The more you know……..
by Dr. K. Hixson
Individual, Couple, Family & Group Counseling for Adolescents, Adults and Seniors
The more you know……..
by Dr. K. Hixson
I appreciated being a part of this story. AARP is such a holistic organization. So happy to see that they care so much about our older generation’s mental health!
In-person holiday celebrations are set to resume now that many are vaccinated — which can positively impact emotional and mental health.
Let’s start something new in the New Year!
Now accepting new clients for January 2022!
I recommend living in the middle......
To my Clients......Present/Past/Future.........
(This letter was found after searching for a Thanksgiving image. It was so perfect. Thank you Dr. Colleen Reichmann for your words. I could not have written it better.....)
Where do I begin? I’ve received countless letters, messages and emails from you. Yet, I have never had the honor of writing one back. This is because it simply isn’t done.
I am supposed to listen but not share. I am the keeper of secrets, the person whom you become raw and vulnerable with every week. I am to hold this rawness, offer empathy and tools in exchange, but tell you very little about myself while doing so. There is to be a clear and definitive hierarchy. You are to leave wondering if you had an impact or if I ever think about you. When our relationship ends, you are to ponder whether I will remember you down the road.
OK now lean in close because here is the important part. This dance is full of smoke and mirrors, and I’m about to clear the smokescreen. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb when I say you may have realized by now that I am human. The jig is up! Let’s get real. When we sit together, and you open up about your darkest thoughts, your fears and your struggles. I feel it, and I am immensely, eternally, grateful.
You thank me often. You thank me after sessions. You thank me when we end our work together. Sometimes, you even thank me years later when we meet in passing! What I always feel in my heart, the words that are always jumping to my lips when I hear this are, “No, thank you.”
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to sit with you while you are vulnerable. In a true testament to the human spirit, you show up when you feel weak. You decide that life is meant to be lived in color damn it. Then, remarkably, you continue to come back to talk with me, raw and thawing from whatever was keeping you numb and in the black and white.
Even though you quickly realize that therapy is like frostbite, that it hurts as it heals, as it thaws, you show up. Vulnerable. Raw. Thawing. Thank you for allowing me the very opportunity to sit across from you while you do this demanding work.
Thank you for showing me the true tenacity of the human spirit. Most people go to work to endure a soul-crushing eight-hour day staring at a computer screen. I get to go to work to witness the genuine strength that lies within each and every human being who walks this earth.
Every hour with each of you throughout the day shows me that we triumph and warrior on, throughout the most punishing and painful parts of this journey that we call life. Some hours this triumph is softer. Some hours it is a bellowing roar, but it is always there. Thank you for reminding me of this day in and day out.
Thank you for teaching me so much. I learn from you all every single day. I always say I feel like my brain is expanding all the time from the wisdom I gain from you. You are the world’s leading expert on yourself, after all. Each time we meet, you share your insights that you have garnered through your own journey with me. Whatever demons you may face (and they run the gamut from eating disorders, to trauma, to low self-esteem, to perfectionism), you entrust me with your thoughts and observations that you have picked up about this battle along the way. Thank you for letting me in on this invaluable wisdom. You often innately know so much more than you give yourself credit for.
Thank you for trusting me to hold the hope when things feel dark. At times, I have described my job as “the holder of hope.” So often you come to me when things are darkest. These are the times when it is most difficult for you to feel hopeful for yourself. I know. So I hold this hope for you and you let me! You let me do this while we walk forward together. Over time, you take your hope back, little by little. Then, all at once. Honestly, how cool right? To be the holder of your hope for a few steps in your journey? I cannot fathom a better job than this. I am eternally thankful for you and your hope.
So the smokescreen has been pulled. Voilà! You now know the secret of secrets, that I am immeasurably grateful, to the depths of my heart, for the opportunity to walk a small piece of your journey with you. I am so honored. This is a secret I should have never kept to myself.
So the next time you thank me, you can bet I’ll say it right back (and now you’ll understand why.)
Thank You. Thankful for you.
