Alaina Brubaker, LMFT

01/08/2024

It feels like *everyone* is talking about their resolutions, intentions, words of the year. These posts are reminders that have grounded me. You don’t have to be in the space to want to make changes. You can go at your own pace. Where you are and what you’ve done is enough as is. I know I needed to hear this and maybe you do too. Let me know in the comments 🫶🫶

❤

01/04/2024

Shared from your collective wisdom✨ Share what you want more or less of in the comments!

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12/31/2023

Someone has to say it and you’re not going to hear it from a marketing campaign looking for your 💰 You don’t just get a brand new self with the new year. You can’t just dump your issues in a corner and walk away. Your past, your struggles, your pain always find you again. It’s easy to declare at the beginning of a new year that you’re a new person and the old stuff you’ve struggled with is behind you.

But in February when the old patterns and struggles emerge it can feel like you’ve failed. You didn’t fail, your expectations for yourself weren’t realistic for life.

Instead let’s acknowledge that the past is always part of us. We don’t have to live in it, let it define us or dwell in it. It is a part of your story, it’s not all of it.

That acknowledgement allows you to have realistic expectations of yourself. When old struggles surface you can address them in a new and healthy way. You can grow, you can process, you can change, you can evolve. It’s a much more gentle approach than expecting you’ll be a completely new human with no baggage.

Let’s try to look for new opportunities to grow and change as we start this new year. And guess what? You don’t need a new year to do this, you can do this at anytime you feel ready. Instead of thinking you’ll be a completely different person, look for ways to progress, to handle situations in a healthier way, to treat yourself in a gentler way. Those are goals that will not fail you✨✨

12/28/2023

Take it from me, who spent Christmas alone and sick in a hotel room😬It’s easy to look on social media and feel like everyone else is having the time of their lives. Social media is only a snapshot of someone’s life. There’s always more to the story. And again, take it from me, if you’re not in this mindset it’s better to stay off social media.

12/15/2023

Do you avoid the painful emotions in your life? The heartbreak, the rejection, the sadness? Push it down, shove it down, bury, ignore it. These are all very common reactions: minimize, avoid, reject, the hard and painful feelings. When these reactions become a pattern it becomes problematic. Scroll through this post and let me know what you think💛

12/13/2023

Somewhere along the way, magical and perfect have gotten intermingled. We’ve started quantifying what magic means. Things will feel magical when we’ve bought this number of presents, made this number of cookies, went to this number of Christmas activities. If we get things JUST right, we’ll experience this magic. Or we’ll create magic for someone else if we can find the perfect combination of presents and experiences and mood.

Instead of looking for perfection, try looking for moments of magic. They could be big, they could be small. But I’m willing to bet putting pressure on yourself to be perfect, isn’t going to help you find them🤍

Have you had moments of magic this season? Share them in the comments✨

12/11/2023

A thread of wisdom I’ve gathered from social media in the last week. I know these reminders are incredibly timely for me in this complex holiday season. Which one did you most need to hear? Let me know in the comments 🫶

11/23/2023

A Thanksgiving encouragement from me to you: all of your feelings can coexist. We can take a time like Thanksgiving and say, “look on the bright side”, “stay positive”, “think about all the good”. Those phrases don’t acknowledge the very real emotions you are experiencing. What can happen when you don’t allow all your emotions space is you feel invalidated, unheard, you bottle things up and ultimately that leads to feeling worse.

You can be worried, anxious, scared, sad AND feel grateful. Give yourself permission to process all of your feelings, even the ones that feel at odds with each other. Process, release, let them go. And then do it all over again🧡

11/22/2023

As you think about what you are grateful for, consider this thought. Feeling like you “should” be grateful actually makes gratitude feel hollow. Forcing yourself to feel grateful, is not a true gratitude practice.

Reflect on what really connects with you today, in this moment. It doesn’t matter how big or how small, what matters is: it matters to you🤍✨

11/20/2023

11/17/2023

A non-exhaustive compilation of my thoughts on dealing with family dynamics, just in time for Thanksgiving. What part of this do you need to work on this holiday season? Let me know in the comments 🫶

11/06/2023

What post stands out to you? Share with me in the comments🫶

11/03/2023

If you want space for more, if you want feel things to feel different, that involves letting go. You might think of the practical things you need to let go of. Often what we you need to let go of first is the beliefs that are keeping you stuck. Let me know what beliefs you need to let go of, to help you move forward 🫶

11/01/2023

Anyone else feeling as confused as me that it’s November 1st😱Anxiety and dread about the colder and darker days has been a big theme the past week in therapy sessions. Don’t forget that there are ways to support yourself through this transition. I’d love to hear what you’d add in the comments🤍🤍

10/25/2023

Do you beat yourself up for having a big reaction to just a tiny thing? Scroll through this post and remember it’s not just one thing. It’s a culmination of all these small moments. And sometimes like now, it’s the weight of everything going on in the world and it’s the little things that bring it all up. Let me know what connects with you in the comments 🤍

10/23/2023

The theme of this week: there is no theme. Being a human is messy. Showing up on social media is messy. Trying to do all this amidst so much suffering in the world is really messy. Here is my messy, made you look Monday. I hope one makes you feel seen today🫶Let me know if it did in the comments.

