Jill M. Pellicciarini, dual MA, Marriage and Family Therapist

10/13/2025

10/13/2025

10/12/2025

On narcissistic abuse

10/07/2025

10/04/2025

If a child only listens when they’re threatened with consequences, that isn’t trust. That isn’t respect. It’s fear.

And fear doesn’t teach understanding. It only teaches avoidance. The message becomes: “If I do as I’m told, I won’t get in trouble.” The real lesson — the “why” behind the boundary — gets lost.

Children need rules and boundaries, of course. They need guidance and limits to grow. But how we hold those boundaries is what matters most.

When fear is the motivator, a child doesn’t learn wisdom. They learn to hide. They learn to cover. They learn that the goal is not being found out, rather than learning the deeper reason behind the rule itself.

But when limits are set with empathy, explained with patience, and lived out in front of them, something different begins to grow. Trust. Respect. Connection. VALUES. They may not like every rule, but they begin to see the care behind it — and over time, they take it in as their own.

Because life delivers enough consequences on its own. Our job isn’t to make our children afraid of us. Our job is to be the steady guide who shows them a better way — so one day, they can choose it for themselves.

Fear may shape behaviour in the moment. But trust? Trust shapes character, and character decides who they become. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

Follow & for more

10/03/2025