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The Caregiving Life, TX-36, Rosenberg, TX (2025)

10/27/2020

I’m making myself a priority!
Is it going to be hard? Yes!
Am I capable of it? Yes!
Do I deserve it? Yes!
I’m making myself a priority!
Right now!💕💕💕💕

(Special Note to family caregivers)

Caring for a loved one strains even the most resilient people. If you’re a caregiver, take these steps to preserve your own health and well-being.

Caregiving is being provided by people who aren’t health care professionals nowadays.

While caregiving is rewarding, it is also physically and emotionally exhausting. Can you relate?

Bring there when your love one needs you is code value and something you wish to provide.

But a shift in roles and emotions is almost certain.

So, How do you deal with the shift in roles and emotions of caregiving?

Strategies for dealing with caregiver stress 👇

(((Awareness)))

You are aware of the toll their caregiver role is having on their health, family, work, finances, social network...etc

but may not be able to articulate what is happening to them and struggles to meet everyone needs including their own.

In my work, I call this the Awareness phase in caregiving.

I’m going to share some characteristics to help you with self-awareness. Why?

So, you’re meet your needs by making yourself a priority. 👇

There’s signs of your health declining. Headaches, stomach pains, eating problems, weight loss and weight gain, decreased energy, increased blood pressure.

Awareness to what your body is telling you—caregiver stress.

This is where you bring in the strategies I talked about earlier.

As caregivers, we often make doctor appointments for our loved ones because it’s what we suppose to do, Right!

But we often forget to make time for our own doctor appointments. We don’t think it’s important.

That’s actually not true! Caregiving means taking care of yourself so you can take care of your loved one.

So, I want to challenge you.

SAY THIS ALOUD

💕💕💕I’m making myself a priority💕💕💕

Show yourself how much of a priority you are by making yourself a priority.

Make that doctors appointment. And make it without feeling guilty.

The minute you hear negative self-talk, remember part of this self-y’all is your inner critic and everyone have it—it u I s your fixed mindset persona. It can sound like...

“I’m not good enough”
“I can’t do this”
“I don’t deserve it”
“It’s my fault”
“I shouldn’t do this”
“Why try, it won’t change anything “

What does your fixed mindset persona sound like???

I challenge you to give your fixed mindset persona a name.

“I will name you____________”

The next time you think you shouldn’t take care of yourself, I challenge you to become of aware of your thinking 🤔
You deserve to make yourself a priority. YES YES!!

Is it going to be hard to make yourself a priority? Yes of course.

Are you capable of it? Yes you are!

Do you deserve it? Yes!

Starting right now!💕💕💕
Starting today!

Xoxo

Virginia Marie

I have a particular offer that I’m reopening up for a couple of caregivers. A caregiver is anyone who provides help to another person in need, such as an ill spouse or partner, a disabled child, or an aging relative. However, family members who are actively caring for an older adult often don't self-identify as a "caregiver." Recognizing this role can help caregivers receive the support they need.

Which is why I am passionate about my work. I only work with a small handful of handpicked individuals and these individuals want to get out of caregiver overwhelm and stress. My time with these individuals is very precious because I am involved with other things in my life which is why I only take a couple of clients (caregivers) at a time.

This particular offer is individualized (private coaching) if you’ve never gotten support from a coach before, you will consider this a special treat. We will go over:

▪️creating your own self-care plan and regular time away from caregiving (yes, learning how to take care of yourself) while caregiving and how to schedule time to do that

▪️determine which caregiving responsibilities can be delagated and to whom (I mean asking others for help; if you’ve tried and got nowhere, I will show you how to make caregiving load lighter for you)

▪️gain coping techniques for the overwhelming caregiver emotions

Caregivers who’ve gotten support are more confident at caregiving and have reduced their stress levels. The good thing about this offer is comes with daily support from Me so you’ll feel like you’re supported in each stage of your caregiving.

If this offer sounds interesting to you, you’ll just need to send me a message and we can talk over messenger. I’ll ask you a few questions to see if this offer is a fit for you because I wouldn’t want to waste your time. I’ll share all the details with you over messenger.