❤️

10/22/2023

For when everything feels heavy….

So much pain and suffering happening in ourselves, our communities, country and world. Our bodies take that tension in. I want to pass along a note to check in with your body and your mind. You can stay tuned in to the world, advocate AND take care of yourself. In my experience you can’t stay tuned in and continue advocating long term without taking care of yourself too. These things are interconnected.

Taking care of yourself can start with something as simple as this post, noticing and releasing tension.

❤️

10/18/2023

There is not a limit on suffering. You repressing your emotions and struggles, is not going to help the person who is suffering more than you. Perspective can be helpful but only when it does not include shame🫶

Let me know what you’d add to this conversation in the comments.

10/16/2023

Still struggling with how to show up on social media. This made you look Monday, it feels appropriate and helpful to share the posts that have helped me process. Hope they give you some level of support too🫶

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10/15/2023

In light of all the terror and pain and loss in the last week, I want to remind you that your behavior, how you’ve coped, how you’ve processed, makes sense. What you learned from your family of origin, your culture, faith systems etc. often pops up again in stressful times. Even if you’ve done a lot of self work, old behaviors and ways of thinking may of popped up this week. Scroll through this post and I hope it helps normalize and “make sense” of how you’ve been feeling 🫶

10/10/2023

The world is heavy. I don’t have the answers. I do have the things that support me in times of collective tragedy. Feel free to share what supports you🫶

10/02/2023

Made you look Monday. Favorite posts from the last week that remind me: we’re all human. We all get to take up space. We are more than what we can provide for others. Let me know which post stands out to you in the comments🫶

10/02/2023

Loved the work Kelly did for us😍

09/28/2023

This is a constant work in progress for me. I am not the most patient person. Giving things time, remembering it’s a process, are reminders I’m always coming back to. That might be with healing, changing patterns, starting new habits or in this case for me: moving homes. It👏🏻takes👏🏻time👏🏻

Who else needs this reminder?

09/27/2023

Being a therapist can be weird….in many ways but here’s the weird I mean today⬇️

This work has created in me a deep belief in humanity. I have seen the complexity, messiness and beauty in people because of all the wonderful folks I have worked with.

It has also created in me a skepticism of people because I know the deepest hurts, pains, abuse and trauma that folks have went through.

And holding both the hope for humanity, knowing all the good inside people while holding the skepticism knowing how much pain people can cause and knowing often times we as humans do both things, can be a lot. And today was one of those days I felt this deeply.

09/25/2023

I like starting off Monday this way…with reminders that you’re human. The world tells you to rise and grind on Monday, hit the ground running, get off to a good start. And this is my small way of resisting that typical monday energy. Let me know what posts made you look in the comments 🤍👀

09/18/2023

Made you look Monday….where I share posts from the week that have made me look twice. I hope they resonate with you too, let me know what connects with you in the comments 🫶

09/11/2023

Made you look Monday….

Every Monday (ish) because I’m all about embracing being a human with limits…I’m sharing posts that ground me in being human, that remind me my worth is not in what I produce and that point to the systems around me that have created the unrealistic expectation to be able to do it all.

I think they’ll resonate with you too, let me know🤍

09/04/2023

Trying out something new “made you look, monday” how’s that for a catchy title?😉

Every Monday…or let’s be honest maybe every other because I’m all about embracing being a human with limits. It’s more like: On Mondays when I have the capacity, I’ll share posts that have made me look twice. Posts that ground me in being human, that remind me my worth is not in what I produce and that point to the systems around me that have created the unrealistic expectation to be able to do it all. I think they’ll resonate with you too, let me know🤍

09/01/2023

Somehow, someway it’s September 1st😳🫠 It’s bittersweet to think of another summer coming to a close and the fullness that the school calendar and fall bring for me. While part of me feels ready, another part of me is feeling dread coming in. Have you too?

I’m sharing some thoughts that I hope will help as you navigate this transition, I know they help me as I work through this dread.

If you have thoughts that have helped you, share in the comments🤍