BrenaJean

08/21/2025

It’s difficult to contend with self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence when you live in a body that most people think you should be afraid or ashamed to exist in.

Afraid, because of hypothetical health problems. Ashamed, because of the trauma they carry from losing someone they were told d!ed “because of their weight.”

Self-worth can feel like a constant uphill battle when you live in a Lipedema body, especially in the later stages, where we aren’t just seen as fat people. We’re viewed as “the worst” of the fat people. The ones in the largest bodies, with non-normative lobules, shapes, and textures that the public holds us accountable for having.

Here’s the truth:
No one has a body they need to be “held accountable” for. And even though I know that, knowing better than ignorant people doesn’t erase the pain of surviving people’s ignorances.

Learning to cultivate self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence can be a healing salve for the wounds that ignorant people cause. These practices aren’t just emotional. They are imperative to the health of Lipedema patients.

Whether it’s finding the strength to face a battle with medical insurance, or advocating for yourself in an emergency room when you know the symptoms are pointing to sepsis and time is of the essence....your life may depend on your ability to act from your self-worth, trust in your self-esteem, and move on your own behalf with self-confidence.

08/05/2025

Most people think of lipedema as a condition that only affects women, but new research is proving otherwise.

A recent study from Brazil followed five men diagnosed with lipedema, all showing the same hallmark signs seen in women: symmetrical fat accumulation in the legs, sparing of the feet, pain, and easy bruising. Many had endocrine disorders, and one tested positive for HLA-DQ2 and HLA-DQ8 - markers linked to gluten sensitivity.

With targeted diet changes, low-impact exercise, and in some cases medication, every patient saw improvements in just a few weeks. This is powerful evidence that lipedema in men is real, underdiagnosed, and treatable.

Read the full study here: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40761995/



American Lipedema Association Lipedema Foundation Lipedema CanadaTalk Lipoedema Lipoedema UK Lipoedema Australia Lipedema Sisters USA CBS News NBC Men's Health

06/28/2025

A cancer 🥰 I love us 🥰🦀♋️🌊🦋💙

Happy Birthday H.E.R. 🎂
Gabi Wilson is 28 today! 🎉

06/20/2025

❤️🖤💚✊🏾

06/07/2025

June is Lipedema awareness month and honestly, the community is in a weird place.

Today, more people have heard of Lipedema than when I was diagnosed. Even if doctors do not know how to diagnose this connective tissue disorder, when I say to them that I have Lipedema, they nod and acknowledge that I have a loose connective tissue disorder that manifests as disordered and non--metabolic fat, chronic inflammation and pain, a broken lymphatic system, and that I was born this way.

Yet, there is no formal diagnosis code that is on my record, just communication notes with my doctors from the last 5 years. There are no FDA-approved medications for the treatment of Lipedema and yet droves of Lipedema patients are using GLP1 medications to manage the inflammation, swelling, fibrosis, and metabolic fat and lots are having success.

These medications come with a host of risks and side effects and not every Lipedema patient can use them. In addition, they're expensive if paying out-of-pocket, which I still do as insurance has denied the coverage of Zepbound and Mounjaro for me twice already. I also think my primary care physician is weary of my "advocate for me" letters.

Lipedema patients have not ever been 100% collectively supportive of fat liberation. We are as "anti-fat" as fatphobic gym bros sometimes. Some patients even go as far to asa to say, "I'm NOT fat! I have Lipedema," while also barely surviving anti-fat discrimination on a daily basis.

I understand how this "method behind the madness" is a trauma response to the discrimination and policing of fat bodies that Lipedema patients face. Hell, chances are, if you have stage 3 or 4 Lipedema and you're over 350lbs, you've survived the brunt of fat discrimination, bullying, humiliation, and loss of bodily autonomy and humanization.

Of course you're screaming at the top of your lungs, "I DID NOT CAUSE MY BODY TO LOOK LIKE THIS!" No one and I mean NO ONE knows what its like to live in a 400, 500, 600, 700+ pound body and BE SEEN like late-stage Lipedema patients. Of course, you are trying everything including disassociating yourself with the community of fat people fighting to be free of weight discrimination.

Separating yourself from the fat liberation community will not save you though. At the same time "EVERYBODY and they momma," is all of a sudden,(how did Lizzo put it?), "releasing weight." Eli Lilly's stock rocks between the mid $700s and mid $800s per share on a daily basis even while tariff talks and egg prices are trending on our social media feeds.

