Catholic Counseling Texas/Building Bridges Counseling

4 Tips to Help You Unhook from Difficult Thoughts or Feelings

4 Tips to Help You Unhook from Difficult Thoughts or Feelings In this quick video, Russ shares four whacky techniques to help you unhook from difficult thoughts and feelings.

The Credible Hulk

Dr. John Gottman describes a repair attempt as “any statement or action — silly or otherwise — that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.”

Repair attempts are also bids for connection. Knowing what they look and sound like can help you communicate more effectively in your relationship. 💞

Please note: This post is not intended to address situations of abuse. Social media is not a replacement for individualized support.

When something is not producing, it is regenerating. And while that's happening, good things are occurring that get it ready for the next production cycle. Some people are incapable of rest, because when they stop producing, stillness allows unresolved conflicts, feelings of emptiness, fear, and other bothersome states to emerge. This trajectory only leads to a plateau which will eventually cause growth to stop altogether.

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What a powerful statement that perfectly captures the “WHY” of our Mission as the Catholic Psychotherapy Association. The work that we do as mental health-focused students, teachers, clergy, religious and clinicians is rooted in love of our fellow man. In the world today, it is increasingly more difficult to be that vessel of love for others – especially as Catholics seeking to integrate our faith and practice as mental heath professionals.

This is why the education, evangelization, and COMMUNITY of the Catholic Psychotherapy Association is so important. And this is why the support of our members, friends, sponsors and anyone with a passion for building an environment of professional development and mutual support for Catholic mental health practitioners is critical.
To learn more and donate today, use the link below.

http://ow.ly/Uf7550K9OhZ

Photos from More 2 Life - with Dr. Greg & Lisa Popcak's post

When We Fail to Develop Boundaries

When We Fail to Develop Boundaries These symptoms may occur when you fail to develop boundaries. Boundaries are a necessary part of healthy relationships, whether marriage, friendships, at work, and anywhere that you interact with others. If you are feeling any of these, it would be a good idea to work on setting healthy boundaries.

Dealing with failure is like buying a house — you're not leasing — it's all YOURS, and no one else is responsible for it! But the good part about fully owning your life, failure included, is this: since you own it, you can add value to it, make improvements, control it, and ultimately reap the benefits of it. If you're not the owner, all you can do is complain to the landlord. Don't be the person who just complains, OWN your life and fix it up!

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There’s a simple ABC formula for fear whispering. When fear shows up, we: allow it, befriend it and channel it. Read more in the blog at https://hubs.li/Q01gwbPm0

What if you are not fundamentally broken?
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What if the work of healing is to learn how to stop believing + feeling the lie that you’re bad, broken, or a mistake?
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What if walking with Jesus means to learn how to say yes to reclaiming your God-given light?
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What if there is no shame in any of this, no matter where you are in your journey today?
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Tag a friend who might need to hear this. ❤️

Everyone struggles in one area or another when it comes to self-control, but if we are to become happy, healthy, fulfilled people, self-control is a crucial part of that equation. Some common areas of struggle include food, money, time, and words. If this is true for you, consider some ways you might bring healthy boundaries into the picture that will set you up for success and self-control.

Break it down…

Many of us were taught that we shouldn’t trust ourselves, especially in faith communities. So, we had no choice but to put all our trust in everyone around us. For much of my early adult life, I struggled with feeling like the column on the right, even if I didn’t show it outwardly. When faced with a problem or decision, I spun around like a top, waiting for someone else to set me right. ​​​​​​​​
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There is no shame in recognizing yourself in these patterns. Self-awareness is the first step toward growth and change.​​​​​​​​
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It might feel good at first to find someone who tells you how to think or feel. But, over the long haul, it doesn’t work. It takes 2 people bringing 2 clear voices into a conversation in order for a relationship to stay steady over time.​​​​​​​​
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On the flip side, there are also messages encouraging us to over-correct. These messages suggest that you should ONLY use your own voice. NEVER think of anybody else. This is a heightened individualism that doesn’t get it quite right.​​​​​​​​
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You may well need to take some space for yourself in order to find your voice for a time, especially at first. But if you want to forge lasting relationships with other people, you will need to to learn how to both give voice to your perspective AND hear out the other side. ​​​​​​​​
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How have you started finding your own voice?

Narcissism is, simply speaking, self-love, or an excessive interest in one's own appearance, comfort, importance, or abilities. Narcissists are preoccupied with an idealized image of themselves.

