your child with praise and activity versus food and toys. Have a constant reward system set up where you place gold stars on a chart when your child does something positive. Place the chart where your child can see visible reminders of their successes. Create a system where they get a reward when they get a certain number of stars each week. This one is very simple yet effective!
10) Faith. Always have faith in your childās ability to succeed and do what you ask of them.
