05/02/2025
So you’ve tried timeouts, grounding, rewards, consequences, and taking away every single screen… and yet, your child still talks back, refuses to listen, and pushes your buttons like it’s their full-time job.
I hear you. And let’s get one thing straight—this isn’t your fault.
🚨 You are not a bad parent.
🚨 You haven’t “failed” at discipline.
The real issue? Traditional discipline doesn’t work for every kid. Especially for kids with ADHD, emotional dysregulation, or those strong-willed, nothing-seems-to-work personalities.
The goal isn’t just to stop bad behavior in the moment—it’s to help them rewire their brain so they can self-regulate before it even starts.
Let’s break it down.
Change the Goal → Stop Trying to "Fix" in the Moment
Right now, you’re exhausted because you’re stuck in a cycle of managing explosions as they happen. Instead of asking:
🚫 “How do I stop this behavior?”
Shift to:
✔ “How do I protect myself from the emotional toll?”
✔ “How do I keep things safe while disengaging?”
✔ “How do I help their brain practice emotional control outside of meltdowns?”
✅ Step away sooner when they explode.
✅ Avoid battles that won’t go anywhere.
✅ Reduce your emotional investment in their outbursts.
Because the real progress? It happens between the meltdowns—not in the middle of them. I love these positive parenting tips and techniques.
The “Energy Matching” Technique
When kids rage, parents tend to match their energy—getting louder, stricter, and more reactive. But here’s the problem: escalation fuels escalation.
Instead, do the opposite. Lower your energy instead of increasing it. Speak in a slow, calm voice and refuse to engage in the chaos.
🚨 Example: Instead of shouting “Stop yelling!” say quietly, “I’ll talk to you when you’re ready.”
Kids mirror your regulation level—so lowering your energy helps lower theirs.
💡 What to say instead:
✔ “I hear you’re upset. I’m walking away.”
✔ “I'm not arguing. We’ll talk later.”
✔ “You can feel mad, but I won’t talk to you when you’re yelling.”
No explaining. No negotiating. No forcing consequences in the heat of the moment. Save all of that for later—when they’re actually calm enough to hear you.
Pre-Teach Instead of Punishing After the Fact
Most discipline happens after a child has already lost control. But here’s the thing—a dysregulated brain isn’t in learning mode.
Instead of waiting for the meltdown, teach emotional control proactively.
Use everyday moments to practice:
✔ While watching a show: “Hey, if you start feeling frustrated, what can you do instead of yelling?”
✔ Before a potentially triggering event: “What’s your plan if something doesn’t go your way?”
✔ After a calm moment: “Yesterday was rough. What could we try next time?”
Will this work instantly? Nope. You’ll feel like you’re repeating yourself a million times. But this is how their brain slowly rewires and learns new patterns.
🔥 Need a structured way to practice? The Mega Emotions Workbook is designed to help kids build emotional regulation skills before the meltdown even starts—because the real magic happens between the tough moments, not in them. I hope you are enjoying the workbook!