10/19/2020

▪️STOP AND READ THIS ▪️Share this with someone that need to hear it

When you are a caregiver for an aging parent, responsible for his or her well-being, it is easy to feel you aren’t doing enough. Anyone in this position who is even moderately compassionate, caring and conscientious may sometimes feel guilty about what they are or aren’t doing.

What is Caregiver Guilt
Being guilty is defined as having done something “wrong.” When we are caregivers, we often feel we have done something wrong.

Maybe we feel we don’t spend enough time with our aging loved one. We don’t call or visit often enough. We haven’t made the person we’re caring for happy.

The list could go on and on. We never feel we’re doing enough or doing the right thing. In fact, we probably haven’t done anything “wrong” per se. But we impose guilt on ourselves. Feeling guilty is an epidemic in the caregiving world.

Causes of caregiver guilt:▪️

lot of guilt is self-imposed, but just as often it’s dished out by others. When you’re dealing with a loved one with a serious physical or mental disability, sometimes they will inflict great guilt on their caregivers, even family members they love.

We need to remember they are not well. They may be angry about their condition. They may be lonely and depressed. They are sometimes going to take out their frustration on their caregivers.

No matter how well-intentioned a caregiver may be, no matter how confident we are that we’re doing all we can under the circumstances, guilt is part of a caregiver’s experience. Here are some classic causes of caregiver guilt

💜Everyone in your family is relying on you to be the caregiver. You can never do enough or please everyone…including the loved one for whom you are caring.
💜You’re upset you didn’t recognize symptoms sooner. Maybe they wouldn’t have suffered the stroke if you’d been paying more attention. Maybe they wouldn’t have fallen if you’d paid more attention.
💜You are stressed by the constraints of caregiving and “lose it”. You are mean and angry, not as compassionate or caring as you could or should be.
💜You can’t take time to do something special for yourself. Whether it’s a weekend away, or just an afternoon in the park, you can barely enjoy the break.
💜Taking care of a loved one has become a dreaded obligation. You are embarrassed, maybe even disgusted by their behavior.

Let me know if you’ve felt this before. Am I alone on this?
▪️▪️Would love to hear your voice. Tell me which one of these causes of caregiver guilt can you relate to. Do any of these sound familiar to you▪️▪️

Share your experience in the comments if you feel comfortable to. I’ll be talking about this more.

09/24/2020

Have you ever had one of those days when you don’t want to be bothered, touched or talked to?

Does this sound familiar?

Because of caregiving demands that you barely have time for yourself and you just want alone time but you realize that it’s not their fault (your loved one, caree’)and that’s when the guilt sets in.

Can you relate?

Caregiving takes grit and it’s not easy and it can be very exhausting so it’s understandable to feel like you just need a break. In fact, it’s normal to feel that way so give yourself grace that you’re doing your best.

And yes It’s your responsibility to be their for your caree’ depends on you but it’s your responsibility to take care of yourself too

The best way to deal with this situation is to understand what’s going on with you when situations like this come up and learning how to manage your negative emotions.

Family caregivers are so caring and compassionate and often sacrifice their own time and life to care for their loved one. That’s a good quality to have.

Because of that, can cause some resentment because you’ve given up so much and it feels like your life is over.

Resentment is often caused by anger and indignation.

Anger and indignation stems from annoyance and a slight of injustice.

So, then when you’re caregiving day by day, the hectic schedule demand so much from you and dealing with family dynamics and other caregiving challenges can make it so stressful.

You might even feel like giving up but of course, you’re loving and caring so you’ll never run out on your loved ones.

The problem is you don’t understand what’s going on with you and your negative emotions. You decided to ignore how you feel. And if you don’t ever learn how to manage those negative emotions you’ll always feel unhappy.

Is going on this way going to help the one you care for?

So, how to fix this so you can be a care for your loved one without feeling like you’re drowning?

Here’s how to do this:👇👇👇

By learning how to choose healthier feelings by swapping negative thoughts for positive ones 💭 👈

Here’s how this help family caregivers 👇👇

When you do this effectively and consistently m, reframing alters how you feel about your situation that in the past may have caused you to feel negatively.