Anxiety! Anxiety. Anxiety? Do you feel it? Do you notice it creeping in lately? If you do, you wouldn’t be the only one right now. NPR just released this link with educational cartoons and a 14 minute audio about anxiety during these times of pandemic and unrest. I highly recommend you take a look and a listen.
And as always, if you need someone to help process all of this- I can help with that!
Between the coronavirus and the election, the news is overwhelming right now. Neuroscientist Judson Brewer can help. Take a break from the headlines and press play.
Women are not “crazy”. Women are not “clingy”. Women should not be feared in the dating world. Women......know yourself! Be honest with yourself and how you feel. I have a lot of female clients that try to “talk themselves into” casual s*x despite the fact that after s*x is involved, casual is the farthest from the way they feel. Let’s respect women and their unique & awesome biology. Delaying s*x in dating can be inconvienent in a world full of instant gratification however- if you are serious about finding the “one” versus the “one right now”......notice what might be working against you, if a physical relationship is involved too soon.
If you’re all about the “right now”.....carry on 🙂 But always be true to yourself. Check in on the day after. Does this really feel ok?
Anxiety. The regular kind and all the others too ❤️ I can help with that.
Does your therapist recommend journaling? I know I do! Do you wonder what to put in your journal? How to start and end each day? What’s important to track? Here is a guided journal that you can purchase from Amazon for under $20 that will get you on your way! Refocusing therapy sessions by sharing with your therapist what happens BETWEEN sessions is so important! Keeping track of goals. Recognizing patterns. Appreciating “aha!” moments. Focusing on gratitude. We all live in a world that is fast paced and mindless, at times. 5 minutes in the AM, 5 minutes before bed. A wonderful way to begin and end you day. Create some daily mindfulness. Try it! It’s one of the simplest things you can do for your mental health!
The 5 Second Journal: The Best Daily Journal and Fastest Way to Slow Down, Power Up, and Get Sh*t Done
No fancy clothes. Limited makeup. Hair still partially wet from this morning. One take. No filter. 100% vulnerability. Here’s a few words from a local therapist (that’s me!) in Rochester, NY about appreciating this, otherwise very underwhelming, day in May.
Here Brene Brown talks about an FFT (F*cking First Times) that is on everyone’s minds right now. How do we hold space, support ourselves, and concurrently support others through a pandemic? This is a first for all of us. A F*cking First!!! There are a lot of feelings kicked up. Normalize that. It’s true. Listen......and take care of you. 🙏
The first Unlocking Us podcast is here! Along with the excitement of sending this into the world, I’m feeling equal doses of fear, awkwardness, and vulnerability.
Due to ongoing changes in CDC recommendations- I have made the switch to utilizing virtual means to provide mental health care at this time.
For Apple users- I am using FaceTime for your session times. I will call in to you at our designated session time.
For Android users- I am using the Google Duo platform.
For virtual therapy, I recommend treating our time together similarly as if we were meeting in the office. Find a confidential space that you are able to dedicate 50 minutes of uninterrupted time in continuing our work together. For some, this is difficult as loved ones are now working from home and completing school at home. I have had some utilize their car for therapy as it was the only space that afforded them privacy, and it worked very well!
We are all in this together! Stay healthy! Stay at home! I will be posting some awesome mindfulness activities to use at home during the next several weeks. Keep checking Facebook for additional information.
A wonderfully grounded article on a hot topic.
Coronavirus news stories and prevention guidelines can trigger bouts of intense anxiety and compulsive behavior.
A huge theme in therapy of late has been the ending of relationships. It’s a really difficult time of year for many of us, and additionally if you might be grieving the loss of a relationship- it makes it even more complicated.
Listen....I get it. Whether or not that relationship was a romantic one, a family one or a friendship one.....it’s tough to let go. You are soulfully tied, as you were able to be vulnerable enough to connect with that individual at some point in your life. You let down your guard, you invited them in....and then either they left or you told them you needed to let them go.
