08/05/2025
Truly a best over the years
Addiction & Recovery Books. Another shout out for 'The Language of Letting Go' by Melody Beattie.
"I was sitting in a meeting, knees bouncing, resisting the urge to check my phone for the fifth timeâDid he text? Did he need me?âwhen an older woman with kind eyes and a no-nonsense ponytail slid a worn blue book across the table.
The Language of Letting Go was embossed in gold, its edges softened by years of use. âStart with todayâs date,â she whispered ".
I opened at August 15th and read: âToday, I will focus on solving my own problemsâand only my own.â
My chest tightened. Iâd spent my life convinced that fixing others was my calling. By the time I finished the book, I realised: letting go isnât lossâitâs liberation.
1. Codependency Isnât LoveâItâs Control in Disguise
Beattieâs razor-sharp truth: âWe call it âhelping,â but itâs really about managingâtheir moods, their choices, their outcomes.â I thought of all the times Iâd:
- Edited my exâs resume (âHeâll never do it right!â)
- Made excuses for my alcoholic friend (âSheâs just stressed!â)
- Played therapist to emotionally unavailable partners
The wake-up call? âLove doesnât require martyrdom. Healthy relationships donât demand management.â
2. Detachment & Indifference
The August 20th meditation rewired my brain: âDetachment means caring deeplyâbut from a place of choice, not obligation.â Now, when my sister spirals, I say: âI love you, and I trust you to handle this.â Then I walk away. The miracle? She started handling thingsâbecause I stopped.
3. Your Feelings Are Not Emergencies
The September 3rd entry floored me: âWe codependents treat every emotion like a five-alarm fire.â Iâd spent years:
- Panicking when someone was upset (âI must fix it!â)
- Ruminating on texts (âWhat did they really mean?â)
- Chasing âclosureâ like it was oxygen
Beattieâs lifeline? âNot every feeling needs action. Some just need to be.â Now I pause. Breathe. Ask: âIs this mine to carry?â
4. Boundaries Are Love Letters to Yourself
The October 10th meditation became my mantra: ââNoâ is a complete sentence.â I practiced:
- âI canât lend money, but Iâll pray for you.â
- âI wonât discuss my weight.â
- âIâm hanging up if you yell.â
The shock? People adjusted. The ones who didnât? They werenât my people.
5. Letting Go is a Muscle (Not a One-Time Event)
Beattieâs December 31st wisdom: âRecovery isnât a straight lineâitâs a daily return to choice.â Some days I backslide (old habits die hard). But now I have tools:
- Journaling: âWhose business am I in today?â
- Meditation: Visualising my hands releasing versus clutching
- Community: Calling a fellow recoverer instead of âfixingâ someone