Julie Baron and Associates

04/26/2026

Welcome to this weeks 'Ask Julie,' where we unpack the question:

Our daughter has seemed unhappy in recent weeks. She’s under a lot of stress with school and sports, and lately she’s been saying she has no friends. We see her spending time with friends, so we’re confused about why she feels so alone.

We’ve tried suggesting that she reach out to friends more and spend less time on social media, where she seems to compare herself to others and end up feeling inadequate. But when we bring this up, she tells us we don’t understand and shuts down.

What can we do to support her in feeling more positive and happy about her life?

----------------------------
As caring parents, it can be very hard to watch our teens struggle with unhappiness. It’s a natural instinct to want to make them feel better. In those moments, parents often find themselves challenging their teen’s emotional experience, offering a different perspective on the situation, or jumping in with what feel like reasonable solutions.

Unfortunately, these approaches are often not what teens need most. Even the most well-intentioned efforts to fix a specific problem are not what ultimately lead to greater happiness for teens.

That said, parents do play a powerful role in guiding their teens toward lives filled with happiness and well-being. Here are some ways to help get them there.

Unhappiness can offer valuable insight

When we don’t like an experience we’re having, it can be a signal that something important to us is missing. Identifying what that might be can help clarify our values and what matters most.

Your teen’s complaints may be pointing to a sense that they want something more from their social connections. Whether this becomes an explicit conversation or simply an insight that allows for greater compassion, staying curious about what may underlie their distress can lead to a more thoughtful and supportive response.

Validating your teen’s true emotional experience fosters authentic connection

Based on experience, it’s safe to say that the most effective initial response is to accept how your teen is feeling and communicate that acceptance through validation. Validation is the grease that helps the wheels of change turn more easily.

For example: “I’m sorry you’re feeling so alone. I know how much stress you’ve been under and it can’t help to feel like your friends aren’t there for you.” Following this with an offer to talk or simply spend time together can help emotions begin to settle.

If you reflect back an inaccurate understanding of what they’re feeling, teens are usually quick to let us know. As long as we remain open and curious, they are often willing to let us try again or to share more about their perspective.

Timing is everything when offering differing viewpoints

Once you have accepted and better understood how your teen is feeling, they may be more open to hearing an additional perspective. It can help to acknowledge that they know their social world better than you do, and then ask if you can share what you’ve been noticing.

It’s important to stay away from solutions at this stage. The goal is to develop a shared understanding of the problem. A synthesis of perspectives allows you to stand in the same place with your teen before moving toward problem-solving.

When there is a fundamental difference in how the situation is understood -“I have no friends” versus “Of course you have friends” - you are not working toward the same goal. Without that shared starting point, conversations can quickly turn into conflict, and the opportunity to be a source of support may be lost.

Asking questions encourages more thoughtful next steps

Once you have a better understanding of the problem, begin by asking your teen if they’ve thought about how they want to handle the situation. If they’re not ready to problem-solve, it’s okay to leave it for now.

If they respond with “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure,” you can gently explore what some possible options might be. If they’re still unsure, ask if they’d like to hear your thoughts. Offering input only after getting their permission shows respect for their autonomy and makes it more likely they’ll be receptive.

While teens don’t yet have the life experience that parents do, they are developing those skills and can benefit from the valuable guidance parents have to offer. Once some options are identified, give them space to think about what feels right. Let them know you’re available for support, and communicate your confidence in their ability to handle whatever comes their way.

Above all else, if your teen feels they can engage with you in a connected relationship, they are ultimately not alone. Having that sense of connection and belonging may not immediately ease their unhappiness, but it provides an important emotional resource that supports longer-term well-being.

Life can be hard. When teens feel that their parents truly have their back, it can make those difficult moments easier to get through.
----------------------------
Julie Baron, LCSW-C is a licensed clinical social worker, author, and speaker specializing in supporting teens, young adults, and families.

💬Do you have a question? Drop your questions in the comments or send us a message — they might be featured in a future post!

⚠️Disclaimer: The information shared in this series is for educational purposes only and does not constitute mental health care or a therapeutic relationship. For individualized support, please consult with a licensed mental health professional.

📢CTA: Need more tools to de-escalate arguments while keeping connection? Explore related tips on the Julie Baron & Associates website
https://lnkd.in/dRBckHQp
and in Julie’s Psychology Today blog https://lnkd.in/eBXjiVuT




https://www.instagram.com/p/DXmbvD3FHH-/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

04/21/2026

Teens often try to figure out what happiness means to them, and this begins with a supportive foundation of relationships from parents and caregivers. However, relationships with teens often feel double sided as teenagers often crave independence (pushing adults away) while still needing relationships to feel accepted. This article discusses ways to increase relationships with teens including: making relationships a priority, being real, appreciating your teen, and devoting time and energy to ensure a positive relationship.