There are skills that must be learned in order to grow. For example, we need to learn to resolve issues of good and bad. Here are some ways that we can practice this: pray (ask God to reveal anything that you are unaware of), rework the ideal (much of the content of our ideal self is false), rework distortions (challenge your distorted views of God, yourself, and others), monitor the relationship between the ideal and the real (listen to the way you respond to the less than ideal), practice loving the less than ideal in others (learning to accept badness and weakness in others brings healing in the split of the good and bad).

Early developmental injuries take time to heal, and it takes time to grow. We are talking about the most vulnerable aspect of our hearts; it takes time for that to be strengthened. ❤️💪

Over these next few days, we’re invited to turn down the volume on the noise and distractions in our life in order to focus our interior gaze on Jesus. ​​​​​​​​
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Question: What helps you “turn down the noise” and tune out distractions in your life, especially this week? ​​​​​​​​
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Because there’s a lot trying to distract us! ​​​​​​​​
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This “interior recollection” we’re called to is continual and direct conversation with Christ, and in order to do this, we need silence. ​​​​​​​​
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In the quiet, we can better hear Jesus, see ourselves in our truest form (through His eyes), and come to know His love and will for us.​​​​​​​​
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St. Joseph is a great example of someone who had this deep capacity for interior recollection, silence, and discernment! ​​​​​​​​
May we come to love silence - and Jesus! - as much as he did.​​​​​​​​
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Photos from CatholicPsych's post

Catholic Counseling Texas/Building Bridges Counseling updated their information in their About section.

Catholic Counseling Texas/Building Bridges Counseling updated their information in their About section.

Monday on More2Life: Imposter!--Are you challenged with imposter syndrome? We’ll help you discover who God created you to be.

Tune in live at 10am E/9am C on , the Ave Maria Radio app, and EWTN, SiriusXM 130!

Monday on More2Life: Fight, Flight, or Freeze--Is anxiety getting the better of you? We’ll help you conquer anxiety and find peace.

Find todays episode and all episodes of More2Life on your favorite podcast app!

Consider these questions to help you enter into prayer: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We are all created to be in an intimate, infinite relationship with God. As we prepare to enter a new calendar year, take some time out from thinking about your resolutions to ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
let your heart rest in the presence of God…⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What were some of the blessings of this past year? ⁠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Thank God for them. ⁠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What was the most challenging part of this past year? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Share it with God.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What causes you anxiety about the upcoming year? ⁠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Give it to God. ⁠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What is the Lord asking you to surrender to Him? ⁠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Listen to God. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Wishing you joy and the “peace that surpasses all understanding” as we begin a New Year! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This might surprise you, but the key to a happy partnership isn’t to eliminate conflict. All couples argue. Successful couples repair.

Couples who are happy together repair their interactions when they make errors or say hurtful things. They de-escalate and move gently toward compromise or a respectful, safe space to honor each other’s differences.

Learn how to address conflict and reach common ground with your loved one at the Virtual Art and Science of Love Workshop February 5-6, 8:30AM-3:00PM PT hosted by Certified Gottman Therapists Faith Drew, Ph.D., and George Bitar, Ph.D. of Connect Couples Therapy.

Take an additional 20% off when you use the code THANKYOU, now until December 31st! Register today: https://bit.ly/34h9hN8

How often do you and your partner share gifts from the heart? On Small Things Often, hear how to bring your loved one joy with small gestures that show how much you care: http://bit.ly/SmallThingsOften

How often do you avoid prayer because you're anxious, distressed, or feel you don’t have enough time?

This weekend is the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe - a title of Mary associated with a series of apparitions in Mexico to a Catholic convert and widower by the name of Juan Diego (now a saint!).

During the time of Mary’s appearances to Juan Diego, his beloved uncle became severely ill, and *in his anxiety and haste* to find help for his uncle, he took a different route in an attempt to avoid Our Lady!

She intercepted him though, promised St. Juan Diego that his uncle would return to good health, and assured him of her maternal care with the following words:

“Listen, my beloved son, have no fear or anxiety in your heart.
Do not try to do anything about your uncle’s grave illness or about any other trouble of yours.
For am I not here with you, I who am your mother?
Are you not safe in the shadow of my protection?
Am I not the source of your life and your happiness?
Am I not holding you in my lap, wrapped in my arms?
Do you need anything more?
Let nothing else worry you or distress you."”

These words are so important for us to hear as well!

This month, let’s ask for Our Lady of Guadalupe’s intercession, that we would be able to turn over all the stressors overwhelming us to her maternal care, taking to heart her words to St. Juan Diego, and allow her to lead us to greater trust in Jesus!

How to Assert Yourself

How to Assert Yourself Gottman Masters of relationships still need help when it comes to "asserting yourself." Here are tips on how.

