Richard Dean Banton, LCSW

09/17/2024

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/suppressing-negative-thoughts-good-for-mental-health #:~:text=Researchers%20at%20the%20Medical%20Research,participants'%20mental%20health%20also%20improved.

The commonly-held belief that attempting to suppress negative thoughts is bad for our mental health could be wrong, a new study from scientists at the

09/10/2024

07/27/2024

YOU’VE GOT ONE JOB

And it’s to breathe.

This came up in a difficult coaching conversation. The person on the other end of the line had been going through — and continued to go through — some truly terrible stuff and emotions were understandably running high.

It was important, and very obvious, for them to breathe in that moment.

It was necessary, and it helped.

Now, the situation was still there, going on — nothing had changed — and breathing helped this person to see that right here, right now, that was their only job.

There was nothing else for them to do.

But then we kind of happened on the fact that in any moment that comes along, that’s the only job we have.

👉🏻 Getting stressed out thinking about all the difficulties life is throwing at you: breathe.

👉🏻 Being right in the middle of turmoil, observing yourself taking action: breathe.

👉🏻 10 years from now when it’s all in the past and largely forgotten: breathe.

It’s the one job you’ve got to do, to keep the organism alive.

And you know the best thing about this?

[We’re going to have to whisper now, ’cos if the mind hears this bit, it’s going to feel very left out and it won’t be happy.]

Even breathing is taken care of.

😮

How awesome is that?!

💟

Giles

p.s. I send out a Daily Reminder that all my subscribers love! As one said, “It helps me start my day off in reality, instead of heavy thinking.” How cool is that?! Want your own? Follow the link in my Bio to learn more and sign up.

06/26/2024

MY JOB VS. YOUR JOB

I’m listening to an audiobook about treating mental health conditions from an innate health perspective and the section on traumatic events really nails it.

The first thing it makes clear is that, in the simplest of terms, healing = forgetting.

If we imagine a life where that past event no longer has any hold over us, and we’re living a happy, peaceful life, then, while we may be able to recall the event, we’ve forgotten the “hurt”.

As Richard Carlson puts it, in another book, “If we can learn to stop frightening ourselves with our own thoughts, we are on our way to a happier life, irrespective of what we had to go through.”

The second thing it makes clear is your role in all this, and my role.

There’s a beautiful little description of a coaching session, where the client, having been pointed in this direction — towards forgetting — gets quite upset and protests,

“But I don’t know if I can!” 😫

The reply that comes is simply for the ages:

“That's my job. I'm going to help you learn how to forget. Your job is to want to forget.”

😙👌🏻

We’ve been so comprehensively indoctrinated into a model that says to ‘overcome’ trauma, we have to re-live it… when in reality that just keeps it alive. It makes it look like ‘forgetting’ is either impossible, or just plain denial.

To be clear: in an Innate Health coaching session, it’s not that past experiences don’t come up. It’s just that when we have a solid grounding in what thought is/how it works, these previously painful memories take on a completely different characteristic, and they get resolved, naturally.

They lose their power.

The forgetting begins.

And the phrase “post-traumatic growth” starts to make more sense.

💟

Giles

p.s. Most of us have been through some terrible s**t in our lives. Some more than others. If you’re still suffering as a result of that, then why not let me help you learn *how* to forget, so that you can get back to happy, healthy & re-connected to life. It’s what I do! And the only requirement from you, is that you genuinely *want* to forget. Just drop me a DM and we'll take it from there.

[Image by Annie Spratt via Unsplash]