I know this sounds easier said than done. If you’re already thinking to yourself right now that there’s no way this would work for you, then that’s evidence that you’re needing help with this.

And Once you learn this, consistently work on reframing those negative thoughts, the easier it get.

In fact, my client Elisha, has been a family caregiver for over a year and when she and I first met, started working together, she felt like she was at a breaking point-that she wanted to give up on taking care of her mom who she still cares for now. Elisha didn’t think she would be able to continue caring for her mom because she was so overwhelmed. When she became aware of her emotions, whenever negative emotions would arise, she no longer avoided how she was feeling. She’s able to continue to care for her mother and have learned how to manage her emotions.

Here’s an example of how to reframe negative thoughts 👇

💐 the first step is to examine a specific negative thought or belief you have.

💐 the next step is to consider other explanations for why the situation occurred

💐 the last step is to reframe negativity by choosing one of the more just as likely positive explanations.

And to go deeper, I usually ask further questions to help provide you with different perspectives.

In order to continue caregiving and feel better about it, you’ll have to learn to manage those negative emotions by practicing choosing a healthier thought.

This is an example of what I do with my clients(family caregivers) In my 1:1 mentorship program. If this sounds interesting to you, send me a message and ask me questions about it.

Photo — Lake Travis in Texas Hill Country

09/07/2020

Are you bringing self-compassion into your life?

Self-compassion is extending compassion to one's self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering.
How can family caregivers extend compassion to one’s self?
By practicing compassion for ourselves for a few minutes each day. Even though caregiving is demanding, family caregivers can still extend self-compassion to themselves by taking care of themselves.
How?
Self-compassion as being composed of three main components – self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
For example: self-kindness

Self-kindness: Self-compassion entails being warm towards oneself when encountering pain and personal shortcomings, rather than ignoring them or hurting oneself with self-criticism.
So, the question is how can a family caregiver be warm to oneself when dealing with the caregiving challenges?
And Is it possible?
First of all, yes it is possible.
Second, by making it a goal to reframe negative thought patterns during stressful situations.
What!?! Yeah it’s possible!
By becoming aware of the negative thinking during.
Here’s a exercise: this exercise is very simple. In the beginning of your day, identify what a good day would look like for you. What would a really good day look like? Nothing fancy, just a really good and regular day.
2. Practice. Describe one seemingly average you can begin with today that will act as a catalyst for bigger results.
3. Describe one habit you begin that has the potential to impact your life in a dramatic way.
The point is making self-compassion a daily goal and self-awareness of what’s going in your day for you.
I’m curious if you’ve tried this exercise before. Let me know in the comments if you’re bringing self-compassion in your life.👇

08/21/2020

How to Reduce Compassion fatigue & Caregiver Burnout?

08/21/2020

The Caregiver secret weapon? Napping 😴

That is napping when our loved ones are napping.

Here are some tips to get the best naps.

•Before you settle in to nap, set an alarm for 20 to 30 minutes so you won’t wake up sleepier than you started out.

•It appears that the best time for a nap is between 1 pm and 3 pm. Napping then will ward off post-lunch fatigue but not be too close to bedtime. If you have a full-time day job, or caregiving full time, napping at during those hours might be a little tricky.

•Find a dark room or wear an eye mask to block the light.

•Have a blanket available because when you sleep your body temperature drops.

•Leave enough time after a nap to get back to full alertness before you start activities.
If you experience a new onset of fatigue without an obvious cause, consider talking to your doctor.

Hope this helps!

Check the Instagram page, www.instagram.com/healthy_24fit

08/19/2020

Mindful relaxation was particularly helpful for stress relief, even more so than walking in the park.

In analyzing these results, I’ve found when my clients and myself included did the mindful relaxation or took a walk, they showed significant decreases in end-of-day stress and fatigue, as well as better concentration at caregiving, compared to days when they took regular lunch breaks or didn’t take any. Mindful relaxation was particularly helpful for stress relief, even more so than walking in the park.

