Dr. Tova Rubin

10/17/2024

Guess who is presenting an Ethics workshop at the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium on March 20, 2025? Therapists friends, I am doing a Beatles Sing Along accompanied by the magnificent Paul Rossen! Ethics and Singing is the best combo!! Hope to see you there!!

12/28/2023

Today I had the devestating opportunity to visit Kibbutz Nir Oz where one of four members of their community was either killed or kidnapped. The photos don’t do justice to the surreal experience of contrast from the ideallic beauty of the kibbutz to the burned out rubble from the massacre of October 7. My heart is broken for this community.

12/20/2023

Bring them home NOW! Airport view 💔💔💔💔

04/08/2022

Please read this. It isn't just for athletes. It's for all humans!

https://www.usalaxmagazine.com/college/women/cailin-bracken-a-letter-to-college-sports?fbclid=IwAR2c5G__2YlR5qGINuDpZXXJsVbNZ661DIuBC5vYANbcvclT-cvXksnj__w

The Vanderbilt sophomore writes about the mental well-being of student athletes.

03/29/2022

Breathing is automatic…
But it doesn’t have to be!
Learn to control your breath
And you learn to manage your anxiety!!

03/28/2022

My thought for today:

Growth
Can only blossom
In the soil of Discomfort...
Let’s get our hands dirty!

(Inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh's book No Mud, No Lotus)

03/24/2022

Hiking in Patapsco Falls last week I arrived at a creek along the trail. The water was fairly high and it was going to be a tricky crossing. Pondering what to do was a couple in front of me. The dad had a baby in a front carrier and his partner had the dog on a leash. Behind me were two college age women.
I stepped a bit to the left heading back from where I came and saw that there was a shallower section. I quickly doubled back and hopped across, needing to scramble up the other side through some brush and rocks, but I stood up, brushed off my clothes and headed back to the trail.
I noticed the couple making some decisions. She took the dog back toward the left a bit. Dad looked a bit annoyed and just kind of walked through the water getting his shoes wet and made it safely to the other side. She tried hopping on the rocks and logs that were unevenly spaced across and seemed to stay pretty dry. The dog was happy.
The two college kids walked along the creek to the right and didn’t cross yet. As I continued along the path I saw that further down about 100 yards or so they found a pretty easy place to cross on 3 or 4 big rocks. They hopped across easily and found their way to the trail, which was worn down by plenty of footfalls before them. Their patience paid off. But what if it hadn’t?
I pondered this experience, thinking about how we all got across, but in our own ways. Some got wetter, some got dirtier, some took longer. But we all got there.
Then I came to the next creek crossing. And I slowed down and considered all my new options...
We never step in the same river twice!

02/19/2021

For fun!

12/13/2020

Fun holiday gift idea! My book!

06/30/2020

https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Couch-collection-clinical-practice/dp/B08BDYYSDP

04/03/2020

MAKE ROOM FOR GRIEF

We are all trying to focus on gratitude, notice the good, find the silver lining, and all of these wonderful ways to stay positive. These are important practices and I fully support putting energy into them. They are our lifeline.

I think it equally important to take time to grieve what we have lost both temporarily and permanently. We need to make space to mourn the significant losses we are experiencing. We need to say Kaddish, have a ceremony, burn something, bury something, whether figuratively or literally. These losses are real.

There is often a defense we use to minimize our pain by saying that others have it worse. There are people are dying of this virus. There are people who have lost their income. There are people who are quarantined with their abuser. There are people who are exposing themselves to COVID-19 daily in order to do their jobs and save lives.

But your life is still your life. You are still entitled to grieve your losses. Only you know how significant they are, and you matter. The most healthy and also efficient way to deal with these painful emotions is to make space to experience them.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of 6 temporary things and 5 permanent things that I grieve:

Temporary things I have lost:
Hugs
In vivo face to face time with my clients
Sharing space with my peeps
Sharing Friday night dinners with friends
Seeing Ziva improve in Physical Therapy for her foot so she can get back to dancing
Being with the kids’ singing groups at shul

Things that are lost forever:
Watching Shoshi perform in “Blast” and getting to see her shine, make those friendships, and create lifetime memories from High School shows.
Yaeli’s ending of middle school and all of the social, school, and learning experiences that are lost.
Going to LA see Yoni perform in his dance recital
Performing my 6 hour Musical Ethics workshop at the conference March 19th.
Small and big plans for celebrating my 50th year of life

May you grieve your losses and find peace and acceptance through this difficult time.

06/19/2019

Let's celebrate Juneteenth! One of the most important days in American History.

Henry Louis Gates, Jr. explains the origins of Juneteenth, the celebration of the end of slavery.