11/16/2025
Jesus was deceived by a kiss. Judas hadn’t brought his doubts or grievances to Jesus to discuss as friends normally do but instead ultimately acted upon his secret thoughts.
Have you ever had a spouse, family member, or a friend say things were okay between you but the awkward tension persisted? “Open rebuke is [truly] better than secret love” (Prov. 25:5). It may be uncomfortable to talk about it but it is better to talk about it than allow the gap between you to widen.
I have often thought that the decision to talk about an offense depends upon whether someone was willing to hear based on Mathew 10:14 and John 16:12.
But we have an obligation to keep our hearts pure. If bitterness and resentment grow as a result of remaining silent then whether the offender listens to our plea for reconciliation or not we hurt ourselves by remaining silent.
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.“ Mathew 1815
This verse doesn’t say only speak to your brother if they will listen to you. It implies that we are to talk to the one who has offended us whether they listen to us or not but if he does listen to you, you have gained a friend.
There is context however. Not all grievances are to be expressed. “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression” Proverbs 19:11. We don’t want to bring up every little thing nor be overly sensitive. And how we present the issue really does matter.
We are called to keep our hearts pure so if you find that resentment is building it is important to talk with the other even if reconciliation isn’t possible instead of pretending that things are well between the two of you. After all, you have to live with your heart.