I still believe Lipedema Awareness has the power to change the world and how the world thinks about systems of care, hegemonial body standards, the diet industry, and accessibility. I have also lost nearly 100lbs while on compound Tirzepatide.

I believe in the necessity to normalize liberated fat bodies for the sake of racial, gender, disability, and q***r liberation movements. Its all of us or none of us. I also have a list of surgeons I plan to contact when I'm ready for my tummy tuck, Brazilian butt lift, and hopefully, natural b**b job... I'm going for tear-drop shaped implants personally.

Lipedema Awareness in 2025 is occupying the space of the messy-ass-middle.

05/07/2025

No one believes me when I say that I’m an introvert because I’m good with people. I’m not shy, I’m introverted.The two aren’t the same. Some introvert’s are shy and some aren’t. An adult introvert is someone who burns fuel in order to interact. An extrovert is someone who is fueled by interactions. I used my fuel to celebrate my friend, the networking extraordinaire and founder of the Ladies of Greensboro. She attracts legions of good people to her and I got a chance to drive down and meet some of them. Well worth the feul. 😊 See yall in about 3 months! 🤭Until then, as my momma would say: Be good, Learn Somethin! 🤓

All of my clothes are old.
Skirt eshakti (Closed)
Top REBDOLLS
Shoes Kat Maconie
Earcuff M.A.M Jewellery
Glasses Tom Ford

04/14/2025

When I was very little, I would ask my Aunt Eunice if I could look through her photo albums. She would say that she didn’t have any albums I ain’t seen already. I didn’t care. I just wanted to see the pictures again.

I was so little then, that after I sat down on the couch, she’d tell me to scoot all the way back so the album could rest across my legs. They were so big, that they’d fall off my lap if I didn’t sit with my back against the pillows and let my feet dangle off the edge of the couch.

She had photos of my mother when she was young, a backstage photo with Pattie Labelle — who wore her hair in a spiked punk rock fan back then — brilliant black and white images of my Uncle Hank, and an unforgettable romantic black and white image of a cross street called Eunice and Henry (Uncle Hank’s real name).

Uncle Hank was an alcoholic Pisces who was convinced he was a “Japtalian” and gave me a leather medallion that had the shape of Africa carved into the middle in red, black, and green. His Sagittarius wife, Aunt Eunice, would leave the room cussing any time Uncle Hank started talking about “Japtalians”… well, everyone left the room cussing really… except me. I was afraid of getting in trouble. I still don’t know what that term means, but I understood it was something I shouldn’t take seriously based on every adult’s response to this word. (It sounds racist a lil bit too… 🥴 don’t it?)

Uncle Hank was an odd bird who took us to the parks to feed pigeons while he drank and hung out with other men who reeked of liquor in the parks of West Oakland. Aunt Eunice and Uncle Hank remained married until Uncle Hank passed away.

I was 7 years old. His was the first funeral I attended. That was the first time my mother cried… to my knowledge. She grabbed my hand and walked us into the bathroom at the funeral hall. Then she went into a stall. I heard her cry… but didn’t see her. When she walked out of the stall, her face was stone. Emotionless. She was ready to bury her big brother, Hank.

They’re all gone now, and I imagine together. My altar is a busy place. My body of ancestors are as nurturing as they are gangster. I owe Hank a bottle of VSOP.

04/12/2025

Did I ever tell you about being too boring for reality tv?

A few years ago, I worked for a quirky company that was always being scouted for the next reality show.

Networks sent their scouts out to our warehouse and we’d go to the Buttercup restaurant nearby to do on camera interviews.

I wasn’t prepared for them to try making my weight a storyline. The only shows I could think of where fat people’s weight was openly discussed were shows like My 600lb Life and The Biggest Loser - I was not interested in framing my life that way, but I can’t imagine I’d have much control over the final edits.

Scouts also looked for conflict between our crew members and tried to stir up drama between us.
In the end, we didn’t have what it took to make a reality show stick. My “weight problem” was not enough and our coworker drama didn’t come with enough spice. We were too boring to bank on.

In those days, the popularity of reality shows based on small businesses were beginning to dwindle along with watching tv shows as a whole! Networks who’d built a viewership mostly on reality tv shows were scouring the earth to find SOMETHING to keep their viewers locked in!

