Dr. Psych Mom

05/04/2026

Not everyone is as direct as me... But if you get no feedback or insight or potential areas to address, what are you doing there?

05/03/2026

interesting stats about affairs!

05/03/2026

I am a firm believer that kids should be exposed to all sorts of topics of conversation.

S*x, politics, a parent’s life history, nothing, or very little, should be entirely off the table.

However, the tone of conversations with kids needs to be objective, calm, and involve some sort of learning or positive takeaway.

The sad stories that narcissistic, depressed, and BPD parents tell their kids involve no positive points, and are told with the subconscious purpose of getting the child to feel bad for them and therefore be loyal to them to compensate for their difficult life.

This is a terrible burden for a child.

One-sided victim narratives are harmful to kids.

05/03/2026

What are things that can change with deep, insight-oriented therapy?

* People can grow aware of their emotionally avoidant and distancing tendencies

* People can express their emotions more readily

* People can understand why their more sensitive partner gets upset with them

* People can learn to split household chores differently

* People can learn what their own and their partner’s love languages are

Here are things that cannot change:

* Your husband that doesn’t value physical affection will not change into a man who yearns for your touch

* Your wife that doesn’t cry at movies will never turn into someone whose eyes well up when you give her a love letter

* Your partner who values their own hobbies will not morph into someone who always chooses family time over alone time and is happy about it

* Your partner who isn’t romantic will not become someone who truly seems thrilled about the gift you spent hours picking out for them

* Your wife who dislikes kissing won’t magically shift into someone who likes to make out for hours

https://www.drpsychmom.com/exactly-how-much-can-your-non-highly-sensitive-partner-grow-and-change-in-counseling/

05/03/2026

don't make your kids collateral damage in your marital conflict

05/03/2026

sarah and josh in a coffee shop on sunday afternoon. what's going on here in your daily rorschach??

05/03/2026

Here's how you can channel your new feelings of desire into improving your marriage:

Plan some date nights with your husband, or a trip away without the kids if you can swing it. Maybe get some new clothes or lingerie and try to flirt with him as you did when you were first dating.

Try and see your husband the way that another woman would see him if she encountered him at work or at the gym.

Go out in groups or on double dates and put your husband in situations where you could potentially be more excited by him or attracted to him again. If he is funny, then seeing other people laugh at his jokes is going to be fun and exciting for you.

Try and see him through the eyes of these other women who would be meeting him on Tinder if you ever left him.

https://www.drpsychmom.com/i-am-attracted-to-my-husbands-best-friend-and-now-he-is-single/

05/03/2026

3% to 5% of affairs lead to marriage, and 3/4 of marriages that start as affairs end in divorce. 82% of men who cheat end up staying married to their spouse. And 80% of people who divorce during an affair later regret it.

05/03/2026

There are many couples who argue incessantly and have no idea that this is destroying their relationship, the calmness of their home, and their kids’ ability to get along well with others.

Their blind spot is that they both wholeheartedly believe that it is necessary to have an opinion about every single thing that transpires in the universe.

This is incorrect and is always learned in your upbringing, either directly or as a counter-reaction.

Here’s what I mean and how the 90-10 rule applies.

What I call the 90-10 rule can help!

05/03/2026

men only initiate around 30% of divorces. but when they do, these are the most common reasons I see. often a combination as well.

05/03/2026

Many people act like it is a surprise that their partner turned out to hate s*x or be emotionally avoidant or anything else, but this is decidedly not the case.

From the very first moment you felt attracted to your spouse, you can generally see what the dynamic and major issues will be.

Understanding why you were originally drawn to your spouse can help a great deal with accepting them for what they are and always were.

https://www.drpsychmom.com/your-whole-relationship-can-be-understood-through-the-lens-of-your-first-meeting/

05/03/2026

Many men struggle with communicating effectively with their wives.

This is amplified if the wife is a Highly Sensitive Person and the husband is not.

It is further amplified if one or both of you struggle with depression, which often renders you super sensitive to perceived rejection or criticism.

Here is a trick that works for many of my male clients: stop listening to what your wife says and respond to what she feels.