04/05/2023
Dear Momma Bear,
Happy birthday ❤️ this year / you’ve given me so many blessings. I’ve felt you quietly giving me permission to allow myself to become someone you never knew. To step into a more confident, capable, and visible version of myself that I’ve resisted since you’ve left me. To allow myself to embody a version of myself you didn’t get to witness has been painful and hard. And yet- you’ve told me it’s okay and have continued to hold my hand - pushing me from behind through my stumbling shakey baby steps into my new life.
Getting engaged and taking on my first real “big girl job” has been hard - letting go of my old struggles - struggles that you were familiar with - was also challenging. If I struggle in the same ways I did when you were here - it’s like you’re still with me; as I take on new challenges and adventures a part of me feels as though I’m leaving you behind.
You’ve assured me that I’m not - in fact you’ve helped me to get to the very place that I currently stand.
As I type this outside of work today, I know you’re sitting beside me in the passenger seat, holding my lunchbox and laptop- ready to walk me into my work day. Gently running your fingers through my hair, and letting me know that just like each day, today, we get to do together.
I love you my sweet momma bear 🐻
