Spears Retreat Counseling Center

09/02/2025

SU***DE – This month is ***dePreventionMonth – Su***de often takes people by surprise. It festers, it grows and builds. Those with a past history of suicidal behavior, suffering from depression and worse, depression and anxiety (especially panic attacks) and addiction, a history of impulsive behavior are at higher risk. People with bipolar disorder also face high rates of su***de that exceed those of other major psychiatric disorders — up to 19% die by su***de and up to 50% will make a non-fatal su***de attempt. (https://bit.ly/31PqdZj). I myself have experienced suicidal ideation and it’s a hard and lonely place. Anyone can be at risk for su***de even those who don't have mental illness. If you’re worried about a friend or loved one, don’t be afraid to ask “are you okay,” to say “I hope you’re okay – I’m here for you”, and if you’re really worried ask “do you feel like harming yourself.” It has been shown that talking about su***de does not increase su***de risk. These are the many signs of possible suicidal risk. Please ask. If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal behavior - self harm, ideation - please reach out for help now. My deepest heartfelt condolences to loved ones who have lost a loved one to su***de or who have or who are experiencing suicidal behavior.

My blog post on su***de: https://bit.ly/3I0iRtS

If you're struggling, it's okay to share your feelings. Call or text 988 or text TALK to 741741 or go to: https://speakingofsu***de.com/resources/ for a list of additional resources. You Matter ❤

Give someone you love a hug today. They may need it.

09/01/2025

Happy Labor Day Weekend! To give our staff time to celebrate this day, NAMI and the NAMI HelpLine are closed tomorrow. There are still resources available:

- Visit nami.org/WarmlineDirectory to find an available Warmline near you

- If you are experiencing a crisis, please call or text 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline , or chat online at chat.988lifeline.org

08/30/2025

If you’re grieving a su***de loss—drop a 💜 below.
If you’re holding space for someone else’s grief—drop a 🩵.
Let’s remind each other we’re still here. Together.

08/29/2025

The most dangerous manipulators are the ones who wear kindness as a mask while hurting you behind closed doors. They appear gentle, caring, and attentive, often going out of their way to make you feel special or valued. They know exactly what to say to disarm you, to make you believe in their goodness, and to make anyone around them think they are beyond reproach. But this kindness is not genuine—it is carefully constructed, a tool designed to hide their true intentions and to keep you under their control.

Behind closed doors, however, the story is very different. They twist your words, belittle your feelings, and plant seeds of doubt in your mind. They manipulate situations so that you begin questioning yourself, wondering if you are overreacting or imagining things. While you are busy defending your own perception of reality, they continue to operate in secrecy, gaining power over your emotions. They feed on trust, patience, and empathy, and they exploit every ounce of your vulnerability to maintain their façade.

To the outside world, they remain shining examples of virtue—generous, loving, and supportive. Friends, family, and colleagues may even praise them for their apparent warmth and integrity. And this is what makes them so dangerous: you are left isolated in your confusion, feeling unheard, and doubting your own judgment.

Recognizing such people is not easy. It requires courage, vigilance, and a deep trust in your own instincts. It means observing patterns rather than isolated moments, and valuing how you feel in their presence above how they present themselves to the world. Distance and boundaries become your shields, self-awareness your guide, and clarity your ultimate weapon. Because the harsh truth is that some of the kindest faces conceal the coldest hearts, and learning to see past the mask is the only way to protect yourself from the harm they hide behind a smile.

08/17/2025

Talk to the people you are concerned about. They may need a listening ear and to know you care!

I know that talking about su***de can make some people uncomfortable but the more we can talk about it we can spread awareness in hopes of su***de prevention and keeping mental health awareness high in the medical field so more research is done to understand mental health. NG🐬

08/11/2025

What if your child woke up in a home where no one yelled?

Where respect and calm conversations were the norm.

Where the tension doesn’t live in the air, and the bedtime kisses come after real connection—not silent discomfort.

It might just be you and your child in that quiet space. That’s okay. What matters most is that home feels safe.

This kind of home shapes a child’s future. They’ll learn how to love and be loved the way they experienced it at home. When we fill our space with peace, kindness, and firm boundaries, we begin shaping their inner world.

Surround yourself with people who treat you with respect, who don’t drag in drama or demand perfection. Choose relationships that let you breathe easier and support the person you’re becoming. When your inner life rests in peace, it becomes easier to hold the calm you want in the chaos kids bring.

Remember: the way we live, who we allow into our lives, the boundaries we set, the self-respect we model—all of it becomes the blueprint our children follow.

If you're ready to build that kind of home—the kind your child feels safe to grow in, come join me on Tuesday, August 12, for a free, live parent coaching session.

You’ll get:

✅ Live coaching (real parents, real struggles, real solutions)
✅ Practical answers to your parenting questions
✅ Step-by-step tools to lead your child with calm confidence

Let’s shift things together. Save your seat now. It’s totally free—but spots are limited.

https://go.thepeacefulparentacademy.com/coaching-session

08/05/2025

Truly a best over the years

Addiction & Recovery Books. Another shout out for 'The Language of Letting Go' by Melody Beattie.
"I was sitting in a meeting, knees bouncing, resisting the urge to check my phone for the fifth time—Did he text? Did he need me?—when an older woman with kind eyes and a no-nonsense ponytail slid a worn blue book across the table.

The Language of Letting Go was embossed in gold, its edges softened by years of use. “Start with today’s date,” she whispered ".

I opened at August 15th and read: “Today, I will focus on solving my own problems—and only my own.”

My chest tightened. I’d spent my life convinced that fixing others was my calling. By the time I finished the book, I realised: letting go isn’t loss—it’s liberation.

1. Codependency Isn’t Love—It’s Control in Disguise
Beattie’s razor-sharp truth: “We call it ‘helping,’ but it’s really about managing—their moods, their choices, their outcomes.” I thought of all the times I’d:
- Edited my ex’s resume (“He’ll never do it right!”)
- Made excuses for my alcoholic friend (“She’s just stressed!”)
- Played therapist to emotionally unavailable partners
The wake-up call? “Love doesn’t require martyrdom. Healthy relationships don’t demand management.”

2. Detachment & Indifference
The August 20th meditation rewired my brain: “Detachment means caring deeply—but from a place of choice, not obligation.” Now, when my sister spirals, I say: “I love you, and I trust you to handle this.” Then I walk away. The miracle? She started handling things—because I stopped.

3. Your Feelings Are Not Emergencies
The September 3rd entry floored me: “We codependents treat every emotion like a five-alarm fire.” I’d spent years:
- Panicking when someone was upset (“I must fix it!”)
- Ruminating on texts (“What did they really mean?”)
- Chasing “closure” like it was oxygen
Beattie’s lifeline? “Not every feeling needs action. Some just need to be.” Now I pause. Breathe. Ask: “Is this mine to carry?”

4. Boundaries Are Love Letters to Yourself
The October 10th meditation became my mantra: “’No’ is a complete sentence.” I practiced:
- “I can’t lend money, but I’ll pray for you.”
- “I won’t discuss my weight.”
- “I’m hanging up if you yell.”
The shock? People adjusted. The ones who didn’t? They weren’t my people.

5. Letting Go is a Muscle (Not a One-Time Event)
Beattie’s December 31st wisdom: “Recovery isn’t a straight line—it’s a daily return to choice.” Some days I backslide (old habits die hard). But now I have tools:
- Journaling: “Whose business am I in today?”
- Meditation: Visualising my hands releasing versus clutching
- Community: Calling a fellow recoverer instead of “fixing” someone

08/04/2025

07/25/2025