Stephanie Wentworth-Connel, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

03/15/2025

Most relationship problems aren’t meant to be solved, they’re meant to be managed. Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that 69% of relationship conflicts are perpetual, meaning they won’t go away no matter how much you try to “fix” them. Instead of letting these differences create distance, successful couples focus on understanding each other and creating a dialogue around their recurring disagreements.

One key? Approach conflict with curiosity, not criticism. By listening, validating emotions, and making space for each other’s perspectives, you build a foundation of trust and connection, even when you disagree.

02/08/2025

11/25/2024

09/23/2024

I always say, “it’s not about being right, it’s about being heard”.

Do you ever catch yourself trying to get ahead of your partner? It’s natural to feel competitive at times, but relationships aren’t about winning—they’re about understanding, supporting each other’s dreams, and growing together.

04/10/2024

03/07/2024

It's not enough to listen to your spouse's feelings. You must actively show that you have heard them.

You can listen from the other room or while doing something else, but you can only practice active listening face-to-face without any distractions.

Listening primarily involves your ears, but active listening involves your entire body.

Listening serves you, while active listening serves the relationship.

Listening is only quiet. Active listening is first quiet but always speaks.

Active listening looks like:

1. Listening to their words
2. Watching their body language
3. Asking questions about their circumstances, then their emotions
4. Understanding the emotions behind their words
5. Sharing their feelings (Empathy)
6. Reciprocating their emotions

One of the most significant gifts you can give your spouse is understanding AND empathizing with their emotions. When you’re successful, you’ll build a deep connection that creates a rich environment for excellent communication and a great relationship.

03/05/2024

"It's almost always about something deeper. Explore that. And besides, nobody has ever calmed down after being told to calm down."

02/27/2024

Most kisses shared may be short and sweet. Perhaps you are running off to work, in the middle of cooking, or about to go to sleep. Lengthening kisses to six seconds could be a key to a better relationship.

Dr. John Gottman says it’s long enough to make a moment of connection with our partner. It stops the busyness in your brain and puts your focus on your partner at that moment. Kissing can be a good exercise in mindfulness.

What are you waiting for? Kiss your partner for at least six seconds!

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