Why do these techniques have these benefits?

Theoretically, walks in nature can lead to “attention restoration”—recovery from cognitive overload after intense focus—while also being enjoyable, while mindfulness can increase our positive emotions, relieve stress, and boost focus.

For example, Elisha’s example proves what I’m saying here. 👇
Elisha’s emotions were all over the place. She was caring for her aged mom and felt like she had no life. She didn’t even had time to brush her teeth. When Elisha’s schedule was evaluated, she and I was able to schedule a mindful relaxation in her caregiving day. Can you believe that? Well, we did!
👇

Elisha found that the enjoyment experienced during walking and the greater detachment from caregiving during mindful relaxation increased well-being and concentration later in the day. Though she’d expected strolling in nature to produce greater detachment from caregiving, it was apparently less effective than the mindfulness practice in this regard.
👇

Still, she says, “Both of these activities should shift the attention away from caregiving work-related issues quite efficiently and offer a break completely free from demands if compared to a regular lunch break” where she had no time for.
👇
Elisha recommends that people take breaks incorporating mindful relaxation on days when they experience high caregiving work demands, and thus need to detach from work, and park walks when they long for a change of scenery and more fun. Her experiment didn’t allow for choice, but she believes that choosing one’s preferred activity may produce even stronger benefits.
👇
Though Elisha did not look at benefits to the organization, she also suggests that taking breaks like these could have a positive impact on productivity.

That ends Elisha’s statement:

What I appreciate about Elisha was her compassion and determination that she was not going to allow caregiving to control her life until the point where her health suffers-more money to pay on her illnesses.

So Elisha has a choice to make herself a priority & care her own failing health or don’t change anything, continue as she was already doing. The choice was here alone to make.

Elisha was running on auto-pilot, stressed, and had severe headaches. Was deciding to put her mom in a nursing home. She wanted to run away from out all. She was alone and isolated. She was at her breaking point.

Something had to change!

Today, Elisha is still caring for her mother. She now include mindful relaxation breaks in her day. She’s still the only caregiver but she has learned how to seek support from the right places. Elisha now schedule mindful relaxation each day with the help of a paid caregiver that she hired. The last time I spoke to Elisha, she was planning a day trip for herself to get away for the day just by herself doing whatever she wants. Before, Elisha would have never thought about taking a vacation day away from caregiving-she thought of this as impossible.

If you’re a caregiver, can you create something like this in your life?

You too have a busy schedule and can’t imagine doing this. Elisha was like that. Instead of singing the same song, she no longer made excuses and took charge of her own life.

Ask yourself...Do you feel you deserve it?

If your answer is Yes, let’s make it happen.
Comment Below if you’re ready!

08/19/2020

Medicare, Medicaid, and private insurance companies will cover some costs of home health care. Other costs you will have to pay for yourself.

If the person who needs care has insurance, check with the person's insurance provider to find out what's included in the plan.
If the person who needs care has Medicare, find out what home health services are covered.
If the person who needs care has Medicaid, coverage of home health services vary between states. Check with your state's Medicaid program to learn what the benefits are.
If you or the person who needs caregiving also needs health insurance, learn about services covered under Marketplace plans at HealthCare.gov.

08/19/2020

There are resources out there for family caregivers.
I’m providing a list of options and resources that may be available in your area. Check these resources for your particular area and see if you take advantage of some of these.

Caregiving services include:

Meal delivery
Home health care services, such as nursing or physical therapy
Nonmedical home care services, such as housekeeping, cooking, or companionship
Making changes to your home, such as installing ramps or modified bathtubs
Legal and financial counseling
Respite care, which is substitute caregiving (someone comes to your home, or you may take your loved one to an adult day care center or day hospital)
The National Eldercare Locator, a service of the U.S. Administration on Aging, can help you find caregiving services in your area. You also can contact your local Area Agency on Aging.

