The Grief & Trauma Recovery Counseling Centre

08/10/2024

Love is forever. Love never dies. We still love every person we have ever loved. Grieving is about letting go of attachment to the person, not about letting go of them, or the love we feel for them. We will always love them. We will always shed a tear of love when we think of them. We just won’t be attached to them anymore. We won’t be needy. We won’t need them to live a meaningful life. That’s how you know you’ve completed your grieving.
Dirk Wright Grief Educator on Quora

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05/15/2024

01/10/2024

"One of the grubby truths about a loss is that you don't just mourn the dead person, you mourn the person you got to be when the lost one was alive. This loss might even be what affects you the most."

- Meghan O'Rourke, The Long Goodbye

11/15/2023

I know it hurts.
It’s a very strange feeling how someone can be in your life for months or even years and then one day ... all of a sudden not be there anymore.
Maybe the relationship ended on good terms.... or maybe it was completely catastrophic.
Either way .... it’s so bizarre how relationships can change so vast and rapidly.
And you know what .... you may not be at peace with what happened between the two of you ... and thats perfectly fine.
Sometimes the end of a relationship can literally be one of the hardest things we go through in life.
I want you to know it’s okay that your heart still hurts because of what happened.
You have made alot of memories with this person.
And these memories that you have made is something you can’t erase no matter how hard you try.
Whether you like it or not, they are a part of your story.
I know looking on these memories can be hard, and you may wish you could forget them.
But instead of forgetting, maybe we should try to focus on what came from the relationship.
You two joined paths for a particular reason.
Maybe you walked through some of the hardest times together.
Maybe you understood each other in a way no one else ever did.
Maybe you encouraged one another to be strong or to embrace who you genuinely were as a person.
Or maybe your relationship with them opened your eyes to what you truly needed in your life.
Regardless of what the reasoning was, it’s okay to acknowledge that .... that person meant a lot to you.
And it's okay if they still do.
It’s also okay that they aren’t in your life anymore.
What alot of people dont understand is, not every relationship we encounter will last a lifetime.
You shouldn't be lingering in the past questioning why everything happened the way it did.
What you need to do .... is to take what you've learned from that relationship and move forward in your life.
Knowing there are other relationships that will give you exactly what you've always dreamed of and more.
I need you to know that you're not going to feel this way forever.
You will continue to move forward and you will continue to grow with everyday that passes.
Take my advice and remember ....
Sometimes the people you wanted as part of your story, are only meant to be a chapter.
~ Cody Bret

10/26/2023

Some days are really hard. And when grieving a heartbreaking loss, there's no way to avoid having really hard days.
There will be days when it doesn't matter what you do, the sadness will consume you and sink into your bones.
There will be days when no amount of distraction or trying to stay busy will take the pain away. Days when you can't be cheered up and out of your grief. Days when it's tough to find gratitude.
And on those difficult days, it can feel like your world is crashing down and like you will never come back from loss that dismantled your heart. Piece by piece.
I get it. And it's important to recognize that you will have extra hard days. Days when nothing seems to numb the sadness or fill the void that sits in your heart and soul.
It's normal to have those days. And you can have hard days even if several months or even years have passed by.
On those extra hard days, give yourself grace. Let the sadness come and sit inside of the pain. Don't push your grief away or try to contain it.
Both your sadness and grief are here for a reason and it deserves to be seen, heard, and felt.
I'm sorry you're hurting and I know how hard some days can be.
It's nothing to take lightly and you deserve to be supported and loved.
You need to honor your grief and try to get extra rest. Talk about your pain and don't hide your grief away.
This is your grief journey and there's no one right way to grieve. There's only your way and please don't get discouraged when you feel like you have days that set you back or feel too heavy to carry.
Remember - grief ebbs and flows. It rises and falls.
You won't always feel as awful as you do right now. And when the hard days come - you will get through them and survive. One breath at a time.