Read more below: https://www.juliebaronandassociates.com/contributing-to-the-happiness-of-teens/

A loaded and complex endeavor! The expansive landscape of research, philosophy, and interventional guidance on happiness is overwhelming. What it truly means to be happy is subjective, though generally, it means to feel well physically and emotionally, function with a sense of meaning and ability to...

04/18/2026

across borders_ Glad to contribute to such an important program! Have a great benefit event!!

04/14/2026

Get to know the Julie behind ‘Ask Julie!’

Voyage Baltimore interviewed Julie Baron to discuss career paths, what sets Julie apart from others, and ways that she collaborates and works with professionals and clients.

Read more below: https://voyagebaltimore.com/interview/daily-inspiration-meet-julie-baron/

Today we’d like to introduce you to Julie Baron. Hi Julie, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today? From a tearful middle schooler cowering in the counselor’s office, i...

04/11/2026

Welcome to this weeks 'Ask Julie,' where we unpack the question:

Our daughter is 16 and has been a competitive diver since she was 10. She’s very bright and holds herself to extremely high standards. Her attention to detail has helped her to become so accomplished in her sport. She’s also in high school with a demanding course load.

Recently, she’s been experiencing physical symptoms like fatigue, nausea, and lightheadedness. We’ve consulted her doctor, who thinks stress may be a factor.

She has always had perfectionistic tendencies, but lately we’ve noticed a concerning shift. She’s avoiding assignments and falling behind. She also had what seemed like an anxiety attack after receiving an 87% on a test.

We’re concerned she may be overwhelmed and stuck in a pattern of trying to do everything perfectly rather than taking care of herself or finding balance. We don’t care about perfect grades or winning competitions. We just want her to be well.

How can we best support her?

----------------------------
It makes sense that your daughter is feeling overwhelmed. It sounds like her intelligence, talent in her sport, and strong work ethic have allowed her to perform at a high level for a long time without reaching her tipping point. Now, with the onset of physical symptoms that interfere with her usual functioning, that balance may be shifting from manageable to overwhelming.
She had been operating like a well-oiled machine, and suddenly it’s as if someone has thrown sand in the gears, yet she’s still expecting herself to function the same way.

Her perfectionism, which once served her well, may no longer be helping in the same way. When workload, expectations, and stress begin to exceed capacity, the system becomes overwhelmed. The harder she pushes for perfection under these conditions, the more likely she is to activate her stress response, intensify physical symptoms, and struggle to meet her own expectations.

An urge to focus intensely on details when things feel uncertain or out of control, such as with illness or stress, can become an attempt to regain a sense of control. At the same time, when achieving perfect results starts to feel out of reach, it can lead to the opposite response: avoidance, as a way to protect against perceived failure. This all or nothing perspective can feed a cycle more likely to cause distress rather than achieve a desired goal.
There is good news and bad news here: Something has to give. While that can feel unsettling, it also creates an opportunity for meaningful adjustment.

Here are some approaches that may help over time:

Step back and observe

It can be difficult for both teens and parents to see the bigger picture when caught in this cycle. Gently help your daughter pause and reflect on what has changed, both physically and emotionally, and how these factors may be interacting. See if she can identify how her thoughts, emotions, and behaviors may or may not be serving her and where she may like to make adjustments. Sometimes even mapping out this cycle together on paper can make it more visible and manageable.

Accept the current reality

Regardless of how she has functioned in the past, her body and mind are signaling that something needs attention. This likely means reassessing priorities for now. Support her in identifying where she can lighten her load and where she can build in care. Rest, nutrition, hydration, and sleep can be critical to feeling and functioning better.

Make space for her to experience and express difficult emotions. Sudden changes when expectations and results no longer align can understandably be frustrating, disappointing, or sad. Help her develop patience with herself as she adjusts, reinforcing that her goals are still possible, even if the path or timing looks different right now.

See the opportunity

An important lifelong skill is learning how to find balance between achievement and well-being, effort and rest, or work and play. Many people continue to struggle with finding their balance well into adulthood, so starting early can be beneficial. While this moment is challenging, it offers her an important opportunity to grow in a way that will serve her well into her future.

There is great value in learning to adapt when life throws curveballs. Being able to recognize unexpected challenges as temporary, and to adjust, pivot, and persist through them, helps build important intrapersonal strength.

Seek additional support if needed

There is often a close connection between stress, anxiety, and physical symptoms, with each reinforcing the other. From my experience, somatic symptoms, often intertwined with stress, have seemed more visible in recent years. Sadly, for women in particular, diffuse symptoms, like fatigue, gut distress, or body pain, are frequently dismissed as “anxiety” or “just stress.”
While stress or anxiety are often factors, underlying medical issues may also be present and can improve with proper evaluation and care. If concerns continue, consider both further medical evaluation and mental health support to help address the full picture.