“I see Jesus in you.”⁠

This is how Mother Teresa once answered a question from a man who lay dying in the streets of Calcutta.⁠
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While cleaning out worms from this poor man’s diseased wounds, he looked at Mother Teresa and asked her why she would care for him in such a way when all others had rejected or abandoned him. ⁠
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Her answer was simple. She saw Jesus in him.
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We are each made in the image and likeness of God, and as such, we all possess an innate dignity and are worthy of respect and love. ⁠
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Every part of us. ⁠
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This week, consider journaling with these questions:⁠
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✍️ Do I speak to/treat myself as someone made in the image of God?⁠ ⁠
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✍️ Do I speak to others I live/work/interact with as persons made in God’s image?⁠
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✍️ Do I see Jesus in myself? ⁠
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✍️ Do I see Jesus in those around me? ⁠
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✍️ How would my speech/behavior towards myself and others change if I could always keep this truth in mind?⁠
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Even if you feel like you can say whatever you want to your loved one, manners still matter. Hear how being polite can benefit your relationship on Small Things Often: http://bit.ly/SmallThingsOften

Wednesday on More2Life: Putting The Pieces Together--Do you feel like things are falling to pieces? We’ll help you put the pieces back together.

Tune in live at 10am E/9am C on , the Ave Maria Radio app, and EWTN, SiriusXM 130!

Have you ever felt tempted to “win” arguments with your loved one? This mindset is actually counterproductive and can damage your relationship over time.

By accepting that both you and your partner have a valid point of view, it becomes much easier to empathize with your partner’s feelings and deepen your understanding of their inner world. You don’t have to agree, but, to work through difficult emotions or a regrettable incident, you need to show respect for their opinions. When you do this and your partner does this for you, it becomes much easier to find a solution that works for both of you.

Practice research-based strategies to find common ground during conflict with help from the Gottman Relationship Coach today: https://bit.ly/3ci5PUO

Please note: This post is not intended to address situations of abuse in relationships. For immediate support, please contact thehotline.org.

There's still time!

For the rest of October, get 10% off of Unworried--A Life Without Anxiety at CatholicCounselors.com!

*Discount will be automatically applied at check out.*

https://catholiccounselors.com/.../unworried-a-life.../

Photos from The Gottman Institute's post

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Please Join us for a 90 minute discussion with our panelists. Jessica Barboza, MA, LMFT, Fr. Keith Chylinski, MA, MS, MDiv. and Carrie Milhous, LPC for a discussion on Grief and Loss.

Our panelist will be talking about multiple aspects of grief including: Spiritual Grief, COVID related grief, caregiver and family support, understanding the stages of grief. Answering questions on How do we collaborate with priests and the church? How do we support our clients and help to provide closure?

Click the link below to register.
https://catholicpsychotherapy.org/event-4512772

Love begins with listening. ⁠⁠
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Listening to God, to ourselves, and to others. ⁠⁠
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That’s as simple as it gets, really. (Which is why I love Mr. Rogers. 🤷🏻‍♂️)⁠⁠
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But we don't really listen these days. There's a lot of noise, but not a lot of listening. ⁠⁠
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We have to quiet down our minds to open up the space to really allow for processing of our experiences in light of objective truth. ⁠⁠
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This listening - to ourselves, to others, to God - will help us learn to love ourselves, others, and God.⁠⁠
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⁠When is the last time you were truly quiet? ⁠
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Men, when you're encouraged to "be like St. Joseph" what's usually your first reaction? (Be honest.)

My podcast guest on this week's episode shared that, when he was told to "go home and be St. Joseph", his reaction was "Are you kidding me? I don't want to be St. Joseph!"⁠

Which is relatable. Because most of the images we grew up with of St. Joseph depict him as really old, usually balding, maybe leaning on a cane or holding flowers. Not exactly the picture of masculinity. ⁠
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But St. Joseph is so much more than that! We need to rehabilitate how we see St. Joseph, because he truly is a man we need to learn from, emulate, and be spiritually fathered by. ⁠
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On the podcast this week, my guest Devin Schadt shares his powerful story of how, through St. Joseph, he began to live a "spirituality of fatherhood." ⁠I was blown away by our conversation and I invite you to watch the episode (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ-wvPKO3ow) and let me know your thoughts!⁠

Also - Devin is leading a one-of-a-kind, 33-day consecration to St. Joseph for men starting on Sept. 10th 👉 you can join through links in the podcast description.

Fathers of St. Joseph
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We may know God loves us,⁠⁠
we may talk about God’s love for us, ⁠⁠
and yet there can be so many parts of ourselves that we hate and don’t have compassion for. ⁠⁠
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How often do you find yourself being overly harsh or critical in how you talk to yourself internally? ⁠⁠
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Tuesday on More2Life: God Help Me, These Kids are Driving Me Crazy!--Are parenting struggles disrupting your daily life? We’ll help you find answers.