A woman from one of the networks said that Atlanta had become so congested with reality tv that sometimes film crews had to work hard to keep multiple shows out of each others shots at restaurants, so they were looking for new locations like the SF Bay Area.

That was years ago. Years before the COVID-19 lockdowns. Years before I knew I had Lipedema. Before this season of our collective reality show, ‘Murica, began to play out on our timelines. Nothing is more dramatic than the fall of a country I suppose.


✔️ 🇺🇸

03/26/2025

Ya daddy text me talm’bout FaceTime him wearin’ nothin but my CPAP mask.

ID 1: Image of me, a fat Black femme with brown skin and short hair, wearing my CPAP mask over my mouth and nose while lying in bed and making a peace sign with my fingers facing the camera. There’s a painting behind me

ID 2: Black and white video of me with my T-shirt pulled up exposing my workout bra and compression leggings pulled up over my belly. I nod at the camera and caress my belly.

ID 3: Black and white image of me wearing a dress with a bell sleeve on the left arm and no sleeve on the right. Taking a selfie in front of a mirror holding up my phones camera.

ID 4: Photo of me with my body turned away from the camera and my face towards it. I’m completely bald and smirking sitting on my bed. The headboard can be seen behind me. I’m wearing red glasses. The lighting is pink and blue.

❤️

03/25/2025

A bunch of stuff is happening in Aries. I could use some of that Aries chaotic flame. I need to embrace the “Just Do It” of it all. If there is one thing Aries does without hesitation its get shxt done.

I, on the other hand, analyze, draft, iterate, test, test again, hesitate, question, compare… never post it. I have hoarded my thoughts, my visions, my ideas, all of my partially complete projects because, WHAT IF I SAY THE WRONG THING?!?!? 👀

What if I p**s off people that I love? What if people that I respect and care about lose respect for me or what if I never gain their respect?

Meh. Here is caution to the wind. Cheers to recovering perfectionists and people pleasers and conflict and resolutions. Cheers to living out loud. Cheers to failures and mistakes. Cheers to playing instead of watching from the sidelines. Cheers to typos, ugly photos, being seen in poor light and being a multifaceted flawed and miraculous human effing being. 🥂

03/24/2025

“Sloppy Fat Femme”

I am not quite sure exactly what the disconnect with my own femininity is. I have never felt as if I had enough “femininity” to claim it for myself and I deeply deeply desire to feel at home with femininity.

Sometimes, my imposter syndrome with femininity is interpreted as insecurity with my fatness/size, when it’s the fat-body-shape-hierarchy that I am contending with.

Fat-Body-Shape-Hierarchy is a mostly unspoken (at least in non-Black-dominant-spaces) but widely accepted hierarchy of visibility/value/desire/femininity specific to fat femmes based on her body proportions. (Feel free to add to this, if you know).

I envy the more acceptable/normalized/desired Lipedema bodies, like my mother had. (Truth be told, lots of women desire the body shapes typical of Lipedema patients… but that’s for another day…)

A much smaller midsection/stomach than with thighs that match is the “gold-standard” for acceptable feminine fat bodies.

I was not gifted my mother’s Coke-bottle body. She reminded me of this often. My fatness bothered my mother, but what made her contort her lips up to her nose as if the air reeked of putrid gases when she caught a gander of the lobules above my knees hanging below my school uniform’s shorts. It was the “way” I was fat.

Back when she was alive, there was a word the floated around the hood to describe the type of fat body I have. It was mostly used to describe women at that time. I have never personally heard it used to describe men.

The word is “sloppy.” As in “sloppy fat” or “fat and sloppy.”

…. This is more of a blog post than a an IG caption. If you’re still reading, make sure you’re subscribed to my newsletter. www.brenajean.com

***r ***r

03/09/2025

Blonde was a moment. 👱🏾

For a few years I worked in a salon and today, ironically, I still work in the beauty industry in a different role. I’ve been getting my hair done in salons since I was 5 years old.

Regularly getting my hair done, manicures, pedicures, body treatments, facials, and the latest beauty treatments, is a lifestyle I dream of as an adult. I have no idea how I afforded that kind of stuff in my 20s. 🫠 I miss being high maintenance. lol

blackblonde lymphedema