08/30/2025
My prayer is to one day have the relationship I have with my daughter with my own mother.
My prayer is to not to have our relationship end up like her relationship with her own mother where they weren’t even speaking to each other, and the craziest thing of all is for whatever reason we are here today and it is one of the sources of my depression. I once had a good relationship with my mother based off of me, people pleasing for her, or what felt like me having to shrink myself to be around her has caused me to fill away and with my growth and just awareness of how I operate around people and bring myself to really just being present in the moment and not allowing anyone to shrink me or put me in a corner or make me feel any type of way has seem to cause a big rift between us and that is the one thing that if I could change, my prayer would be to begin to be able to build a relationship with my mother based off the foundation of respect, loyalty,
and clear communication and comprehension.
I realize that holding all the stuff in has been the grief and the weights that have held me down.
I’ve gone through a lot and it’s time for me to share my layers and as I am the light in the darkness, I’m shedding my layers and hopes that it might help someone else out of their dark place, I’m not upset.
It is the price that I have to pay for choosing better for myself. It has become very clear to me that when people transform to their better selves or raise their vibrations that unfortunately you do lose some people and throughout this transformation that I’ve been going through for many many years, it feels like I am losing the closest people to me. Let’s be real clear on the people that I’ve lost this transformation for one reason or another since I’ve been on my journey. Here’s a list of people that I no longer speak to and it’s really perplexing to me or was perplexing to me as I am learning to deal with and work through I’m no longer speaking to my mother, she does not speak to me when I call. I get a dry so I’m not gonna put myself in a place where you can talk to me like that, I’m no longer speaking to my son he blocked me after I told him to not waste my time if I’m showing up for you last thing I want is to be waiting then you blame me for you and your actions, my sister who told me I call
To much then changed her number so clearly she did not want to talk to me anymore then when we seen each other it was like stank ass energy I’m good on that I cheer everyone one but people only liked me when I was down now that I’m in a Good Great Place nothing. Just releasing my random thoughts and such.
Happy Saturday