Tune in live at 10am E/9am C on , the Ave Maria Radio app, and EWTN, SiriusXM 130!

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In your child's formative years, modeling emotionally intelligent styles of conflict resolution is scientifically proven to do wonders for their future success.

Dr. John Gottman’s research on the effects of healthy parenting has shown that an awareness of your own emotions and those of your children dramatically strengthens your connection as a couple, too. Feelings of companionship, affection, fondness, admiration, and general happiness were shown to increase for couples who taught their children to process conflict in healthy ways.

Start making an impact on your family's wellbeing today. Improve your conflict and communication skills with the help of our Gottman Relationship Coach conflict programs: https://bit.ly/3njDcvD

While it's true that we're imperfect and we struggle to love and stumble on our way to sanctity, the truth of our IDENTITY is that we are masterpieces made in the image of God - each infinitely more valuable than the most expensive painting on earth.

Is it hard to see yourself in this way?

This week, consider taking some time each day (5-10 minutes) to spend with yourself as if you were visiting a masterpiece in a museum. Sense the deep goodness and beauty of your own being as someone made in the image of God.

Let your overall disposition toward yourself continue to be formed by this deepest sense of self. The more you come to see yourself as a masterpiece, the more you can truly appreciate your Creator.

Science Reveals The Upside of Sacrificing for Your Spouse - Catholic Counselors

Science Reveals The Upside of Sacrificing for Your Spouse - Catholic Counselors Are you struggling to connect with your spouse? Does it feel like you’ve been missing that spark in your relationship? Science and faith reveal a few simple ways to cultivate a more joyful marriage. Theology of The Body tells us …Read More →

www.churchpop.com

www.churchpop.com

We can be at peace and still be suffering... This is a mystery. ⁠⁠
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As difficult as it may be sometimes, there are things we can do to help bring us peace in the midst of our circumstances.⁠⁠
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How can we increase our peace?⁠⁠
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Listen to Jesus⁠.⁠⁠
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Follow the Gospel⁠.⁠⁠
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Seek what is true, good, and beautiful⁠.⁠⁠
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Know that God is in control and that All. Will. Be. Well.⁠ ⁠⁠
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⁣Learning Catholic Mindfulness is also a way to predispose ourselves to experiencing the "peace that surpasses all understanding."⁠ ⁠⁠
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If you're interested in learning more about Catholic Mindfulness in general, check out the blog article "Do Not Be Anxious About the Things of Your Life" at https://www.catholicpsych.com/blog/4

Scrupulosity: is it a spiritual problem or a psychological problem? 🧐⁠ Find out in this week's episode of the Being Human podcast 👉 https://www.catholicpsych.com/podcast
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This is a really pertinent issue when it comes to anything faith-based. Because of a pervasive misunderstanding of the issue, there's a lot of bad direction and people are suffering so deeply with these issues. ⁠
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Scrupulosity is a religiously-themed obsessive thought process, and can include compulsive behavior. It is not a spiritual issue that can be divorced from psychology. ⁠
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Going to confession more or trying to "just pray it away" is actually the opposite of what you should do.⁠
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Those who struggle with scrupulosity or OCD tendencies and/or anxiety that increases to levels of this pattern of behavior need a lot of compassion, patience and prayer. ⁠
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On the podcast this week, I'm looking at where OCD and scrupulosity come from, and what's needed to help those who suffer with this kind of anxiety. Tune in and let me know what you think!⁠

Option B 💕🙏🏼

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Self-compassion comes from recognizing that our imperfections are part of being human. Those who can tap into it recover from hardship faster.

, a psychologist who specializes in self-compassion, sees it as giving “ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.”

When we make mistakes or are unhappy with ourselves, many of us will self-criticize using words we would never say to another person. This not only takes a toll on our self-esteem, but also reduces our ability to show resilience in the face of difficult situations and can trigger physical reactions, such as spikes in the stress hormone cortisol.

Being gentle with ourselves is key. In her book “Self-Compassion,” Neff cites a study that found that “the more self-compassionate versus self-critical that people were, the lower their cortisol levels and the higher their heart rate variability” when confronting stressful situations.

Self-compassion is associated with greater happiness and satisfaction, fewer emotional difficulties, and less anxiety. As psychologist Mark Leary observes, self-compassion “can be an antidote to the cruelty we sometimes inflict on ourselves.”

Let's be kind to ourselves. What is one nice thing you can say to yourself the next time you make a mistake? 💛

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Shared from - https://bit.ly/32lEr3B