Yulia Kriskovets, a Somatic Guide

02/17/2025

Очень часто мы оказываемся перед сложным выбором. Перед нами два, три, а иногда и больше вариантов, и мы словно застываем, не в силах двигаться дальше. Это ощущение может быть парализующим.

Метод расстановок помогает найти выход из этого "невозможного" состояния. Попробуйте простое упражнение:

1️⃣ Возьмите несколько листочков бумаги — столько, сколько у вас вариантов.
2️⃣ Напишите на каждом из них один из возможных выборов.
3️⃣ Переверните их лицевой стороной вниз, чтобы не видеть, где что написано.
4️⃣ Встаньте поочередно на каждый листочек и почувствуйте, как откликается ваше тело.

На одном из них вы можете почувствовать напряжение или затаить дыхание. На другом — ваше сердце откроется, дыхание станет легким, и появится ощущение спокойствия.

Скорее всего, именно этот выбор — ваш путь.

Попробуйте и поделитесь, что у вас получилось! ✨

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash.

05/07/2024

When we think about the role of a mother in the context of Family Constellations, we often see her as a bridge connecting us to the countless ancestors of our maternal line. This connection gives us access to limitless resources. However, if we shut ourselves off from our mother because we feel she didn't give us enough or that she hurt us, we sever that connection.

So it becomes really important to come to an embodied understanding our mother gave us as much love as she could. This is enough to maintain the bridge to our maternal lineage. It may take an adult position of looking at our mother in all complexity of her human situation and seeing that she gave us what she could. This means stepping out of the "child" role of waiting for more and stepping into an “adult” role of taking what we deserve as our birthright.

We'll be coming together to heal mother wounds this Saturday, May 11, at 10 am (check the comments for more information).

04/16/2024

Have you made your summer plans yet? There is still time to plan coming to 2024. I'll be teaching a Family Constellations workshop "The Strength of Our Ancestors" and enjoying other cool workshops, concerts, and dances. June 6-9 in Rixeyville, VA

03/09/2024

How can we authentically connect with one another, tapping into the essence of our true selves?

How can we do that when we want to belong so much? Belonging is what keeps us in line. "If you want to belong, this is what you need to do". A fear of losing our belonging is what creates shame. We want to belong in our family system. We want to belong in our tribe. Historically, survival depended on collective ties; isolation meant peril. So we do what's asked of us and that can often be in conflict with our core self.

Yet, a profound shift occurs when we acknowledge the belonging and also that our life can be different from those who came before us. "I am yours, even if I don't suffer in my relationship like many of my ancestors." "I belong, even if I respect my partner." "I belong, even if I am the first one in my line to be happy in marriage."

Once the unconscious processes become visible, you can make choices in how you relate. And what comes next could be real intimacy between two people and their core selves, while outdated ancestral beliefs fade into the past.

My monthly circle is a safe container to explore these ideas, let emotions move, and receive the support while sharing our humanity. More details in the comments.

03/06/2024

When we are in a relationship, our partner may sometimes step into the role of someone important in our family system. That can trigger a much bigger negative response than could ever be expected In mundane situations.

Perhaps a partner forgot to buy some cream for your morning coffee during their grocery run and your psyche gets sent back into the past when your needs were not considered by your parents. You get emotional, some could even say dramatic. A fight follows. And you may not even know why you responded in such a big way. The feelings of the past are floating around you like a cloud excluded from your awareness.

We'll be looking at who may be hiding in your relationship besides your partner and you at the March 10 Family Constellations Circle. More info on the comments.

02/13/2024

Disassociation can be such a great friend to us. It comes to rescue when we are overwhelmed and can't handle strong emotions like fear or grief. And it may feel really pleasant: peaceful and calm. Often, we make friends with disassociation when we are little and the emotions that we have to face are too big for our immature nervous systems.

This choice to leave our bodies and look at everything from a distance can be a good one for a while. Yet at some point it stops serving us and becomes a veil that disconnects us from others and life in general. It also disconnects us from who we are, from being ourselves in all of our fullness.

It's tempting to be angry at disassociation and to try to get rid of it. However, it could be more productive to notice it, look at it like an old friend, give it space, and thank for all the help you received from it. And slowly allow for more feeling into your life. Possibly with support from others.

02/08/2024

How do we learn or not learn to love ourselves?

It happens very early on. As young children, we treat our parents like a mirror. What they reflect back to us becomes what we think we are and what we deserve.

If our mom pays attention to us and values our emotions, we learn to trust ourselves and allow ourselves to feel. If she shows empathy and compassion, we learn how to feel compassion for ourselves. If she says “stop crying, boys don’t cry” or “girls need to be quiet”, perhaps we choose to cut off that part of ourselves and “freeze” instead.

Mothers and fathers are human, and sometimes they just don’t have the resources to give children what they need: attention, emotional warmth, safety. Sometimes those mothers and fathers didn’t receive all these basic things themselves and don’t know how to offer them to their own children.

The way towards loving ourselves is not in endlessly spiraling into the offenses you received as a child, but rather in exploring what a child you was lacking and how to find it now. For that, of course, we’ll need to connect to that child within you, however painful that may be at first.