----------------------------
Julie Baron, LCSW-C is a licensed clinical social worker, author, and speaker specializing in supporting teens, young adults, and families.

💬Do you have a question? Drop your questions in the comments or send us a message — they might be featured in a future post!

⚠️Disclaimer: The information shared in this series is for educational purposes only and does not constitute mental health care or a therapeutic relationship. For individualized support, please consult with a licensed mental health professional.

📢CTA: Need more tools to de-escalate arguments while keeping connection? Explore related tips on the Julie Baron & Associates website
https://lnkd.in/dRBckHQp
and in Julie’s Psychology Today blog https://lnkd.in/eBXjiVuT




https://www.instagram.com/p/DW_yPA7FJsy/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

04/07/2026

This month's ‘What Works With Teens’ newsletter discusses the idea of perfectionism, including how caregivers can inadvertently expect perfectionism from their teens. Topics covered include the definition of perfectionism, subtle messages that reinforce this idea of perfectionism, and how to shift the narrative.

Read more here: https://whatworkswithteens.com/2026/04/02/how-parents-therapists-and-teachers-accidentally-increase-perfectionism-and-what-to-do-about-it/

Most adults don’t set out to create perfectionistic teens. Parents want their children to thrive. Teachers want students to succeed. Therapists want young people to develop insight and motivation. Yet in today’s high-pressure academic and social environment, even well-intentioned responses from ...

04/04/2026

Welcome to this weeks 'Ask Julie,' where we unpack the question:

Our 14-year-old just told us they are non-binary. We want to be supportive, but we have many questions. How could they possibly know they are not the gender they were born as? How do we even begin to talk with them about this? Do we need to use “they/them” pronouns? What if we forget? What does non-binary even mean?

We have always wanted to support all of our children and aren’t sure how to do that in this situation.

----------------------------
It’s completely understandable to feel caught off guard. This may feel new and unexpected to you, even though your teen may have been thinking about their gender identity for some time. By the time adolescents share something like this, they have often already spent time reflecting on it, likely longer than you have.

A helpful first step is to thank your child for trusting you with something so personal and to reassure them that you love them. You might also let them know you want to understand more so you can support them thoughtfully.

Here are some considerations that may help:

Take a moment

When strong emotions arise, it’s important to take some time for those emotions to settle. Give yourself space to process your initial reactions. Try to stay grounded in the present rather than jumping ahead to worries about the future. Remain compassionate with yourself and your child to help mitigate negative judgments or worries as you learn more.

Seek information and guidance

Learning more can help you respond with clarity and confidence. Resources such as PFLAG National, American Academy of Pediatrics, and this article from Child Mind Institute (https://childmind.org/article/how-to-support-kids-who-are-questioning/) offer helpful information. Taking time to understand your teen’s perspective and read information from trusted sources can help you respond in a balanced and thoughtful way.

Remember that adolescence is a time of identity exploration
Adolescence is a period of exploring many aspects of identity, including gender identity (the gender we identify as, which can be the one assigned at birth or another) and sexual orientation (who we are attracted to). Teens are figuring out what matters to them, where they fit in, and who they are becoming. Whether aspects of identity evolve or remain consistent over time, feeling accepted and respected is essential. A strong, supportive relationship with caregivers is a vital protective factor for a teen’s emotional well-being and overall healthy development.

Stay connected and curious

Once you feel more grounded, invite your teen to share more about their experience. Approach these conversations with curiosity and openness rather than judgment. You can express your thoughts or concerns while still validating their feelings.
Ask what pronouns they would like you to use, and make an effort to use them. This communicates respect for how they understand themselves. If you make a mistake, a simple correction and moving forward is enough. Perfection isn’t required.

Above all, continue to show your child that your love and support are steady. When teens feel safe to explore who they are within a secure and caring relationship, they are more likely to discover a strong and authentic sense of self.

----------------------------
Julie Baron, LCSW-C is a licensed clinical social worker, author, and speaker specializing in supporting teens, young adults, and families.

💬Do you have a question? Drop your questions in the comments or send us a message — they might be featured in a future post!

⚠️Disclaimer: The information shared in this series is for educational purposes only and does not constitute mental health care or a therapeutic relationship. For individualized support, please consult with a licensed mental health professional.

📢CTA: Need more tools to de-escalate arguments while keeping connection? Explore related tips on the Julie Baron & Associates website
https://lnkd.in/dRBckHQp
and in Julie’s Psychology Today blog https://lnkd.in/eBXjiVuT




https://www.instagram.com/p/DWtkWUWlIwy/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

03/31/2026

Emotions sometimes overtake individuals. In a world of violence, and politically charged conversations, parents and caregivers often wonder how they are able to cope with hard-hitting news and talk to their youth about big life events. Julie Baron sat down with Ned Johnson on The Self Driven Child podcast to discuss how to talk with our kids when the world feels too big. The frameworks included: why we feel out of control in the face of big stressors, how to capture a sense of agency, using DBT tools, and Julie’s CARE model offering tools for caregivers to connect and talk about these challenging situations.

Listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/when-the-world-feels-too-big-talking-with-our-kids/id1676859533?i=1000757455157

Podcast Episode · The Self-Driven Child · March 26 · 53m

03/27/2026

Welcome to this weeks 'Ask Julie,' where we unpack the question:

Our son went off to college in the fall, but due to low motivation, poor academic performance, and concerns about substance use, we made the decision as a family, with his input, that he wouldn’t return for the spring semester. We told him that he can return next year if he demonstrates the skills and responsibility needed to be successful in college.

Now it’s almost April, and he hasn’t really done anything. He said he would get a job, but he’s only done DoorDash sporadically. He doesn’t have a plan, spends much of his time playing video games, and when he does interact with us, he’s often reactive and snaps at us.

How can we help motivate him and get him moving in a more positive direction?
----------------------------
It sounds like your son may not have been ready for college, so the decision to have him return home makes sense. Even though he was part of that decision, he may still be carrying difficult emotions, like disappointment, anger, or shame, that are keeping him stuck. Encouraging him to work with a therapist or another trained professional who can help him process these feelings and begin mapping out next steps could be very helpful.

With or without professional support, here are some important questions and considerations:

What are your son’s goals?

It’s reassuring that returning to school remains an option, but is that actually his goal? Try to have ongoing conversations that help clarify what he wants. This may take multiple attempts. Approaching him with curiosity, compassion, and without judgment can make it easier for him to engage. Let him know your goal is to support him in finding a productive path forward, whatever that looks like for him.

He may need time to reflect. If he’s open to working with a mental health professional, that alone can be a meaningful first step, without pressuring him to do more right away. As you begin to better understand what he wants, you can work together to outline next steps.

It’s also okay if he doesn’t yet have a long-term vision. In the meantime, help him identify short-term goals—such as getting a part-time job, contributing regularly to household responsibilities, and being an engaged member of the family. It can also be helpful to explore what got in the way of his success at school so barriers can be navigated as he moves forward.

What got in the way of a more successful college experience?

Whether through conversations with you or with a professional, identifying the barriers to his success is key. Did he feel pressured to go to college when he wasn’t ready? Was the academic workload overwhelming? Did he struggle socially and rely on substances to cope? Were sleep habits, class attendance, or organizational skills an issue? Understanding these challenges is an important first step toward building the skills and supports he may need to accomplish his goals.

If he is willing to work with a therapist, you might ask him to sign a release of information or invite you to join a session after an initial assessment. This can help you better understand what’s going on and how to support him. If emotions are a barrier, having a space to reflect, be honest with himself, and build coping skills can support meaningful growth.

Help him take one step at a time

Start from where your son is right now. If that includes limited structure, low motivation, or tense family interactions, begin there. Focus first on improving day-to-day functioning and creating more respectful, manageable interactions at home. Ask for his input. He may be reacting defensively because he anticipates being asked (again) about his plans without having answers.

Consider setting aside time to talk about reasonable expectations and ways he can contribute at home. Giving him notice ahead of these conversations can help him feel more prepared and less reactive.

As things stabilize, begin discussing ways he can build structure and increase productivity, whether that’s helping a neighbor, going to the gym, or finding part-time work. If he continues to struggle or remains resistant, it may be appropriate to require some level of mental health support to help guide next steps.

When young people are stuck, parents understandably feel hurt and worried. With the best intentions, it’s easy to make home life more comfortable than it needs to be. Consider how you’re providing resources, such as spending money, access to a car, doing laundry, or providing meals. Adjusting these supports can help disrupt the current pattern. Frame these changes not as punishment, but as an expression of confidence in his ability to take on more responsibility for himself and build self-reliance.

As he begins to identify his own goals and take small steps forward, reinforce his efforts and acknowledge progress. Small wins accumulate toward greater progress. Allowing him to experience his own challenges, rather than turning it into a struggle between him and you, can strengthen his sense of ownership, while protecting your relationship.

----------------------------
Julie Baron, LCSW-C is a licensed clinical social worker, author, and speaker specializing in supporting teens, young adults, and families.

💬Do you have a question? Drop your questions in the comments or send us a message — they might be featured in a future post!

⚠️Disclaimer: The information shared in this series is for educational purposes only and does not constitute mental health care or a therapeutic relationship. For individualized support, please consult with a licensed mental health professional.

📢CTA: Need more tools to de-escalate arguments while keeping connection? Explore related tips on the Julie Baron & Associates website
https://lnkd.in/dRBckHQp
and in Julie’s Psychology Today blog https://lnkd.in/eBXjiVuT




https://www.instagram.com/p/DWY7VhRlKVE/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==