Dr. Psych Mom

03/11/2026

Therapy can help if you struggle with the passage of time and you always feel like you're missing out on things unfairly.

03/11/2026

i went to starbucks yesterday and noticed that equal if not MORE people smiled at me than when i was a young woman. the difference was than these were all types and it just used to be guys, lol. younger women smiled, moms with kids, and teenagers. this could also be because i smile first now, because midlife is when your social anxiety leaves the building, for myself and many other women (often discussed as "giving fewer F's). either way, i think i am now firmly in the camp of citizens of society that would be asked for help by a younger or older person, in terms of things like:

directions (this is ironic because i am s**t at directions)

watching someone's child if they needed

knowing what is going on overall, everything from school assignments to parenting advice to what to wear to a given occasion to how to act in a certain place, etc (this stuff is asked by my own kids of course but also younger clients and younger moms that i know)

watching someone's stuff while they deal with something else (eg their laptop while they go to the bathroom)

at this age, women become hypervisible to anyone who is in need of a "mom" at that moment. they are considered competent and well intentioned and are coded as such when people scan the environment for a friendly and helpful presence. we are universal alloparents! :)

Drpsychmom.com/mwg

03/10/2026

Remember, when a man looks down on feelings, it is the same as when women look down on s*xual intimacy. Nowadays, people do not marry for survival or to join family dynasties. They marry for love, connection, and to raise a family. Men still propose to women more often than the inverse, and do so for love, which completely negates the idea that “feelings” shouldn’t matter in a marriage. Further, men who say that feelings wouldn’t be a good reason to leave a marriage tend to think that s*xlessness would be a valid reason. If nothing matters except responsibility to the kids and ensuring the household stays intact, then there should be no need for romantic closeness at all. For a partner who needs emotional closeness, this is as necessary as s*x is to the partner who has a higher libido. The absence of either one indicates profound issues with the marriage, and both are equally valid reasons to get into therapy.

03/10/2026

If you're the type of person who could be happy living anywhere and prioritizes relationships over any given activity... you can either be the sad partner of someone who puts their own wants as the top priority... Or choose someone like yourself and experience deep happiness!

03/10/2026

You think your situation is different and one day you will convince your partner to love you in the way you need. But nobody can ever convince anyone to love them. It's possible your partner will change but ONLY if they want to... And you CANNOT make them want to.

03/10/2026

03/10/2026

Many guys don't know how to initiate and think the problem is their wife ... but they were grabbing her b***s or making a joke and not listening when she said she didn't like that.

03/10/2026

Nope, it's not a "bait and switch," just like it's not a "bait and switch" when low libido wives go from having fantastic honeymoon stage s*x with their new partner to low frequency and boring s*x later in marriage.

There is a big difference in how the emotionally avoidant partner shows up in the honeymoon stage vs. later on

03/10/2026

i went to starbucks yesterday and noticed that equal if not MORE people smiled at me than when i was a young woman. the difference was than these were all types and it just used to be guys, lol. younger women smiled, moms with kids, and teenagers. this could also be because i smile first now, because midlife is when your social anxiety leaves the building, for myself and many other women (often discussed as "giving fewer F's). either way, i think i am now firmly in the camp of citizens of society that would be asked for help by a younger or older person, in terms of things like:

directions (this is ironic because i am s**t at directions)

watching someone's child if they needed

knowing what is going on overall, everything from school assignments to parenting advice to what to wear to a given occasion to how to act in a certain place, etc (this stuff is asked by my own kids of course but also younger clients and younger moms that i know)

watching someone's stuff while they deal with something else (eg their laptop while they go to the bathroom)

at this age, women become hypervisible to anyone who is in need of a "mom" at that moment. they are considered competent and well intentioned and are coded as such when people scan the environment for a friendly and helpful presence. we are universal alloparents! :)

03/10/2026

If you're contacting therapy as a career... Read this

1. you get really invested in your clients and then you can't predict if they will stay with you and keep working on themselves. this is hardest with child clients. when parents with personality disorders see the child getting too close to a therapist, they will yank them out of therapy in order subconsciously to stay the number one adult in the child's life. with marital therapy, many people will leave rather than work on themselves if they are challenged even gently to explore their own contribution. and it is also very hard to see people who are depressed or anxious but find that idea so threatening that they will leave therapy instead of confronting that idea and working on themselves.

Post by Dr. Psych Mom

03/10/2026

Avoidant man, preoccupied wife and her involved mother are the ultimate throuple. He gets to do more of his hobbies, the mom feels helpful and useful to the family and bonds way more with the grandkids, and the wife is less stressed and more supported. If the mother gets sick or worse or the couple moves away... Marital conflict explodes.