Carolyn Lee, LMHC

12/19/2025

4 CPTSD thoughts that surfaced in my first trimester—
and the trauma themes they required reworking.

1. “This is my soul’s death sentence.”
→ “If a death sentence, one for my CPTSD.”
Theme: Grief & loss.
Meaning was redirected from self-erasure to grieving outdated survival structures.

2. “My needs are no longer allowed to exist.”
→ “My needs must exist in order to support my child’s.”
Theme: Responsibility without self-abandonment.
A shift in priorities doesn’t require neglecting the self.

3. “I’m selfish for wanting this and hating parts of it.”
→ “Selflessness isn’t the goal either.”
Theme: All-or-nothing morality shaped by unhealthy social constructions.

4. “If I have a girl, we’re both doomed.”
→ “Pattern recognition isn’t destiny.”
Theme: Intergenerational trauma & perceived inevitability.

For these reframes to stick, they had to link back to earlier experiences where similar beliefs were already reprocessed—allowing the nervous system to register: this isn’t new, and it isn’t unsolvable.

For more on processing complex trauma themes (defectiveness, responsibility, control, safety, belonging), explore EMDR therapy—a structured way of unlearning and relearning what drives present-day symptoms, thoughts, and patterns.

Oo,
Carolyn Lee Downes, LCMHC, LMHC, LPC
🫶🏽 EMDR-Certified Therapist for Developmental & Complex Trauma
📍Licensed in NC, FL, + VA

12/17/2025

I stepped away for four months to expand my meditative toolkit—learning the quietly disappearing art of hand-sewing clothing. Somewhere between needle and thread, the dress I was making stopped fitting. Not because I failed—but because I was pregnant.

What I thought was a creative sabbatical became an unplanned CPTSD recovery maintenance test. Pregnancy surfaced residual beliefs about worth, capacity, and control in ways injuries, relocations, and losses never quite did. The first trimester—especially the relentless sickness—stripped me down to something raw and unfamiliar.

Now in my second trimester, with a bit more steadiness in my body, I can see more clearly what is temporary… and what will continue to deepen in meaning—for my growing family and my evolving sense of self.

More tidbits from this journey soon.

Oo,
Carolyn Lee Downes, LCMHC,LMHC, LPC
🫶🏽 an EMDR-Certified Therapist for Developmental & Complex Trauma
📍Licensed in NC, FL, + VA

07/27/2025

THIS ↑ ↑ ↑ is what FRONT END healing can’t look like, while the BACKEND kind takes place in therapy 👈🏽👈🏽😉

A recipe of BOTH is what makes healing truly sustainable 🫶🏽

Oo,
Carolyn Lee Downes, LCMHC,LMHC, LPC
🫶🏽 an EMDR-Certified Therapist for Developmental & Complex Trauma
📍Licensed in NC, FL, + VA

07/25/2025

4 Trauma Bonds THEMES I see AND their FOCUS in Therapy
↓↓↓

❶. FREEDOM vs BELONGING

🪷What therapy supports:
Helps rebuild trust that you can be fully yourself without losing your people—and connect with others without losing yourself.

EMDR focus 🎯:
Targets early experiences where connection and autonomy felt mutually exclusive, helping the brain reprocess these as survivable and integrable—so both needs can coexist without threat.

⸻

❷. SELF-CONTROL vs CELEBRATION

🪷What therapy supports:
Creates space to process what control was protecting you from, so that rest, joy, and discipline stop having to take turns.

EMDR focus 🎯:
Desensitizes the urgency behind hyper-control and binge cycles by reprocessing the unmet needs they once soothed—allowing adaptive beliefs to support both structure and joy without fear of collapse.

⸻

❸. VIRTUOUSNESS vs WORLDLINESS

🪷What therapy supports:
Helps separate inherited morality from personal values—so you can explore freely without abandoning what still feels meaningful.

EMDR focus 🎯:
Accesses the memory networks linking self-worth to rigid moral roles, and installs adaptive meaning around self-exploration, so curiosity becomes a source of growth—not guilt.

⸻

❹. RESPONSIBILITY vs CURIOSITY

🪷What therapy supports:
Guides you toward a sense of self that’s not just what you do for others, but who you are when no one needs you.

EMDR focus 🎯:
Reprocesses early burdens of parentification or survival-based responsibility, helping the system update with adaptive beliefs like: “It’s safe to explore. I don’t have to earn rest.”

⸻
Oo,
Carolyn Lee Downes, LMHC

EMDR-Certified Therapist for📍virtual clients in FL, NC, & VA
⚡️ Developmental & Complex Trauma Reprocessing

07/12/2025

07/08/2025

On Nervous System Resets 👆🏽👀

06/24/2025

I love analogies. Without them, I’m not sure where I’d be haha 😆 here’s one for attachment styles 👆🏽👀

Oo,
Carolyn
a Trauma Therapist who gets it
📍Virtual EMDR Therapist for FL, NC, & VA residents

📬 EMAIL | carolynleelmhc@gmail.com
🕸️ WEBSITE | carolynleelmhc.com

06/23/2025

This place had me speechless 🥹

06/22/2025

When (developmental trauma) clients experience recurring cognitive distortions⏤ or ‘thinking errors’⏤ as some say, I describe it to caregivers and loved ones like being able to see without the ability to accurately interpret what’s being seen.

- Carolyn Downes, LPC, LMHC, LCMHC
📍EMDR-C Therapist & Developmental trauma specialist for clients in FL, NC, and VA

Swipe for more ↑ ↑ ↑👀

06/04/2025

Just like you, I’m moving through some big changes.

Instead of a never ending search for betterment, I’m wondering how our nervous systems would react to a goal of simply increasing flexibility in how we go through change 🤔

Swipe through the above for an idea of some of my other reflections as of late.

05/20/2025

05/15/2025

We learn to relate to others before learning how to relate to ourselves. If and when attachment trauma occurs, sense of self can traumatically form to reinforce attachment learning that disproportionately stressed fear of loss is paramount, protection from threat is all one has, or even that chaotic shape-shifting is the only coping mechanism one can hope for, in managing the everyday stresses of life.

⏤⏤⏤

Attachment Trauma → Trauma-informed Self-concept → Developmental Trauma-informed LIFESTYLE

⏤⏤⏤

In contrast to shock trauma, PATTERNS of TRAUMATIC ASSOCIATION are the targets to focus on reprocessing.

Curious as to how EMDR Therapy with me could help you achieve this? Reach out Via email or Booking Request through my website (Links in Bio)

Oo,
Carolyn
a Complex Trauma Therapist who gets it
📍Virtual EMDR Therapy for FL, NC, & VA residents