For more information about caregiver stress, call the OWH Helpline at 1-800-994-9662 or contact the following organizations:

Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), HHS
Phone Number: 800-633-4227
Eldercare Locator, Administration on Aging, HHS
Phone Number: 800-677-1116
National Institute on Aging (NIA), NIH, HHS
Phone Number: 800-222-2225
Family Caregiver Alliance (link is external)
Phone Number: 800-445-8106
National Alliance for Caregiving (link is external)
Phone Number: 301-718-8444
National Family Caregivers Association (link is external)
Phone Number: 800-896-3650

08/19/2020

Caregiver burnout is a real thing. Burnout can occur when caregivers don't get the help they need, or if they try to do more than they are able, physically or financially.

Many caregivers also feel guilty if they spend time on themselves rather than on their ill or elderly loved ones. Caregivers who are "burned out" may experience fatigue, stress, anxiety and depression.

What causes caregiver burnout?

Caregivers often are so busy caring for others that they tend to neglect their own emotional, physical and spiritual health. The demands on a caregiver's body, mind and emotions can easily seem overwhelming, leading to fatigue, hopelessness and ultimately burnout.
Other factors that can lead to caregiver burnout include:
• Role confusion
• Unrealistic expectations
• Lack of control
• Unreasonable demands
• other factors

On this page, Friday August 21, there’s going to be a livestream discussion on this topic. To get access to this livestream, tune in Friday right here on this page.

08/17/2020

Remember this the next we feel our loved one is giving us a hard time.

08/17/2020

Caregivers do you journal your thoughts?
If you’re caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s for example, understand that person will lose his short-term memory, but retain some long-term memory if we learn how to trigger it. The first part of the brain that is damaged affects the short-term memory. This is why they repeat their stories, why they can’t remember what they had for breakfast or their daughter just visited last night. This is very complex!
Being the caregiver for your loved one with Alzheimer’s who is now repeating stories and cannot remember things that recently happened can be difficult for the caregiver. The emotions you’re feeling your loved one’s behavior.
Your loved one can no longer remember who you are but they can recall childhood stories. Ugh, it’s like too weird, right! The feelings that are going on for you right now. How do you manage your negative emotions?
I like the journal technique. This is where you get a notebook or diary of some sort and you use it to write your thoughts and feelings in it. These is your private tool to reflect your thinking changes.
The key is to write on it as they arise. Whatever thought you gave, write it in there. Questions to ask yourself in your journal.👇
How do you feel? What are your concerns?Fears? What outcomes are you working for? What losses have you noticed during this period? What changes in the relationship causes you to feel sad? What changes have given you comfort?
While you’re writing about your own feelings, you are also reflecting your feelings toward your loved one’s condition.
Try it. Let me know in the comments if journaling is apart of your caregiving.

08/17/2020

I want to talk about something that only family caregivers can relate to and...
That’s the feeling of feeling like we’re trapped in our caregiving sometimes like we have no life outside of caregiving.
Why? Because this feeling is so real & it’s it going away.
The feeling of 👇
I’m tapped because of my loved one I care for can no longer leave the house for any reason. She needs someone with her at all times. I cannot leave her for a minute. That stops me from doing other things because I have to hurry back home because my neighbors or friends can’t stay with her very long.
Sound familiar?
If you’re not a caregiver, you probably think this person is just complaining, but what this person is really doing is explaining their situation to us.
And if you’re a caregiver, I know you can relate because this must likely is something similar to what you’re experiencing. I can totally relate to this!
My question into you is. What is the problem in their caregivers situation?
Well, I’m going to explain it in a minute.
Well, you’re probably saying especially if you’re in this situation. Well the caregiver will not feel lonely and isolate oh she had someone helping her. If she didn’t have to caregiving all by myself.
Is this 100% true? No it’d part true but there’s more to this.
True, it the caregiver had help, she would have more time for herself? Personal matters and other duties that will make it a lot easier.
That’s by changing your thinking patterns.
You can do this in three steps:
Grab a diary for this exercise.
I call this a Thought Challenge Diary.
1. Identify -
Write your negative thoughts down as they come. For example: The thinking of feeling trapped, isolated and lonely. Write that thought down in your journal.
2. Challenge-
You’re going to challenge that negative thought by questioning it.
(Give me a minute and I will come back to this one)
3. Change -
Change your negative thought by shifting it to a healthier thought.
So, you’re feeling negative about caregiving because you don’t have a life and you’re lonely. In order to challenge that thought, ask yourself..What do i think about when I have that feeling?

