Doula Gemma

06/24/2023

This.

As the doula, I find I often hear the longer answer back….. and I am so grateful to hear it because holy moly, it’s so important to be able to voice the truth and I know most of the time, new parents aren’t going into the details with people. I feel so lucky to be trusted.

It’s complicated. Parenthood is the messiest journey.

My friend messaged me after I had a baby, “how are you?” her message read.

I responded,

“It’s harder than I thought, some moments I’m swept up in the beauty of motherhood, others I’m dragging myself around in a coffee-stained dressing gown with unwashed hair.

I know people say to take some time out for me, but in this season of being so needed I don’t know how.
I’m more tired than I ever imagined, though I could trace their tiny features for hours, I could watch the way a sneeze crinkles their eyes and takes them by surprise.

But I also feel a little lost at times, yet they are a seed in my bones, and I have never been more found.
Some days I sit in shadows and other’s the light fills me up inside and together we grow and grow.

My body aches, from birth, for the girl I once was, for sleep, for their scent. The shower feels like a break, though I always feel hurried.

Makes no sense, does it?

Some days I feel as if I’m not achieving much and yet I am rushed off my feet. Years can pass through these four walls in mere minutes.
My mind is all over the place, I want to press pause and yet I am already in awe of who they’re becoming.

We’re still figuring this whole thing out together, and yet it’s like I’ve known them forever. I feel a new type of wholeness, of being complete, but some days I just feel empty,

does this make any sense?

I’d love some time alone, but I am entangled in them, and yet that’s how I want it. My heart would be fumbling around in the dark without them. That’s another thing I wanted to tell you.. I’ve never thought with my heart so much, I’ve never seen so much with it either.

I’m not ready to have visitors just yet, but I miss you, I really do.
Thanks for checking in.”

But I didn’t.

Instead, I told her we were great, my baby was simply a dream, and that we couldn’t wait to see her.
Then I hit send.

Jess Urlichs
Art: Art to Remember

03/27/2023

Happy Monday! PSA for all you tired breastfeeding parents!

Need that boost? Know the basics. ☕️☕️☕️

03/15/2023

This is often not discussed and yet, it’s a really big deal!!!

You have a new baby and there are so many things that demand your attention. Your sexuality and intimacy often becomes an afterthought. Or worse, a point of guilt, contention, or stress for you and your partner. Join us to learn ways to build connection while increasing intimacy, pleasure, and fun!

03/14/2023

Winning. This. Day!

Advanced Maternal Age ✨

Studies have found that advanced maternal age was associated with improved health and development for children up to age 5! Older maternal age was associated with fewer behavioral, social, and emotional difficulties in children. Researchers found that women who were able to have their last child after the age 33 are more likely to live to 95. They are actually twice as likely to live to 95 or older than those who had their last child before their 30th birthday!

✨ How old were you when you had your last baby?

03/07/2023

💪💪💪💪

When I was nursing my first little one, we had a black Chevy Nova and there was a whole lot of milk spray on the dashboard. It was clear that milk didn’t just come out from one single hole. You may have noticed this, too.⁠

But years ago, midwives at The Farm in Tennessee, enrolled in nursing school, were told by an OB that milk does come out of just one hole. Amongst them, several were breastfeeding, so they showed him – it’s a spray.⁠

It's easy to be convinced that the person in the white coat knows more about how your body works than you do- even when you know they are plain wrong. This story is a classic example of what I call "medsplaining" -a form of medical gaslighting. But you know your body better than anyone else. You are the expert, you are the authority.⁠

What I love about this story is that it reminds us that it’s the experienced women - the mothers and grandmothers who have done this before - that can often teach us the most. If our own bodies are the library; each other's are the university.⁠

If you are a pregnant or new mama I encourage you to reach out to the experienced mamas, the grandmothers, and aunts, the healers, the wise women and sages in your circle. The women who have walked this path ahead of you - sometimes three, four, five times - so that they can tell you where it gets steep, where the pitfalls are, where to stop, rest, replenish. You don't have to carve your own trail when there are hundreds and thousands of footsteps to follow.⁠ I’m here for you, too.

And please continue to turn to the wise women for support and remember to trust your knowledge as well- we each have our own inner wise woman to consult ❤️.

📷

12/18/2022

I speak to this point in my client prenatals….. “sometimes what I do is nothing.”

