Dr. Lauren Barnes, LMFT

08/22/2025

08/22/2025

Having a happy marriage isn’t always about what you’re doing…a lot of times it’s about what you’re NOT doing.

It’s the everyday small connections that build a strong marriage foundation. Intentional time spent together, intentional touch and communicating openly about what you’re feeling and wanting in a relationship.

Often holding unkind things inside because when you really think about it, it doesn’t really matter anyway.

Your partner isn’t a mind reader. Sometimes you need to be very specific and clear about what you’re feeling and needing.

08/22/2025

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08/22/2025

08/12/2025

Your body allows so much!! It is a living, sensing, connecting vessel for you.

🤗 Hugging somebody you love and feel safe with triggers your body to release oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” increasing closeness and trust.

💓 Safe, nurturing touch can lower blood pressure, calm your heart rate, and even boost your immune system.

👫Physical connection helps ease loneliness and reminds us we belong.

🧘‍♂You don’t need to change your body to feel connected. You just need to notice it.

07/22/2025

07/22/2025

Your kids and your partner are watching. They learn what’s “acceptable” based on your response to anger, conflict, and not getting your way.

Our kids especially look to us for regulation, order, and structure in moments when - for lack of a better term - all hell breaks loose.

I saw this recently.

My son was having an absolute MONSTER of a meltdown.

Now, I could yell, overpower him, lock him in his room.

I could also do the “gentle parenting” of the soothing voice…. Which, let’s be honest, doesn’t work worth a damn when they’ve lost their damn mind.

Or, I can focus on my own nervous system.

Breath, stay grounded. Feet planted firmly. Creating order. Re-affirming where the boundaries are with his behaviours and what will and won’t be tolerated… in a loving yet firm way.

Now, I don’t ALWAYS get this right with my son, wife, friends, or family.

But i’ve worked damn hard to and get it right a hell of a lot more than I used to, and likely more than the average person.

I say all this because your ability to ground and regulate your nervous system builds the frame work for your kids, and teaches your partner where you stand.

[ ](https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/mantalks/) [ ](https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/nervoussystemregulation/) [ ](https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/growth/)

07/22/2025

🌀 Your mental health deserves the same tenderness you give to everyone else.

💬 Start by noticing your inner dialogue.
Is it kind?
Or is it quietly tearing you down?

⛅ Interrupt the spirals.
Say no when you mean no.
Ask for help when you need it.

🌿 You’re allowed to take up space.
To rest.
To move.
To check in with your body like it’s an old friend.

Caring for your mental health isn’t selfish—it’s the blueprint for showing up in your life fully.

Visit https://cal.mn/mental-health for 6 ways to prioritize your mental health.

07/22/2025

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