Ask yourself, what do I do when I have this feeling?
By asking yourself these questions, you’re able to challenge your negative thoughts.
This is where change begins.

Of course, caregiving will still be there and you’ll likely to still have no support but you will know how to react to those negative emotions once this technique is mastered. I’ve used it many times so I know it helps.

To challenge your negative thoughts slows you to shift your negative thinking that’s not serving you well and that is where can starts!

When you examine your own challenges that’s when you can move these challenges to the surface easily.

You may still be caregiving all on your own but what this type of exercise does is, allow you to clear your mind and you may be able to come up with strategies that will help your caregiving.

Do, the next time you start to feel negative about your caregiving, try this exercise in this post.”, the thought challenge diary.

It’s about changing your automatic thought patterns.

If you like to see how this was done in action, check out my client’s testimonial 👇👇

This information is what my client, Elisha did in our work together.

Elisha is a family caregiver who cares for her mother and she started working with me because she was overwhelmed with caring for her mom. She said she was ready to put her mom in a nursing home because it had got to be too much for her physically.

I started working with Elisha and we were in phase 3 of the coaching program that walks the caregiver through developing a routine for not only her loved one but herself so caregiving load can be lightened.

Working with Elisha helped her bring her awareness to her emotions and instead of avoiding them and denying them, becoming aware to what she was feeling and getting behind the scenes of the emotions so she can learn how to effectively manage them.

After learning understanding how this process works in phase 3, she now knows understand her emotions and know how to manage her emotions. She now feels like she can continue caregiving instead of placing her mom in a home, she continued to take care of her at home.

Why? Because she no longer run her day on autopilot. Although she’s still busy, she no longer feels that caregiving is controlling her life. She feels like she has her own life too.
———-
———-
This case study was shared to show you how this kind of stuff works and how I help family caregivers go from overwhelm, burnout out and unhappy to learning how to manage negative emotions, create a caregiver plan that organizes your caregiving and identify pitfalls in your caregiving thats sabotaging you.

If this is left unattended to and you knees going this way, can’t you see how this can easily lead to depression, anxiety and headaches which can be expensive when you have to get a prescription for each of these. I save you the trouble of doing that and show you how to put your own oxygen mask on so you can be a better caregiver to your loved ones.

If this sounds like something you like to explore, reach out to me as I do have room to talk in messenger about this. I’m opening up a spot in my six weeks intensive for family caregivers who is seeking support so send me message and I’ll ask you a couple of questions to see if this makes sense to you and we can get started.

Xoxo

Virginia Marie

08/12/2020

Why me? Why don’t anyone else help? It’s their loved one too!

That was my response and common complaint. I felt if I shouted this out every time I saw someone that help would appear magically but it didn’t. I was still crying because I didn’t have any help.

Maybe this is you. Can you relate?

If you and your loved one share a household with other family members (including children) consider creating House rules.

Rules for the household include:👇

Who does what, when and how;
Guideline for fights, fun, and celebrations
Expectations in regard to support, engagement and participation
Schedule of meetings and their purpose

If family members conveniently become unavailable for meetings, don’t worry, then send regular email reminders, post them on the fridge somewhere visible.

When you keep your family members informed of your caree’s situation, you can ensure your own peace of mind.

Family members may choose to stay uninvolved but they have to live with that choice.

Granted, this strategy will not be perfect. You may have to work with the family you got considering their personalities but with effort and persistence, your family will understand what you’re needing from them.

No family is perfect! Your family loves you and want to help you, even when it seems like they don’t.

Don’t give up on them, After all Caregiving is big responsibility.

Try this strategy.

Let me know in the comments if you’re going to create this strategy and apply it to your family 👇

Let me know if you have tried this, how has it worked for you

Reach out to my in the PM if you’re wanting help with applying this strategy to your family

The Caregiving Life

10/27/2020

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