I hear more and more of my clients tell me why it’s important to keep that person in their lives “I want to be able to be friends” or “I know it’s over but I keep checking on them- through social media or other friends and family”. It’s so much harder to make a clean break in today’s world.
Now that you have decided that it has ended.....what do you do? Here’s a wonderful article that utilizes mindfulness as a tool in starting to “let go” of a previous relationship that you still feel tied to. Even if the relationship wasn’t a “bad” one- there is a reason that it doesn’t belong in your present or future.
And yes- as always, therapy can help with that ❤️
Imagine the freedom you'll have once you have broken your bond with this person and let them go.
When talking to my clients, here are a few common things that I hear when they talk to me about their drinking habits:
“I got black out drunk a few times this week. But I’m in college- that’s normal, right?”
“I pretty much drink Wed-Sunday..That’s what everyone does. ”
“I can’t even imagine what social things I would do if I didn’t drink.”
“I rely on drinking to get me through all this online dating nonsense.”
“People prefer me when I’m drunk. I’m so stressed out and uptight otherwise.”
“I drove when I knew I shouldn’t, but I won’t let that happen again- I swear. I know my limits.”
“What do people do to manage their anxiety and stress after work if they didn’t have a few cocktails each night?”
“Jenn- drinking is involved in everything I do. What would people think if I just suddenly went somewhere and didn’t enjoy a drink with them?”
A great article to ponder......
My struggle with alcohol, and how giving it up was the best thing I've ever done. My number one lesson: you don't have to be an alcoholic to realize booze is hurting your life.
Trauma informed care.......Do you know what that is? It’s so important to inquire about the model of care that your therapist is working from when you receive a referral to start therapy. If your therapist hasn’t been trained in this model- you might spend a great deal of session time focused on symptoms/behavior during your treatment. Start HEALING from the CAUSE! Make sure your therapist is trauma informed.
This summer has been a busy one at Healing Path! So busy that for awhile- my caseload has been full and I have not able to accept any new clients 😢👎. I LOVE meeting new clients and the start of new relationships and bringing new possibilities into my office 🤗👍. It was a bummer to have to suspend new referrals. However..... (drum roll please 🥁)
I am happy to announce that at this time-
I AM currently accepting new clients into my practice 👏. Interested in starting therapy? Now is the time!!! Fall is the time for transformation. The PERFECT time to work on some of those things you’ve been avoiding. Give my office a call today.
What no longer serves you? Need help sorting through? Therapy can help with that!
Therapy can help you take a look at the environment in which you are growing. Is it time for some attention in that area so that you are able to evolve into your next best self? I can help with that.
This is a truly wonderful list. (P.S.- #8 shouldn’t be surprising.......)
I think it has something to do with the fact that therapists are in a position to fully accept who you really are because we don't need anything from you.
A wonderful read about the bonded experience with mind and body. If you think your thoughts can’t manifest into somatic experiences......I hate to tell you......they absolutely can. And WHERE they manifest is also very telling.
Your mind and body aren't two separate entities. They work together in relationship. Check out this graphic of our body's emotional energy centers to see how.
Raising a teenager? Raising a teenage girl? The book “Untangled- Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions Into Adulthood” by Psychologist Lisa Damour is a must read! I knew it when I flipped only four pages into the book and got goosebumps when I read this quote from Anna Freud....🙌
How does your life feel to YOU?
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
– Melody Beattie
Monday morning inspiration ❤️
Finish this statement.....”It’s the most __________ time of the year”. Hopeful that most will fill in the blank with the word WONDERFUL however some will fill in with “hurried, overwhelming, stressful, over-scheduled”.
October- December are a flurry of activity. Holidays, commitments......lots and lots of commitments. Oh yes- and an increase in family and friend interactions. Which for some- can be a major trigger.
Why not work to untangle your brain? So many activities lead to so many jumbled thoughts. Give yourself a gift & try creating a meditation practice for yourself. Here are some FREE apps with FREE resources that can help! The brain is an instrument- make sure it’s not playing YOU.
We scoured the app stores to find the most popular, educational, and easy-to-use mindfulness apps that are available for free.