On Sunday, February 11, we'll explore the themes of Loving Yourself in a safe Family Constellations circle. https://www.facebook.com/share/G6J3t3JK4NugwRe5/?mibextid=9VsGKo

02/02/2024

This is me and a horse who participated in the family constellation I did as a client. It was an unusual experience, as I didn't really know what to expect. There were people representing and the regular flow of a constellation. Everything went as usual until a horse from the Sara Fancy's herd came over to participate. It was so unexpected when she came over from behind and pushed me towards the figure of "abundance", when I hesitated. That's what you can call a real movement :)

01/20/2024

As I prepare for the Love Your Back workshop on Feb. 25, I'm reflecting on what it means to care for your back and give it the attention it deserves.

As I wear my Feldenkrais hat, here are some broad guidelines for lower back care (I would need to look at you to recommend something specific for your back):

1. The key is to distribute effort along the entire spine. We tend to overuse the lower spine and neglect the upper/mid spine, leading to limited mobility in the upper part and excessive use of the lumbar vertebrae. This imbalance often results in overused lower back muscles.

2. Give your back muscles a break from being in extension, or contracted (broadly speaking, arching). How do we find that relaxed position of the back? By rounding and engaging the abdominal muscles that often forget how to fire appropriately in the moments when we need them. Try getting onto a floor and gently rolling around like a baby with rounded lower back pressing into the floor and see if the back muscles spread and lengthen a bit afterwards.

3. Is your head over your pelvis? Often the head is in front or behind the pelvis and that creates excessive load for your spine and back muscles. Check where the back of your head is in relation to the back of your pelvis.

4. Cultivating mobility and awareness of your hip joints can alleviate the load on the lower back. The more mobility you have in your hip joints, the move you can move your pelvis in walking and other activities. And that means less work for your back. Your hip joints are much closer to the midline than most people are aware of. Bend over the hip joints, not the lower spine, for better back health.

5. Waking up your shoulder blades will score more points with your lower back. The more you move your shoulder blades and ribs, the less effort it is for your lower back. You will also release some unnecessary holding in the upper back.

6. Learning how to transition from a position to a position without shearing into your lower back can make a big difference. Think how many times a day we come to sitting from standing and from standing to sitting.

Wishing you a happy a healthy back!

Photo by Inge Poelman on Unsplash.

01/15/2024

Something is in the air these days. Lately, I have heard many complaints about back discomfort from people near and far.

So, I am offering an in-person workshop in the DC area: Love Your Back, a Feldenkrais workshop for tender backs. We'll stretch out on the mats together, look at what works too hard (lower back?), and what is not working enough (shoulder blades? hip joints? ribs?), and will shift the work to the underachievers of our body. Sunday, February 25, 10am-1pm, Bethesda, MD.

We'll have tea and treats to support us through this movement journey!

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=15790430&appointmentType=57484636&fbclid=IwAR1_eBPKpdBV7leuU2aYiWBG1Haz1XT2nxVqBbLr-cSDlrJp3_GWlqAl9pw

Schedule your appointment online Yulia Kriskovets, Feldenkrais Practitioner & Family Constellations Facilitator

01/12/2024

One of the practices that uplifts me is 5 Rhythms. Whenever I do it, I am immensely grateful for the experience. The venue where I practice has a fireplace which comforts me and helps my transition into the space of communion with my body. Ann Kite , our wonderful teacher, skillfully creates an environment that allows exploration of what needs to emerge from the deep dark places.

In this form of ecstatic dance, we navigate through a sequence of 5 rhythms: flow, staccato, chaos, lyrical, and stillness. For me, this practice is primarily about allowing: letting my body move organically in the moment, deciding whether to partner or dance solo based on my instincts, allowing myself to exit the dance with someone if I feel inclined, permitting myself to rest when tired – a particularly challenging aspect for me – and granting space for various other forms of allowance. It serves as a good way to try out unfamiliar patterns or gain crystal clarity on ones that are uniquely mine. I also like to integrate any new learning that I get elsewhere here, in the dance and into my body. And many insights tend to come as a result during the stillness rhythm at the end of each wave.

5 Rhythms is not only a dance but also a space for prayer and meditation. As you release your thoughts, you enter a state of pure trance, fully inhabiting your body. This creates a spaciousness that holds great value, supporting me in the days that lie ahead.

How do you nurture and support yourself?

01/12/2024

At the last constellations circle I led, I tried out an exercise I learned at the seminar with my teacher, Elena Veselago. It was a full-group exercise where each participant found an object to represent the burden or pain they were carrying and showed it to others. In the process of this relatively short exercise, some significant energetic shifts occurred. It was powerful to be seen and fully accepted by others as carrying the burden. The fact of that recognition ensured that each person was opening a bit more space to see the burden in themselves. We saw the pain others carry and were seen as those carrying the pain. We also recognized that we are good in our essence, in our being, even if we carry these burdens. A significant shift for many. At the end, we found another object that would represent a very distinct new pattern to eventually move us away from our burden. Such a simple setup with such powerful results: family constellations can reveal what is sometimes hard to find out in another way.