Walk into a room while I am supporting a birth and you might think that I am just sitting there doing nothing. I won’t be talking. I won’t be touching the client. I won’t be using anything in my bag.

So what am I doing exactly?

🪑 Watching mom’s breathing and sometimes breathing loudly alongside her to remind her to slow down her breath

🪑 Scanning mom’s body during the contraction to make sure that she isn’t holding any tension

🪑 Monitoring the temperature and lighting to create the peaceful environment that she desires

🪑 Calculating how long it has been since she emptied her bladder

🪑 Thinking about how long she has been in her current position and thinking about the next position that she might try

🪑 Timing contractions to see if they are longer, stronger and closer together

🪑 Thinking about when mom and her partner last had a snack

🪑 Reviewing her preferences to make sure that everything is going according to her plan

🪑 Giving the couple space to connect on an intimate level (allowing for oxytocin) and/or guiding the partner to be the lead support

🪑 Updating notes and capturing labor flow

Sometimes just being fully present is enough. Sometimes just knowing I am there in close proximity is all mom needs to be able to relax and focus on what she needs to do. Sometimes just holding space for them in an unbiased manner allows for a noticeable shift in the energy of the room.

And the list goes on….

Source

12/18/2022

Truth!!!

“"Put them in water or take them outside.” It was the first useful parenting advice I ever got. “Sleep when the baby sleeps”? I think the polite word for that gem is poppycock. But this particular axiom has saved me many times over.

I don’t remember how old my son was when I called my mom in tears because I couldn’t stop his, but his age was probably measured in weeks. Maybe days. “Nothing is working; I don’t know what else to try,” I sobbed. “He’s not hungry or sleepy or wet.” “Try giving him a bath,” she suggested. “Or bundle him up and take him outside for some fresh air. I always say to take them outside or put them in water, and usually, the grumpiness goes away.” It worked that day, and it’s worked many times since. We’ve done baths at 10 a.m. I’ve paced our driveway with a baby in my arms at 2 a.m. And today, at 5:15 p.m. when my children were fighting for the 17th time since they got home from school and I was about to lose it, instead I put one in the bath and I sent the other outside and now maybe all three of us will survive until Dad gets home.

Almost nine years later, it still works.

I can’t give you advice about sleep schedules or feedings or Montessori-approved toys. I don’t know what we’re gonna do about Tik Tok and Snapchat in a few years. But when they’re falling apart at the seams for no apparent reason, take them outside or put them in water.

Oh, and it works on grown-ups, too."

We love this! 💖

📷+📝: By Jenn Batchelor on insta

12/15/2022

Happy Thursday people!

❤️

12/12/2022

"You will eventually relax into this. I promise.

One grey afternoon, you'll be making dinner, whilst your ridiculously cute three-year-old sous-chef sits atop the kitchen counter, crumbling oxo cubes and sniffing thyme.

With one arm cautiously holding him in place and the other haphazardly grating cheese, you'll finally feel at home in this not-so-new skin of yours.

You'll hand him a secret slice of cheddar and jokingly whisper "Shhh!" the same way that your dad used to.

He'll look up at you, face beaming, delighted with his unexpected tidbit.

It hits you. You're enjoying this.

Finally all the other stuff, that once felt so immediate, will start to leave you.

The tiredness. Oh, the tiredness that you thought would haunt you forever.

The constant doubting of your own ability, that you thought would never leave you alone.

The fear that you will never, ever, get the hang of this.

Because, you will, my love.

Not every day. But some of the days and that is a welcome breakthrough.

And all the rest will slowly fade into the deep recesses, until the enduring feeling you're left with is "I love you. I love you. I love you".

(Today was a good day)."

📷 : photo of

12/06/2022

Sad update.

https://www.cpsc.gov/About-CPSC/Commissioner/Richard-Trumka/Statement/Dockatot-Deluxe-is-Unsafe-for-Sleep-CPSC-Issues-Notice-of-Violation?fbclid=IwAR1QCPjt44ws9amA3Vp6y74q8QIWeDunmGVFIIVUJYV6UCMOVXNxUPK0O38&mibextid=Zxz2cZ

RT-Press-Release-on-Dockatot.pdf (174.69 KB) November 09, 2022 It is unsafe for your baby to sleep in a DockATot Deluxe+; immediately discontinue its use. There are publicly available reports of infant deaths associated with the product. CPSC has notified DockATot that it cannot import, distribute,....