Failure is a building block to success. The “story” is that if I fail at something- it must mean I am bad at “it” and I shouldn’t do “it” and I’m not good enough for “it”. Here’s a different way of looking at things ❤️
Today I met another one of my heroes. No cape. No super powers. A regular human being with a heart beat like you or I. These people walk among us.....they ARE us.
You see......most of the heroes that I have looked up to in my life thus far are my clients. That’s right. MY CLIENTS. I get a unique opportunity to work very intimately with people and their stories. Stories that sometimes are never told in public- never shared with another human in the way that people feel that they can express themselves in therapy.
Each individual comes into my office with a heartache. With a challenge. With strife and all sorts of things that life has thrown at them. Things that should CRUSH them. That should ANNIHILATE them. It’s amazing how much people go through in their lifetime. Absolutely mind blowing. And at the core of these stories is resilience and my ability to witness this word in its most pure and organic way is amazing. I have to remind them of this amazing gift that they have as it’s usually lost behind the “I’m not good enough’s” or the “I should have known better’s”.
A woman that lost her child. A teen battling cancer. A man whose life was tipped upside down as his wife leaves their marriage and their children for another. A deserving daughter who is desperate for the love of her mother- who has only love for herself. A son whose only wish is to please his parents but the threshold of “good enough” is moved in every situation.
These clients struggle. And do you know what else they do? They LIVE. They learn to move through it and LIVE. They decide to become teachers. They volunteer at their local pet shelters. They create self-made businesses. They treat their own kids with the dignity, respect and love that they wished they received from their own parents. They are resilient. And they are my heroes. And I love my job with every fiber in my being. Namaste 🙏. I see you. I honor you.
Is this what you say to yourself every morning? Or does your internal dialogue force the alternate story- that somehow you are lacking and need to be more, to be different, to be more like that one over there....yes there. Not the one in the mirror- the one whose Facebook status that you constantly notice and compare yourself to, the neighbor that seems to have it all together, that guy in the cubicle next to yours that gets more attention from your boss, the skinner/prettier/fitter/healthier/luckier/richer individual. All those thoughts and energy we spend on wishing ourselves away. What if instead we taped this mantra to our mirror and celebrated our uniqueness and wholeness every day? Celebrated our “enough-ness”. What a refreshing thought........ 🤗
A great read! Is therapy “working” for you?
Experts break down what progress looks like.
Thank you Dwayne Johnson. The more we talk about mental illness, the more we can heal and move through mental illness. I am constantly in awe of celebrities that are vulnerable enough to use their celebrity status for good. And not just the good that raises money for a cause or wears a ribbon to a fancy party- good meaning normalizing the way people see themselves. If you have ever struggled with depression, you can read Dwayne’s words and it could be like reading a bit of your own story. There is help for you! “Have faith that at the other side of your pain is something good.”
"Have faith that on the other side of your pain is something good."
Did you know that we all speak a different love language and if our partner speaks another- we often times feel disconnected in a relationship? Never fear! Get your partner, grab some wine and take this quick free love language quiz! When we share our love languages, and start to show love to our partner in a language they understand, we are able to have deeper and more meaningful connections! And if your relationship still feels “stuck”- it’s time for a relationship tune up. Therapy can be a wonderful tool in reconnecting and renegotiating the relationship that you deserve.
Esther Perel......Unapologetic. Relationship Realist. Authentic. Dynamic. Soul shaking.
I spent the day absorbing how therapists should focus on really understanding the unique evolution of marriage. The union that used to be based souly on economic enterprise and now has transitioned to be based almost completely on emotional enterprise. So many “makes so much sense” moments. I can’t wait to devour her new book & listen to her many podcasts that are available for FREE on Amazon. Highly recommend to all.
Esther Perel....”The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity”. Esther....I can’t thank you enough for the new insight that I gained on modern relationships. My own, my clients, my friends & my family’s. Here’s one little nugget out of a million.
95 Allens Creek Road, Bldg 2, Ste 17
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