Dr. Stephanie Olarte- Slow Down Psychology

04/23/2025

What if the shame you carry as a parent isn’t actually yours? What if EMDR could help you put it down?

Swipe through to see how healing the parent changes everything.

And read one story that gave me chills (and a few tears): slowdownpsych.com/newsletter

This is the work I live for.
The deep, nervous-system-level, soul-level work.
The kind that doesn’t just help your kid—but helps you, too.

04/11/2025

Your child’s bedroom wall tells a story:

Star charts.
Reward systems.
Behavior trackers.
Token economies.
Visual schedules.

Each one started with hope.
Each one ended in tears.
(Both yours and theirs)

Because behind every new system
was a message you never meant to send:
“You need to be fixed.”

And children?
They’re masters at reading between the lines.

So while you see a gold star waiting to be earned,
they feel the weight of “I’m not good enough.”

While you track “good” vs “bad” days,
they internalize “I’m the bad kid.”

While you document triggers and patterns,
they sense your anxiety that something’s wrong with them.

Here’s the painful truth:
Your desperate need to “fix” isn’t just exhausting you.
It’s convincing your child they’re broken.

But what if...
The path forward isn’t another system?
What if it’s in letting go of the fixing?
What if it’s in the quiet acceptance that says:
“You’re not a problem to be solved.
You’re a person to be understood.”

Because when you release that tension of needing to fix...
Your child releases something too:
The belief that they need fixing.

And this is the first step to helping them -and YOU - develop emotional resilience with meltdown triggers and learning to resolve them playfully - versus succumbing to another destructive meltdown.

I have a free training video that gives you the strategy for going from multiple meltdowns a day - to zero (or a few per month) . Comment VIDEO and I’ll send it to you.

04/05/2025

You know that tension in your shoulders around 2:45pm...
When you start bracing yourself for the afterschool storm?

Your body remembers yesterday's meltdown.
And the day before.
And last week's epic battle that left you both in tears.

Here's what we rarely talk about:
Your child's nervous system is reading yours like a book.

When you're anticipating the next explosion...
When you're walking on eggshells...
When you're mentally rehearsing how to handle the next outburst...

You're unknowingly creating the perfect conditions for exactly what you're trying to avoid.

It's like pouring gasoline on a house fire.

But what if the key isn't another strategy or consequence?
What if it's something simpler?

What if learning to shift your own state - from tense to playful, from braced to curious - could be the first stage to break the cycle?

Because your child might not have the words for it yet, but they can feel when you're expecting the worst.

And that expectation? It's the invisible thread that keeps pulling you both back into the meltdown cycle.

Ready to learn how to break free? I have a free training that shows you the exact 5 shifts to make to begin healing your home. Comment VIDEO and I'll send it over.

03/27/2025

Some kids come into my office to organize their thoughts on the chaos that surrounds them. Others come in to make sense of the chaos within them. And some just need a safe space to engage with the chaos by demolishing what's there.

03/26/2025

Let’s be honest: your kid hates that enrichment class. And you kinda hate being their unpaid Uber.

But you keep signing them up.

Because what if this is the thing that finally helps?
What if not doing enough is the reason they’re struggling?

Meanwhile, your sanity is evaporating.
You’re bleeding money.
And your relationship with your kid feels like a war zone.

Here’s the truth:
No activity can replace a regulated, connected parent.
And if your tank is empty, it’s not selfish to step back.
It’s smart.

📬 This week’s newsletter pulls back the curtain on “protective” parenting strategies that quietly backfire.
And what to do instead.
Read it here → slowdownpsych.com/newsletter

03/25/2025

🌪 When Parenting Feels Like Trauma 🌪

You knew parenting would be hard—but this?

Walking on eggshells. Dreading the next meltdown.

Holding your breath when you set a boundary, afraid it’ll explode into chaos.

And the guilt? The shame? Crushing. Especially when everyone around you acts like it's your fault.

You’ve worked so hard to keep it all together on the outside.

But inside? You’re exhausted. Worn thin. On the verge of breaking.

💔 Here’s the truth no one talks about:
Parenting an emotionally explosive child can be traumatic.
And you deserve support too.

If this hit you in the gut, you're not alone—and you're not a bad parent.

There's a path forward. One where you can breathe again.

Where you show up with calm, confidence, and connection—no matter how big the emotions get.

🌱 EMDR therapy can help you heal the trauma of parenting, so your nervous system doesn’t live in panic mode.

It’s not just about surviving. It’s about finally feeling safe again—in your home, in your body, and in your role as a parent.

📍Serving Rockville, MD and surrounding areas.
You don’t have to do this alone.

🔗 https://www.slowdownpsych.com/emdr-for-parents

03/25/2025

03/24/2025

👀 You watched Netflix’s Adolescence and couldn’t stop thinking: “Is this us?”

😔 If your child loses their temper often… if you lie awake wondering whether their anger is just a phase or something more... you're not alone. And you're not overreacting.

This week’s newsletter goes deep on the scene that broke every parent’s heart—and why it speaks to something so many of us are too scared to say out loud.

📩 Sign up for the newsletter to read the full post.: slowdownpsych.com/newsletter
💻 Or visit slowdownpsych.com if you’re ready to get support—for your child and yourself.

03/19/2025

the last one just hits a little differently y'know?

03/13/2025

You grew up in a different world. Your kid is growing up in this one. 🌈🏳️‍⚧️💙

Parenting a gender-diverse kid can feel like navigating a road with no map. You love your child, but maybe you're worried about saying the wrong thing, messing up, or just not knowing how to support them the way they need.

This open letter is for you. No judgment, no pressure—just real talk about what your kid needs most and how you can show up for them with confidence.

📖 Read more:
https://www.slowdownpsych.com/post/parents-of-gender-diverse-kids

Learn more about my services:
https://www.slowdownpsych.com

You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be there. 💜

03/08/2025

You know that feeling when you've abandoned something for an obnoxiously long time and therefore avoid picking it back up? That's how I feel about my business social media accounts.

Since November (read: the election) , I've agonized over what to say here. And since the inauguration, I've been in full blown analysis paralysis. Many populations that are represented among my family, friends, and clientele are not okay.

I'm still trying to be thoughtful about how I want to use my expertise and my privilege on Meta while preserving my much needed energy.

But sometimes, to pick something up again, you just have to be willing to do the damn thing, even if it's not just imperfect, but possibly even missing the mark altogether.

So I'm getting back into this by sharing a heart warming family update. Meet Walter. We adopted him in October 2024. He had a rough year before he came into our home. He had hopped around to different homes and when he came to us he was skinny, dirty, and suspicious of most people. Except me of course because I'm just that special 🙃

He took a couple of months to get used to our home, my husband, and our other two cats. When we first got him. We thought he was part munchkin because of his short stature. Turned out he was just really good at crawling low to the ground due to suspicions of...everything.

Now, he walks tall and proud. He finally lets my husband pet him. He keeps his coat pristine. And he speaks his mind when the other two try to push him around. Despite being 13, he loves chasing our 7 year old black cat (pictured behind him).

I'm sharing this picture because today was the first time I saw Walter not just sharing the couch, but cuddling next to his buddy.

His is a story of love, patience, and resilience. We were worried about so many negative outcomes with him. But here he is, keeping me sane with his obnoxiously adorable face.

In so many ways, my experience with Walter reminds me of the gift I most enjoy sharing with the world: my unwavering commitment to healing the thorniest, angstiest, often mistrusting humans.

That's what I can offer today. I hope you're all having the kind of day in which love prevails.