Doula Jackie

Doula Jackie Postpartum Doula for Pueblo West, CO and Pueblo County, CO

03/09/2026

“I Won’t Hold Your Baby

…unless you ask me to, in which case, I will snuggle and cuddle your baby as much as you want me to.

I never ask my clients if I can hold their baby. In fact, I rarely ever touch my client’s baby if I can help it. Sounds sort of like the opposite of what you might picture of a doula, right? We must all be birth crazy, baby obsessed women who just want to cover babies in kisses and love and get an emotional high from attending births?

Not this doula.

I LOVE attending births. Call me crazy, but getting those middle of the night calls is one of my favorite parts of this job. I get to listen to someone at their most vulnerable times - the excitement, the hesitation, the nervousness of the unknown. Being able to provide some comfort, reassurance and continuity of care to the people I work with is so important to me (and them!)

Rushing off in the night, quietly getting myself ready, getting in the car and heading off to their home or hospital makes me feel like I’m on a secret birth mission that nobody around me knows about. When I arrive I fall as seamlessly as I can into the rhythm of the birth and start supporting my clients in whatever way they need most.

When the baby arrives I step aside and leave room for the new parents to discover their baby. I try and grab some photos (I’m not a birth photographer though, so keep your expectations in check!) and then I only step in if my client needs me for some reason.

Why does that matter? Why won’t I ask to hold your baby? Simply because: they are yours, not mine. I want you to be able to hold your baby as close as you want, for as long as you want without anyone interrupting that time. There will be enough people coming along in the next few hours and weeks who need to take that baby out of your arms for whatever reason, and tons of friends and family who will offer help by “holding the baby”.

Instead, I want to hold you, whether that’s in my arms, in my heart or my thoughts. By supporting and “holding” you, I don’t need to hold your baby. But if you ask me to, I would LOVE to.”

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They told her to stop saying it.
They told her she was exaggerating.
They told her formula was “modern,” “scientific,” and just as good.

So they fired her.

Her name was Cicely Williams, and she was one of the first doctors to say something that seems obvious now—but was explosive then:

Breast milk is not replaceable.

She learned that truth the hardest way possible.

In the 1930s, Williams was working as a pediatrician in British-controlled West Africa. She was trained in London, steeped in Western medicine, and sent into colonial hospitals where malnutrition was everywhere—but poorly understood.

Children arrived swollen, lethargic, their hair faded to rust, their bellies distended. Mothers insisted the babies were eating. Many were. They were being fed imported formula powders and diluted canned milk aggressively marketed as “modern” and “advanced.”

And the babies were dying.

Williams noticed a pattern no one wanted to name. The sickest children were not starving in the traditional sense. They were being weaned too early—often because mothers were told that formula was superior to their own milk.

She named the disease kwashiorkor, borrowing a local word that meant “the sickness of the displaced child”—the illness that came when a baby was pushed off the breast because a new sibling had arrived.

Kwashiorkor was not just malnutrition.
It was the biological cost of replacing human milk with something that looked similar—but wasn’t.

Williams documented it meticulously. Autopsies. Clinical notes. Outcomes. She watched babies recover when breastfeeding resumed—and die when it didn’t.

So she spoke up.

In lectures, papers, and conferences, Williams warned that aggressive promotion of infant formula in poor communities was killing children. She said breast milk wasn’t just food. It was immune protection, hydration, metabolism, survival.

She also said something far more dangerous.

She said corporations knew this.

At the time, formula companies were expanding globally, using colonial networks to sell powdered milk as progress. Their advertising framed breastfeeding as old-fashioned, backward, even irresponsible. Doctors were encouraged—sometimes incentivized—to recommend substitutes.

Williams called it what it was.

A public health disaster driven by profit.

The backlash was swift.

Her views were labeled “emotional.”
“Unscientific.”
“Anti-modern.”

She was sidelined. Contracts quietly ended. Invitations stopped arriving. At one point, she was effectively pushed out of positions for refusing to soften her language.

She did not stop.

Instead, she sharpened it.

In 1939, Williams delivered a lecture that would echo for decades. She accused formula promotion of being “one of the most serious and widespread causes of infant mortality.” She said replacing breast milk without clean water, refrigeration, or education was not progress—it was lethal.

It was betrayal dressed as science.

For years, her warnings were minimized. The industry grew. Infant mortality followed. Entire regions suffered waves of preventable death.

And then—slowly—the data caught up.

Decades later, global health organizations confirmed what Williams had said all along. Breast milk contained antibodies formula could not replicate. It adapted to a baby’s needs. It protected against infection in environments where sanitation was unreliable.

In 1981, the World Health Organization adopted the International Code of Marketing of Breast-milk Substitutes, explicitly restricting how formula could be promoted—especially in vulnerable populations.

It was a validation Williams never lived to fully see celebrated.

By then, she was an old woman, largely absent from public memory.

But her rage had become policy.

What makes her story so unsettling isn’t that she was wrong and later corrected.

It’s that she was right—and punished for it.

She wasn’t fired for bad science.
She was fired for threatening an industry narrative.

She stood at the intersection of motherhood, medicine, and money—and refused to lie.

Today, when parents are told “breast is best” with caveats, nuance, and compassion, it’s easy to forget how hard-won that language was. It exists because one woman watched children die and refused to stay polite about it.

Cicely Williams did not argue that formula had no place. She argued that pretending it was equal—especially in poor communities—was deadly.

She was accused of hysteria.

History called her accurate.

She didn’t want recognition.
She wanted babies to live.

And that, more than her firing, is why she mattered.

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Pueblo West, CO
81007

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